Author cygny Posted February 12, 2006 Author Posted February 12, 2006 what about the guy who was supposed to come this weekend? i thought he was an online guy??? yeah we'll have to see each other's..
curiousnycgirl Posted February 12, 2006 Posted February 12, 2006 I was on a large number of websites before meeting my b/f - online I might add. Once I put a picture up I was inundated with replies - no joke over 1,000 in the first 24 hours - and then hundreds a day after that! I would say fewer than 1% actually read my profile, and far fewer than that were of any interest to me. You need to develop a very keen eye on how you read the notes from these men - and chalk it all up to a numbers game. However from those thousands of inappropriate notes I received - I did meet a few nice guys. Wasn't hard to pick them out - they were the ones who wrote complete sentences, including punctuation and did not include a single suggestive comment. My b/f really stuck out among all the rif raff and we've been together for 20 months now - a couple of bumps in the road, but overall we are going strong. My personal view of online dating is that for those of us who won't do bar hook ups, work like crazy and have other interests in their lives, it's a very logical way to meet guys. Like anything else you just need to be careful, discriminating and willing to try.
Author cygny Posted February 12, 2006 Author Posted February 12, 2006 hotcali--this is maybe the first time where i have just said --*I'm* doing the choosing, here.-- because the guys are mostly indiscriminate! the first one I picked is still the one i am most interested. but once i send an icebreaker, i'm letting him take the lead. whew, i guess it's true what they say about the women actually doing the picking--maybe this is why i never felt too excited about my old boyfriends, lol i put up a single pic like my avatar and was getting a few responses and then i put up 4 more photos and now i am getting alot more emails. guys still not reading my profile for the most part.
Author cygny Posted February 12, 2006 Author Posted February 12, 2006 curious--what's your take on a guy who is obviously high up on the food chain, high-powered skiier/athlete, likes the bar/club scene and is into fast cars--says its a boyish thing with him? on the good side he's obviously intelligent and well-educated, polite, and balanced out with the arts--talks about inspiring conversations. nothing suggestive in his notes. i guess with his interests/profile i would normally think fun playboy but he doesn't come off that way in his writing so far.
HotCaliGirl Posted February 12, 2006 Posted February 12, 2006 Do you know cygny that I would guess at least 90% of the men I've met online, I initiated it with a similar icebreaker type deal you have...that for me works the best, I go through the profiles and the ones I think I am interested in, I will send a wink or an icebreaker or whatever, then if they are interested in me, they respond and I take it from there..that's just how it's been for me, no romantic sitting back and Mr. Right contacts me...takes work...cuz the ones responding to me are usually mr. wrong, maybe my fault too if I don't succeed in rightfully portraying myself and the wrong types contact me, so I take things into my own hands...
Author cygny Posted February 12, 2006 Author Posted February 12, 2006 how does it go usually after the initial wink/response? short emails every day? or longer waiting? when do you call? when do you meet? do you let him move it from there or do you take charge there too?
HotCaliGirl Posted February 12, 2006 Posted February 12, 2006 after sending some emails back/forth to find out what he's about he'll either give you his number or ask for yours and you can do what you feel most comfortable with (I prefer for them to call me). Usually you can find out right away over the phone if you're still interested, and if the phone call goes well he will likely ask you out. I've gone on the most amazing dates from online, better than when I have met people in person, since I got to know a lot more about the person beforehand. Just don't feel pressured to respond to guys who are very persistent, do whatever feels right. Of course you might meet someone who is totally not for you, but that's the risk you take to meet all the nice ones.
clandestinidad Posted February 12, 2006 Posted February 12, 2006 CYGNY: I suppose you didnt read the posts about what happened.... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=81277&page=4 Thats okay, though, I'll meet other people who dont care about such things
incognito Posted February 12, 2006 Posted February 12, 2006 incognito--you must be beautiful or famous or both, huh? have you run across alot of players? what kind of guy are you looking for? thanks for your posts to the taming thread btw, they were very helpful. lol...well, no, but...I have been on the internet for a while
clandestinidad Posted February 12, 2006 Posted February 12, 2006 CYGNY: How's your online dating going this weekend?? Anything new to tell us about? I just emailed that guy I mentioned earlier. I didnt know what to say, so its pretty short, haha. What do YOU say in an email to someone new? Do you have to answer his questions?? I dont usually answer them...not sure why
Author cygny Posted February 12, 2006 Author Posted February 12, 2006 CYGNY: How's your online dating going this weekend?? Anything new to tell us about? I just emailed that guy I mentioned earlier. I didnt know what to say, so its pretty short, haha. What do YOU say in an email to someone new? Do you have to answer his questions?? I dont usually answer them...not sure why hi! my mailbox has been alot fuller since i put up more pics. i sent some more icebreakers out, got some replies back, then i don't answer those because i'm not subscribed. i did get another good prospect to email me a second time with his email address included, so what hotcaligirl said is definitely working, except maybe for the clueless guys. most of the guys who are choosing me are unsuitable. i am getting weird replies from iran, brazil, old guys from france, no photo guys from germany--i mean, WHAT are they even thinking???? they don't even bother to read. i have lost faith in the masculine ability to discriminate, lol. wow i guess i'm surprised you're still emailing that guy--i would be speechless, lol!! or do you mean the guy who sent you the second email--he sounded good-- i think i am going to evade the questions they ask me, or at least come up with a silly non-answer--maybe because it would make us look to 'serious'?? i have two replies to send out tonight. i'm ignoring the rest. too much work.
