delish_22 Posted February 5, 2006 Posted February 5, 2006 So here's my story... Last May I started seeing the guy I had my eye on for 3 years. We were great friends throughout that time but he had a gf so nothing was going to come of us. They broke up through the winter and I came into play a few months later. We were so in love. We were so very happy, it was like it was just meant to be. He told me he had feelings for me the whole time as I had him. He ended up ay my place most of the time and then we got a place in November. He went away for work for 6 weeks though at the begin of Oct. during that time there was one night where i went out, i ended up doing drugs and hooking up with a girl in a bathroom stall and calling him. He ended up waking up the day of a hurricane to hear a message of me and the girl. He was needless to say quite upset. He thought he should get a 3some out of it atleast. I am not really into girls, i was ****ed up it happened, has happened once before (just making out) but I initially said i would and then later in time took it back because (1. girls arent my thing and 2. i dont want to make the mistake of bringing someone into the relationship). So yeah he comes home and we have a new place and are trying to be happy. I worked off and on only for the past 4 months so he has supported me a lot. I do mean a lot. I try and take care of him the best I can but i think i am just living up to standards. My confidence level has dropped a lot, he throws in my face everyday about the money i owe him (I have a great job now and have for a month but its taken this long to get all the payroll processed, cant wait for the 8th!!). I hate owing him money. I hate that he gets to say i need him and he doesnt need me. I want him to need me because he loves me. So lets see, say end November we got in a fight, he hit me in the back of the head, week later got in a fight after d-town and he threw around some abuse, screaming grabbed me by the throat. Since then when he gets mad now he lets his temper out more and more. He doesnt really hurt me-i know a lot of people have it a lot worse but still it is an issue nonetheless. So now we are living together, stressed with dealing with cheating (me), financial burden (me), abuse (him) and we have loed each other like crazy and know we want to show it again. I am just afraid that once you've gone this far you've crossed the line and I don't know if it realistically can ever go back to the way it was, now that all this is in play too. Am I being nuts for wanting to love the guy I thought I would spend my life with? I can be a crazy girl at times and he can be an a**h*** alpha male.. I just want to feel like theres hope. Any thoughts?
bluechocolate Posted February 5, 2006 Posted February 5, 2006 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t81241/
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