TrueSmiles12 Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 i'll try to keep it short and sweet... boyfriend of about 5+ months just broke things off with me. it's been a LDR for most of the time, i'm in college and he's out of college working a full-time job back at home. we got together this past summer, hit it off and made the most of the time we had together before i went to study abroad in italy. he even came all the way to italy to see me so we wouldnt have to wait 4 months to see each other... but before i left for italy, his attitude about our relationship was, "do whatever u want to do, i don't want to hold u back, just don't tell me so it doesn't hurt me" aaaand well... i did. i basically had 2 relationships at the same time. one with my exbf in italy who i study with and have been on and off with for over 2 yrs. and my guy at home. they knew of one another, just not the extent of each others' relationships with me... i just recently told my bf of 5 months the entire truth because he decided that he actually wanted to know... obviously things did not go over well at all. for the past 3 weeks, his heart and mind have been up and down as far as being able to trust me, not trust me, be with me long-distance, or not be with me at all. sometimes he would say, "everything's alright, we can get over this" and other times, he would say, "i can't do it, i can't be with someone i don't trust." needless to say, because i'm 5 hrs away from him, he took the easy way out and ended it ALL. and is now saying that he knows we will NEVER EVER EVER get back together. how can he honestly say that??? who knows what will ever happen in the future? it hurts me a lot and it is just not fair for him to say such when he doesn't even know what can happen. and he's the one that says that there are such things as on and off relationships and he was the one who initially claimed this as just a mere "break". and now....... NOTHING. except....... he booked a flight to come see me in early march prior to everything bad. he still calls me everyday at the same times he used to. we still have the same friendly and fun conversations like before, when we're not talking about our relationship's ending. but he is VERY animate about this being the end and that i should not expect anything to ever go back to the way things were when we were together. he still wants to come visit and still wants me to go down and spend my spring break with him, but that i shouldnt expect anything to come out of it. what am i supposed to think?? he acts differently than what he says... i don't want him to cancel his trip and i don't want us to not talk completely because i'm still trying to hang on to something. he still texts me things like he misses me etc, but always feels the need to remind me that we are no more. what should i do? what should i think? i can't move on because it seems like he is just taking the easy way out and being really convenient for himself, especially because i'm 5 hrs away. but is it really over for him? this is really hard because we both saw this being a really long-term thing. he still says he sees us hanging out in the summer just like last summer, etc etc... he can't even go a day without trying to contact me, well except for today.. no contact is just not working, it's not talking to my best friend, it's HARD... please help.
witabix Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 You cheated on him, I really don't see what you expect him to feel right now. He may get over it. He has told you he cannot trust you, its really hard to get the trust back once it is broken. Wanting you still to hang out for the holidays is a good sign. Maybe you should work on showing him he can trust you. Good luck.
cygny Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 i don't understand why he gave you permission to have other relationships, insisting you not tell him about them, then changes his mind and now says he doesn't trust you. this isn't making sense to me. obviously he doesn't mean what he says. so that would make me think you should go by his actions here. either way i don't think that telling him about the other guy was a good idea.
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