clandestinidad Posted February 12, 2006 Posted February 12, 2006 Oh no, I meant the guy on the y* site who's sent me two messages over the last 2 months...not the other one...LOL The guy who always shows up as my #1 match is attractive and sounds great, but he hasnt sent me anything...I wonder why.....should I do anything about that?? I figure he's seen my profile already and would send something if he wanted. So, I know what you mean about sending winks and then they wink back and theres nothing you can do after that!! Its pretty funny and annoying. Thats weird that you get that many international guys...they must really like the way you look!!!! I want to see yours. I guess I'll look for your email in your profile here and email you. I agree w/ you about evading the questions...unless they're simple silly ones. What are the one's youre replying to like?? There was an attractive guy I emailed back and forth with like twice a few months ago, but I was rude both times by waiting WAAAAY too long in between, so I doubt I should email him again...probably thinks I'm a big flake or something. Thats too bad because he looks pretty hot. But the vast majority of the guys are soooo unattractive! Its such a sad little experience, ya know
incognito Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 So.....I pulled my profile completely down today because....one of the guys I was talking to actually hunted down my phone number and called me today!!!! I about lost it. WTF!!!!!!! They are like vultures. Has anyone else had to deal w/ this???? It's bloody incredible.
Author cygny Posted February 14, 2006 Author Posted February 14, 2006 hmmm...not at all-- i'm just wondering because the guys i've been picking to move forward with have been complete gentlemen. but also i haven't told them my last name. what has led up to it, if you don't mind me asking? is it the guys from the fitness website? i'm picking professional and mature guys in a major european city on the y site--35yo and up. they all have univ. degrees and seem very intelligent and thoughtful. maybe the expectations are different. i'm ignoring the younger ones and the guys who obviously aren't settled or just looking for fun and a good time. i've gotten lots of emails from everywhere and alot do seem very eager but i ignore those -this time it's all about what *i* want. i am going for being discriminating rather than for quantity. i have gotten 3 email addresses now that i am interested in pursuing, 2 are ones i initiated, and i like those two better than the other one which was initiated by him. the chatting with 2 is going well. i wouldn't mind finding another 2-3 guys, and try to get to know them all a little better. first guy is director of design/branding corporations- and also on board of 3 IT co's. he travels and loves other cultures, he's a skiier and looks like alot of fun. likes fast cars, and the arts. just my type as far as a profile but i'm not sure about the SOH yet or chemistry. lol. The second guy i'm chatting with is in ents/media, and also does stocks, i guess. he's pretty fun and flirty, but comes across as very down to earth and well-informed about stuff going on. there's more verbal jokes going on with him. the third guy is a banker but i don't like him as well because he's not as 'hunky'. and he seems a little serious in a dour kind of way.
Art_Critic Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 So.....I pulled my profile completely down today because....one of the guys I was talking to actually hunted down my phone number and called me today!!!! I about lost it. WTF!!!!!!! They are like vultures. Has anyone else had to deal w/ this???? It's bloody incredible. I know that feeling A couple of years ago I was talking with this woman she was about 38 years old ( my age at the time also ) and I gave her my email ( work email ) So she did the same thing they all do and hit my work web page.. But she took it one step further ..It has my phone number to my desk on there.. Boom I pick up the phone the same day I gave her my email and it is her on the other end..I never asked her to call or told her we should talk on the phone I'm in the middle of a busy day and had no idea what to say to her.. We had only exchanged about 5-6 emails thru a 5-6 day period before her call and I didn't feel ready to talk to her. I talked maybe 5 mins then said I have to go.. I then emailed her a goodbye
SincereOnlineGuy Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 i decided to put my "free profile" up and see what happened. I left my essay very short-a single paragraph that described me and what kind of man is my type. it's amazing how many guys that reply are not even reading my profile in terms of what i'm looking for, apparently. and about 40% of the emails i've received have been from men in foreign countries. that is just weird--i mean--why???? i did a search, found one man that interested me, and sent him an icebreaker. he replied in bold in one line , "can't wait to hear from you again." I would have to subscribe and pay about $40 to answer his email, and there is no one else on the site that interests me at this time. I don't know how to take it. if he was interested wouldn't he have sent me more than one line or asked some questions? is this a typical blow-off line for online dating? i really haven't done it before. That is some website's method of extracting "about $40" from you. Close the window and never look back at it. For all a woman need do anywhere on the internet is just put "F" in her profile and she'll get zillions of responses. A woman need not PAY anything for that sort of attention. If you're at a website where it seems that women are getting almost no responses, then that isn't a place to waste your time on.
