starr3546 Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 Ok so my x has recently been contacting me. We have gone out for coffee, and talked on the phone, and over the computer a few times. He seems to say things that make me think maybe he is trying to come back into my life. He broke up with me out of no where and complerely broke my heart. I called him on new year's and told him i loved and missed him, i was a complete mess, and just broke down...that was the only time we have talked since we broke up halloween weekend. So today i am talking to him on instant messenger, and he is asking me about the website myspace, because i am on there to stay in touch with friends, and also because he recently put up a page. Well anyway, he asked me if i had ever gone on a date with someone fromthere, i told him no. Then i asked if he would ever consider online dating. He goes well that is why i asked you what you thought about it, because i am considering it! I was like what the ****...so i told him, that i didn't want to talk about dating, i was like i am sorry but it is hard for me, cause i still care about you so much, i don't wanna know what you are doing with other girls. I was like keep me in the dark, i don't want to think about you wanting to be with other girls. then he goes i thought you were ok with us talking again. I was like i am, but i don't wanna know about you with girls.....i i mean what is that anyway!!!! I was like you know i enjoy talking to you, we have everything in common and i have so much fun talking to you! He was like me too...i wouldn't talk ot you if i didn't!!!! Seriously though, does he think we can just be friends!!! What should i do, and what does everyone think his actions are meaning...i am lost! help...
WindDrifter Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 Starr sorry to say this but you haven't moved on yet. You don't seem to have accepted the fact that he doesn't want to be with you and he doesn't want you. Sorry to be cruel but the only way you will move on is to do the following: 1. Implement No Contact 2. Block him on IM 3. Rename his number on your mobile to DO NOT ANSWER! 4. Do not reply to emails, text or IM. 5. Remove all photos, letters or any texts. Get rid of anything that reminds you of him. This includes removing stuff off myspace. You need to tell him you want him to respect your wishes for him to never contact you again until you contact him , if you feel you can or want to. It doesn't feel to me you have done what is neccesary to move on. He had stated already above that "Whats the problem with being friends?" Well the problem is you are not ready and may never be. You need to accept that he doesn't love you the way you want to be loved and may never. The best thing you can do for yourself is to admit it is over and begin the healing. Focus on yourself and be selfish. Every time you have a thought ohh he might really still care remember that he is showing you by his actions that he doesn't want to be with you and in this case is also telling you. Good Luck it won't be easy but talk to your friends that is what they are their for! Cheers, WD
Author starr3546 Posted February 6, 2006 Author Posted February 6, 2006 i was moving on sooo well, i have been dating, was with someone else for a month b4 this all stated happening. I am still talking with this man. The problem is, that he says things that are like, ok so you might still want to be with me. He doesn't have friends that are girls, he says that there is no way to be friends with girls because one always likes the other more! so what is that all about! Then when we went out for coffee, he kept calling out get together a date, and was saying things like, there aren't many amazing girls in the world, and when you find one that is you need to keep him close.....seriously y would he say those things to me, if he wanted to just be friends!!!
WindDrifter Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 Look Star you can make up all the excuses in the world for him. If you really want to know lay down the law to him. Tell him what you want and how you want it to happen. If he isn't happy with that then he can F off! Because all you are doing is hurting yourself and as much as he says these things he obviously isn't acting in the same way. Talk is cheap. Action speaks a 1000 words. If you really want to know ask him! Then you can decide what you want but it sounds like he is just wanting to keep you on a string until he wants you and thats no right. No to you or anyone. Cheers, WD
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