Greg12 Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 hi my name is Greg I have decided to put my story forth, here. It is probably just bitter, and not sweet, different to most stories here ;-) The thing is that about 3 years ago, I met a girl and we became a couple(very much in love). Soon afterwards(2 months), she became pregnant. Ok, that was wonderful, and no surprise at all!! At that moment we both were ready for commitment. Both 27 years old at the time. I had never been ready for commitment, until then, and she was definitely worth the try, and it was mutual. Soon after she became pregnant, she had morning sickness, pretty bad one, and the relationship, just halted. We didnt live together at that time, put were planning it. That plan halted too. She lived at that time, temporarily at her parents home, after recently graduating from university, and was working. She felt better and we took up the thread in the relationship were we left it. We were happy again. 2 weeks later, she went to ultra-sound imaging of the belly. The baby had lung defect and 70-80% change of survival. Relationship halted. Weeks passed by. We went close again. 4 months before pregnancy, she developed gestational diabetes, and some other complications, that were not helping the baby. Relationship halted. She had the baby(boy, today he is 2 years old). The birth was hard on her, she lost a lot of blood, infections, but the baby seemed fine for the first days, and we grew closer. Then after few days, the doctors found out, he had not just the lung defect, but also a heart defect. The relationship halted. The first year in his life he had 2 big operations, and had a lot of care from his mother. At the same time this all happended i was seeing my father for the first time, for 17 years. yes, since i was 11 years old(they divorced when i was 6) He probably had his reasons, and had a new family. I met him and we became good friends and saw each other a few times, but soon after that the birth of my son, he developed a lung disease, and he couldnt see my son, because they were both always at the hospital. He got worse, and passed away. At the same time i was breaking up with my girlfriend(my son was 7months old). What i am saying is that in one year, i got my father and lost my father, i got my love and lost it, i got my son, and see him occasionally today. Only God knows how much i miss him. I am not complaining, and am moving forward, but how hard it is to form a relationship with another girl today. At some time during this time, i didnt feel any control in my life, even when i was driving a car, 2 times, i had to go and park the car because i felt i was loosing control of the car(how weird is that,i am over that today). Does anyone have any advice to tackle some of these issues, before u move into a new relationship, just maybe a talking ground?! i had commitment issues before, and as you might suggest still have. I just cant forget about the mother of my son, and think i am leting my son down, if i dont try to make the relationship work. But i have broken myself so many times down, and let her just walk over me again, and again, but i can not complain about it!!!!!! arrrgghhhh thanks for reading this, hope i didnt sound too depressing ;-) thanks, Greg
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