getting stuff back after break-up

[POTAMO]

I have been together with my g/f for almost 3 year and have been living together for about a year, it has been on and off for a few months now. Mid Dec I told her I cannot do this anymore and needed her to move her things out as she needed her time and space to think over things and what she wanted. So I asked her to get her stuff and make sure it all out by the New Year as I was going to be away for the holidays. Once I came back I found some of her important stuff still in our appartment.

 

It really upset me as I made it clear I need everything out to allow me to move on with my life. Well she has not respected my wish and once I returned from my holiday I started to receive txt messages and IMs asking how I was doing, how my holiday was etc. I decided NC was the best thing for me. This was fine until just the other day when I received any email saying I know you don't want to talk to me but I need my stuff back and when she could come by and get the things back. It is not that I dont want to give her things back it is just that I cant see her right not as I know it will be very hard for me.

 

If you count the holidays which I dont. My NC started in early Jan it has been 37 days with NC and I need more time I have not responded to her email but I am no 100% certain but fairly sure she has moved on if not even moved in with another guy. Talk about moving fast ! It is had enough as it is but I need more time with NC.

 

What can I do I don't want her to think I am trying to keep her stuff b/c im not I just can't see her or her friend right now.

 

Should I respond to her email and tell her that I don't think I should she her and that she needs to respect my request when I made it clear she should move it all. Why would you leave things behind she knew how hard it if for me as I told her I cannot be surrounded by pictures of us and your stuff.

 

I am also a bit upset because I told her when she was done moving to leave the key in the apartment and when I came back from holidays it was not there so I assume she still has it.

 

How unrespectful can a person be to think I would be OK with all of this, I did not want to end our relationship she did. I just took it to the point that you need to move your stuff and she agreed. I feel she should wait until I am ready to return her things basically ready to see her without getting emotionally worked up and upset that are not longer together. Its even harder b/c as I said I think she has moved on and living with another guy.

 

Any ideas on what I can do?

 

P

[CaliGuy]

I have been together with my g/f for almost 3 year and have been living together for about a year, it has been on and off for a few months now. Mid Dec I told her I cannot do this anymore and needed her to move her things out as she needed her time and space to think over things and what she wanted. So I asked her to get her stuff and make sure it all out by the New Year as I was going to be away for the holidays. Once I came back I found some of her important stuff still in our appartment.

 

It really upset me as I made it clear I need everything out to allow me to move on with my life. Well she has not respected my wish and once I returned from my holiday I started to receive txt messages and IMs asking how I was doing, how my holiday was etc. I decided NC was the best thing for me. This was fine until just the other day when I received any email saying I know you don't want to talk to me but I need my stuff back and when she could come by and get the things back. It is not that I dont want to give her things back it is just that I cant see her right not as I know it will be very hard for me.

 

If you count the holidays which I dont. My NC started in early Jan it has been 37 days with NC and I need more time I have not responded to her email but I am no 100% certain but fairly sure she has moved on if not even moved in with another guy. Talk about moving fast ! It is had enough as it is but I need more time with NC.

 

What can I do I don't want her to think I am trying to keep her stuff b/c im not I just can't see her or her friend right now.

 

Should I respond to her email and tell her that I don't think I should she her and that she needs to respect my request when I made it clear she should move it all. Why would you leave things behind she knew how hard it if for me as I told her I cannot be surrounded by pictures of us and your stuff.

 

I am also a bit upset because I told her when she was done moving to leave the key in the apartment and when I came back from holidays it was not there so I assume she still has it.

 

How unrespectful can a person be to think I would be OK with all of this, I did not want to end our relationship she did. I just took it to the point that you need to move your stuff and she agreed. I feel she should wait until I am ready to return her things basically ready to see her without getting emotionally worked up and upset that are not longer together. Its even harder b/c as I said I think she has moved on and living with another guy.

 

Any ideas on what I can do?

 

P

 

If she has moved on and you just want to be done with her, then pack her stuff up in a box and give it to a mutual friend to give to her. That was you don't break NC.

[coasting]

If she has moved on and you really do not want to break the NC with her, then if is small enough to fit in a box, get it all together, put it in a box and mail it to her with letter. If is large items, make an arrangement where there is a friend of yours at your apartment on a certain day, have her come by with a friend and pick the stuff up. You will not have to see her just put everything together at the door and have your friend there and you be in another room. After that do as I did change the locks on your doors!