Author cygny Posted February 15, 2006 Author Posted February 15, 2006 I know that feeling A couple of years ago I was talking with this woman she was about 38 years old ( my age at the time also ) and I gave her my email ( work email ) So she did the same thing they all do and hit my work web page.. But she took it one step further ..It has my phone number to my desk on there.. Boom I pick up the phone the same day I gave her my email and it is her on the other end..I never asked her to call or told her we should talk on the phone I'm in the middle of a busy day and had no idea what to say to her.. We had only exchanged about 5-6 emails thru a 5-6 day period before her call and I didn't feel ready to talk to her. I talked maybe 5 mins then said I have to go.. I then emailed her a goodbye OMG that is so aggressive. I would run for cover too!
Art_Critic Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 That is some website's method of extracting "about $40" from you. Close the window and never look back at it. For all a woman need do anywhere on the internet is just put "F" in her profile and she'll get zillions of responses. A woman need not PAY anything for that sort of attention. If you're at a website where it seems that women are getting almost no responses, then that isn't a place to waste your time on. On most of the websites you have to pay to play. M a t c h for example you have to pay to read emails that have been sent you..
Author cygny Posted February 15, 2006 Author Posted February 15, 2006 That is some website's method of extracting "about $40" from you. Close the window and never look back at it. For all a woman need do anywhere on the internet is just put "F" in her profile and she'll get zillions of responses. A woman need not PAY anything for that sort of attention. If you're at a website where it seems that women are getting almost no responses, then that isn't a place to waste your time on. thanks, things have gotten a little better--the guys are starting to send me their email addresses now when they don't hear back a second time from me, so i am definitely not subscribin. i'm in europe though and there doesn't seem to be as many sites or as much action over here.
AmItheOne Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 I just wanted to throw my 2 cents in about the whole online dating thing. I posted my profile on y* years ago back when it was free to post, free to reply and you could see their screen name on their profile. I never really met anyone online in person but it was a great ego booster for a broken heart. 2 years ago after a breakup, I posted my profile again on y*, I met 3 or 4 men while on the site...one of which is my boyfriend of almost 2 years now! We lived just a few miles from each other...but being that I was a single mother, working full time and in college full time and he was in the Navy...the chances are we would have never met. The other guys I met online were great too...but my boyfriend definitely stood out. I was always careful...meeting in a public place with my friends around...but it is definitely the way to go when you are as strapped for time as I was and not really into meeting bar guys! About the one line replies...the guy responding probably hasn't paid for the service either and therefore wants to save a buck or two hoping you have subscribed. I never subscribed, but my boyfriend was smart enough to send me a cute email along with his email addy and the rest is history! Good luck to ya!
incognito Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 I know that feeling A couple of years ago I was talking with this woman she was about 38 years old ( my age at the time also ) and I gave her my email ( work email ) So she did the same thing they all do and hit my work web page.. But she took it one step further ..It has my phone number to my desk on there.. Boom I pick up the phone the same day I gave her my email and it is her on the other end..I never asked her to call or told her we should talk on the phone I'm in the middle of a busy day and had no idea what to say to her.. We had only exchanged about 5-6 emails thru a 5-6 day period before her call and I didn't feel ready to talk to her. I talked maybe 5 mins then said I have to go.. I then emailed her a goodbye Um...yes, this is about how it is w/ me. ....one guy figured out my name just from the pic in my profile. He had to have googled it to findo ut who I was though. And, the guy who called me....first off I never gave him my real name...he figured it out somehow (still not sure how) and then....he had to have googled me (searching through many results!!) to have found my work contact #. My profile now says that I am 70 yrs old and 240lbs. Done w/ that! cygny....yes...fitness site, and I have been trying to be discriminate for sure...but I swear, some of them are crazy:eek:
Author cygny Posted February 15, 2006 Author Posted February 15, 2006 incognito--you better protect yourself then--maybe put up an ugly pic?? lol well no reply from #1. he gave me his email last thursday, i replied on friday, then he replied back on friday evening and said he was flying out to go skiing. so i waited until monday to email him--and nothing since. are we over already? have I been "dumped"?
incognito Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 incognito--you better protect yourself then--maybe put up an ugly pic?? lol well no reply from #1. he gave me his email last thursday, i replied on friday, then he replied back on friday evening and said he was flying out to go skiing. so i waited until monday to email him--and nothing since. are we over already? have I been "dumped"? Well if he doesn't answer...move on! You can find a better hottie
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