Alison Posted February 5, 2006 Posted February 5, 2006 Having read all of this incredible information, my question is, has anyone ever known a cakeman to change?
No Stress Lady Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 No - I've known a couple - they will always stay with their wives and compartmentalise. The ones I've been involved with were lovely guys - I always stated from outset though that I did not want any commitment from them and that they certainly shouldn't expect it from me - our relationships were based on mutual enjoyment of each others company but without any impact on the marriage. I have certainly learnt a whole lot more from Veronese's excellent posts though and have to say that I would certainly think harder about that type of situation in the future - but in conclusion, and in my opinion, no they don't change!!!
bluechocolate Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 And a cakeman is what exactly? A married man having an affair?
Allegrokw Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 Thanks for your post. I guess I am looking for an answer that I want to hear, but realize that it isn't going to be there. So much for my hopes and dreams, they are false. Thank you for your honesty. And all of the support that I have received here.
Sami_D Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 Well, the definition of a 'cakeman' is that he wants it ALL. He's not one to make a decision between the two (or more) women in his life. What would make him change..? A change of personality? Finding out that love really exists? Finding out he is capable of love, rather than take-take-taking..? If your MM really is what they call 'a cakeman'... then probably he wouldn't change. But on what are you basing this?
Allegrokw Posted February 9, 2006 Posted February 9, 2006 I guess that I am basing it on everything that I have read. Although my ex MM is not exactly a fit, he is pretty close. I don't want to have any false hopes, though he tells me that he is still very much on the fence. Can't really see himself divorcing a 40 year marriage, but can't see himself living that life anymore. I have remained NC as much as is humanly possible, but slip from time to time. I feel weak and vulnerable when I do. Wish that I could just walk out permanantly without regrets. But thats another story.
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