WWDDFD Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 I met a girl online about a month ago; she contacted me through an online dating site (okcupid.com), and said that I seemed really interesting, told me a bunch about herself, and asked me some things about me. She sounded really interesting herself, and we have a high match percentage, so I figured I'd see where this goes. I responded and told her a bunch of stuff about myself, and this continued for the next few weeks, going back and forth over e-mail. She wanted to talk on AIM, because it's easier to get a discussion going, but I don't have internet access outside of work, and they block AIM here at work, so I couldn't do that. So anyway, we went back and forth, each mail being bigger and bigger and more personal, but her last e-mail was two weeks ago, she somehow forgot that I don't have internet access outside of work and suggested that we talk on AIM again. she said: If you want to chat, try me on AIM at the screen name (REMOVED), it's a better bet than waiting around for e-mails. I really am not usually this scattered, life has just been crazy latley. Hope to hear from you soon. So I responded that I understood, my life's been a little crazy too, it's no problem, but I don't have internet access outside of work, but I'm thinking of getting it soon, and that I was interested in knowing more about her in the meantime. So it's been two weeks and no reply, and I'm clueless about what to do. I thought things were going well and I was getting really excited, but now I feel like a complete loser. I know she's been online, the dating site says she's logged in almost every day, so I really don't know what to think. I've got several lines of thought going on: 1) Just give up and forget about it. 2) send some snarky sarcastic response back saying something like "Or you could just ignore me, instead.", and then never talk to her again. 3) Send a dignified response asking if she got my last e-mail. I alternate between all three, and I really don't know what to do. I'm so damn sick of being far more into people than they are into me (in my life, not a single person I've ever met has even been anywhere as into me as I was into them, and it's really beginning to make me feel like a loser).
Outcast Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 Choose option 3. What with recent viruses, different email programs have had problems.
Author WWDDFD Posted February 8, 2006 Author Posted February 8, 2006 I don't know; she uses webmail, so there's really a tiny chance that she has a virus or anything. I think I'm just going to give up and forget about it. Every single time I've ever tried to pursue a relationship in the past it's always turned into a complete disaster, and I know this will probably end up going that way too if I try to pursue it.
Ericka Jill Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Why not send her a short e-mail (option 3)? Chances are that she may have connected with someone else by now, but what can it hurt? As for all of life, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Lonestar Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 okay here's the deal from someone who has used online dating sites. Remember that she is a woman on there, and females get tons and tons of emails. She asked to move past the email stage onto chatting and you were unable to do that. Did you instead ask to talk on the phone? If not, you should have. If you're not going to find a way to chat with her, some other guy will. There's only so long that someone who really wants to meet someone is going to waste on emails. Most likely she got bored and moved on to the next guy on the site. Even more likely is that she was chatting with several different men at the same time and one moved a little faster than you did. If she was interested in still talking to you, she would keep in touch, but keep this in mind. Some women get so many responses that it's practically impossible to keep up with them. As you can see she forgot that you didn't have the ability to chat online. That should show you right there that she's juggling meeting many men on the site, especially if she's new on there. Send her an email and tell her you'd like to talk on the phone. Tell her that you'd rather chat live than email any further and ask her when is a good time to call. If she appears to blow you off then wait a couple weeks and drop another email just saying hello. Most people on those sites don't keep in touch for longer than a few days and many never get further than a first phone call. Give it time and let the surge of emails she's probably getting die off.
Author WWDDFD Posted February 10, 2006 Author Posted February 10, 2006 I gave in and sent an email containing just a question mark. "?" I really had no idea what to say (I am speechless a lot; I'm not a big or smooth talker), but I guess it reminded her, because she sent me a mail that night saying basically she gave me an e-mail address that she doesn't check too often, and she must have opened my e-mail and forgotten about it because she's so busy with grad school and a full time job, so she gave me her real email address, apologized for taking so long to replay, and promised that I'll get a more prompt response from now on. I guess that's good, but I'm nervous. I have a cell phone, but I'm not comfortable talking to people in person this soon (the last person I went out with, we talked on the phone for 6 months before we even met in person) I don't know what to do, blah.
Author WWDDFD Posted February 10, 2006 Author Posted February 10, 2006 Ok I gave in and gave her my phone number. Ah, not to worry, I remember exactly what that used to be like. Back when I was writing my books, I was also working part time at JCPenneys *AND* going to school full time all at the same time. Unfortunately this was a bad week for me; I got two flat tires and found out that my front axle needed replacing, so that set me back a fair amount. I'm going to have to put off getting internet access for at least a month while I sort out the financials (*sigh*). However, if you would like to chat, my cell phone number is <REMOVED> Then I wrote some more other stuff and finished off saying "Take care and hope to hear from you soon". Good?
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