cygny Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 i decided to put my "free profile" up and see what happened. I left my essay very short-a single paragraph that described me and what kind of man is my type. it's amazing how many guys that reply are not even reading my profile in terms of what i'm looking for, apparently. and about 40% of the emails i've received have been from men in foreign countries. that is just weird--i mean--why???? i did a search, found one man that interested me, and sent him an icebreaker. he replied in bold in one line , "can't wait to hear from you again." I would have to subscribe and pay about $40 to answer his email, and there is no one else on the site that interests me at this time. I don't know how to take it. if he was interested wouldn't he have sent me more than one line or asked some questions? is this a typical blow-off line for online dating? i really haven't done it before.
CaliGuy Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 Cygny, when I had an ad on CL I deleted the ones who replied with one or two lines. It showed me they didn't take the time to read the ad they just responded to the picture. Believe me, I deleted a LOT of responses.
Author cygny Posted February 7, 2006 Author Posted February 7, 2006 so i guess it's a waste of time, huh. oh well. i wondered if maybe my ad was too short, because i did get 2 replies that mentioned the brevity. i pretty much believe that guys hate to read and only look at pics anyway, that's why i kept my essay so short, thinking that they could at least find it easy to read *that* much, lol. what is CL?
CaliGuy Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 Craig's List. Where did you post yours? Since I can't PM you I can't see your ad
Author cygny Posted February 7, 2006 Author Posted February 7, 2006 i know, this pm business makes me feel second class, lol. what to do?? i can't say anything privately, lol hint--i posted on the site begins with y, lol. are you having any luck with online dating? had any dates? click with anyone?
CaliGuy Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 No not really. Not online at least. What I am finding is: a. There are a lot of fakes out there. b. People are using very old pictures. c. There are many people out there lying to themselves. d. I'm not interested in breaking up a marriage. So I've staved off of internet dating right now in favor of meeting people locally and seeing if we have something in common. We'll see. My email is jarbarian at yahoo dot com. I can send you a copy of my ad if you want to see what I wrote just to get an idea.
Author cygny Posted February 8, 2006 Author Posted February 8, 2006 hey that would be nice--i put my email addy in my profile under the notes. oh the fakes, forget it!--it's almost like i expect there will be some lie--and i've gotten several replies from guys with no photos--those guys have to be married or in relationships--right? i mean,--who would reply to an ad with no photo--that is taking the idea of blind date to a new level, lol.
incognito Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 how come you can't pm? I just did this, put up a free profile...I've met a couple of very cool people actually. I just did the free profile thingy...so I can't contact people I want to talk to...I can only talk to them if they contact me. every guy has contacted me BUT the one I want to talk to LOL
Author cygny Posted February 8, 2006 Author Posted February 8, 2006 i'm too new, they won't let me pm yet. same here about the guy i was interested in. why is that, lol?? i was going to send another icebreaker to him (the guy who sent me the oneline response), but the site won't let me. do you think it was a non-response anyway? or a piece of player-bait? or is that the same thing, lol? which site are you on? mine won't let me respond unless i subscribe...
incognito Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 i'm on fitness-singles some people just don't read your profile ...I've had some people totally not even close to my interests try to contact me...I block 'em right away..hahaha. And when I'm talking to them...they have about 3 sentences to make a good impression or I ditch them...seriously, I never thought I made judgements that quick but I can tell right away whether someone's not a good match or not. on your site...are you not able to talk to anyone? on this one...I can recieve emails...I just can't read them. But if you look at someone's profile, they can see that, and if they send me an instant msg...then I can talk to them.
Author cygny Posted February 8, 2006 Author Posted February 8, 2006 i can send an icebreaker--those are oneliners that have been preselected by the site, there are about 10 to choose from. i can also receive both icebreakers and emails. but i cannot send emails unless i subscribe. i think there are ways to get around this, but it takes some effort. biggest problem is there doesn't seem to be other guys that i'd have much interest in, at least not in the long term. so i think i will let it go...maybe i'll try your site.
PlentyLV007 Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 How long have you been doing it? Anything interesting about it? About two years ago I did it non stop....I met some great people...dated but never ended up being serious. Have you gone on any dates? Can I be honest....I think you and Cali Guy would be great! =) I can c some chemistry by just reading your post back and forth to each other....
Author cygny Posted February 8, 2006 Author Posted February 8, 2006 plenty--i've only been on it for a few days--my profile went up on sunday.
Author cygny Posted February 8, 2006 Author Posted February 8, 2006 whoa incognito nice site. but it won't let me register because i'm not in the us or canada at the moment. threw me off when i tried. i'll have to wait til i get back there, damn.
Art_Critic Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 Cygny, I wouldn't pay up if only one guy sends his interest.. He might have sent the email just to see if you reply.. If you are real serious about staying at the Y place then pay .. but don't do it for one guy.. The chance of you throwing away the money is pretty high. Being that his replay was "can't wait to hear from you again." instead of him throwing in his email addy.. On sites that I know that the women have to pay to play I always give them a way to get in touch with me without having to pay. Although on some sites like match you have to pay just to read the email.. Sites like m____ maker you don't
Author cygny Posted February 9, 2006 Author Posted February 9, 2006 thanks art and everybody. so i put up more photos yesterday and tonight i have another email from the guy i was interested in and had sent the icebreaker to. he gave me his email address so i won't have to subscribe. smart move on his part, huh? art you taught me that one. hmmm... wonder if the actions are related. he said he wants to know more. that's about it. so art or other men or women who've had success--how much content do you put into this email. or is it better to just be flirty and see if some chemistry can develop.
