konfuzd Posted February 5, 2006 Posted February 5, 2006 Ok, well I had 2 fantastic dates this week with 2 guys who are complete polar opposites, and I really don't know which to pursue..... needing some advice. Guy #1- Have a small history with... A series of co-incidental happenings brought us together back in Sept/Oct. We went out on about 4 or 5 dates (all of which were outstanding-no sex), then some personal issues in his life led him to pretty much leave me stranded by the wayside for a couple months. We had a great conversation recently, and I now understand his reasons for distancing himself from a new relationship, but I still think the way he went about it was cowardly and makes me wonder about how he would deal with any future issues. We went out on Tuesday night to see one of our mutually favorite bands, had an amazing time, one of the best nights of my life. We have a ton of common interests, our senses of humor are very matched up and we laughed the entire night. I'm very physically attracted to him, and think we could have a really fun, lighthearted relationship. Guy #2- Met at a local pub a couple weeks ago. I was acting as DD for my friends who were all drunk and socializing with the entire bar, and pretty much left me sitting alone. This really sweet guy came and sat with me, and we had a great conversation. I'm not really physically attracted to him, but it was really nice to have an intelligent conversation with someone who really listened to what I said, especially meeting in a bar, so I gave him my number at the end of the night. He called me, and we went out on Friday night. We have some common interests, and he's an absolute gentleman, completely focussed on taking care of me, and was a very traditional date. (Something I'm totally not used to, but thouroughly enjoyed ) He seems the type to take things very seriously, and I think a relationship with him would be a very loving and respectful one. I'm really torn as to what is best for me at this point in my life. I plan on going out a few more times with each guy to kind of test the waters, but am curious to know any opinions on which way I should maybe lean, or focus on. Any advice is appriciated.
neek Posted February 5, 2006 Posted February 5, 2006 Well it sounds like you have had a great time with each, which is good! I agree that you should go out with each of them again and see where things lead. Now, you didn't mention any specifics so it is hard to know what you think qualifies as "cowardly", and you very well may be right on this, no one can tell from what you wrote. But remember that guys are sometimes afraid of their feelings and run away from them (not trying to be harsh on you guys but sometimes it is true! it is for my fiance so he wont just come out with things unless i start the discussion (in a non-intimidating way)). But if he is really going through a hard time then I would try to be as understanding as possible and don't hold it against him. Find out more about him first, get to know him better...and have fun in the process!!!
FireReady Posted February 5, 2006 Posted February 5, 2006 Even thought you had a great time with #2, did you feel any chemistry? Physical attraction? B/c long term if you're not feeling it, you won't. And guy #1, lik you said, has issues to deal with.... so maybe neither? Or go with both until you feel that one outweighs the other. Seeing as you haven't commited to either, why not? And if you want some other ideas, I recommend you try girls talk about it all.com.
Author konfuzd Posted February 5, 2006 Author Posted February 5, 2006 Guy #1- The "cowardness" was in that he kept me at arm's length all the time, kept asking if I was interested in getting together, making plans and then just standing me up. Only when I told him I'd had enough and wouldn't put up with it any longer did he come out with the truth. Granted, I've only gone out with him a few times, so all I really needed to hear was "something came up" BEFORE the date, not after. I don't expect him to pour his heart out to someone he's just met, but do expect some respect. Although his actions were rude, I don't feel it a big enough issue to cast him aside. Guy #2- I can't say I was physically attracted to him, but also not repulsed by him. I was very comfortable with him. I am very attracted to him mentally and emotionally. He is a very caring and giving person, who I feel I could really trust and also have a good time with. I guess my biggest struggle is that I can see a very good and fulfilling relationship with both guys, but from different angles.
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