Art_Critic Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 he said he wants to know more. that's about it. so art or other men or women who've had success--how much content do you put into this email. or is it better to just be flirty and see if some chemistry can develop. Defiantly don't write a book .. give him the basics with out too much.... Maybe tell him about your family.. how many bros and sis and where you grew up and what brought you to the city your in now.. Maybe tell him a favorite one or two of your restaurants and then ask him his.. I have a tendency to get blow off a woman quickly that starts out with too much info on the first email.. You want to work up to the lengthy emails after you smell each other butts first..
cal gal Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 I guess if I were you I wouldn't give out too much "telling" info that is personal, like - specifically where you live, cell # etc. Ask him things about himself, and his preferences about anything: cars sports friends hobbies where he likes to vacation These are non intrusive topics that will allow you to get an idea of what he may be like without intimidating him. Besides men LOVE to talk about themselves (which is not always a bad thing)
Author cygny Posted February 11, 2006 Author Posted February 11, 2006 well i'm pretty pleased with this guy so far. i sent him a short email that began with a line about what i liked in his profile and pics, then a 4-line paragraph about the cities i live in, how i like travel and what i like to do when i travel (he has a passion for travel and cultures too), and a line about my current art project. then i asked him to tell me more about him. i was wondering whether he would wait til monday to reply back, and frankly, since he seems like a pretty high-powered 'cool' dude, i am on guard that he might be the player type. ugh i don't want another game-player a**hole. but refreshingly he sent me back an email last night as he was flying to his other city, said he liked my style, we seem to share many interests (which is really hard for me to find in a guy) and told me more about what he does, and asked me what else, besides, intelligence, i found attractive in a man... what a loaded question!
incognito Posted February 11, 2006 Posted February 11, 2006 well I hope you're having a better experience than I am, lol...I have met a couple cool guys to talk to, but I have also run across from freaking vultures as soon as they find out one little thing about me they are googling my name Some have even guessed my name based on the pics I put in my profile!! LOL The block button is my favourite link
Author cygny Posted February 11, 2006 Author Posted February 11, 2006 incognito--you must be beautiful or famous or both, huh? have you run across alot of players? what kind of guy are you looking for? thanks for your posts to the taming thread btw, they were very helpful.
clandestinidad Posted February 11, 2006 Posted February 11, 2006 I get a lot of loser messages, and delete them quickly too. I've never actually met someone through a dating site, just looked around ya know. I hadnt checked it in a while, but just did a second ago, and one of the guy's who seems alright sent me another message. The first one was on 12/17 and the second one was yesterday. He said "I guess i thought i'd try one more time. not desperate... just know what i like. you really do seem like someone worth getting to know... " He left his email address again, so I think I'll write him. Maybe we could have a fun date or something. Does his message spark anything 'off' to ya'll?? (since youre pro's apparently)
Author cygny Posted February 11, 2006 Author Posted February 11, 2006 kat--no it sounds good, for what it was??? you never met someoene --i thought you were doing this awhile?
clandestinidad Posted February 11, 2006 Posted February 11, 2006 I've belonged to the same site as you for a year or so, I guess. But I've never met anyone from it. I've met 2 people in person that were my 'friends' on myspace, one I wasnt attracted to, and the other stayed the night (no sex, but lots of touching) but has/had a long-term girlfriend...and ya'll reminded me about what bad character he has to do such a thing to his girlfriend. haha I dont really have much experience in this....I usually ignore a lot of people. I want to look at your profile!!! How can we see each others??
HotCaliGirl Posted February 12, 2006 Posted February 12, 2006 i decided to put my "free profile" up and see what happened. I left my essay very short-a single paragraph that described me and what kind of man is my type. it's amazing how many guys that reply are not even reading my profile in terms of what i'm looking for, apparently. and about 40% of the emails i've received have been from men in foreign countries. that is just weird--i mean--why???? It's true that men are visual. I had put my online profile up a few years ago with no pic, got very few responses despite my accomplishments and good description. I put a "bad" pic - very formal attire from far away so you couldn't really make me out, I got medicore responses. I then put a somewhat sexy picture up, still very medicore in my opinion...There were over 11,000 hits to my page in just over a month without changing anything but the picture. I would have people asking me questions when the answers were clearly written about me in the profile had they taken a minute to read it. It was a good weeding out tool cuz i didn't want to respond to the people who responded to the pic (which I took down). Also i agree with Art Critic that any man worth getting to know, if he is really interested in you he will always find a clever way to leave his contact info in the email he sends to you in case you are not a paid member, which is normal for some women who feel cheapened to have to pay to meet a man. Anyways, I have met some amazing people from online, I just love it. Now that I have myspace, I don't bother with the dating sites anymore since myspace is free and a million times better.
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