Change your life for me... ?

[Outcast]

i think it is fair enough to not want meat in your house on the grounds of it being disgusting

 

Fine then don't date meat-eaters. I loathe smoking and will never date a smoker. If a fellow wishes to quit smoking in order to be with me (and two did), it's entirely his option but I would not insist or force someone to change. I just would not date him.

 

i find wrestling repulsive, so i don't date a wrestler...and i wouldn't live with a wrestlet under the agreement that he could wrestle when i don't know about it. i just wouldn't bother

 

Me, too

 

Now I don't like seafood much but I'd take on a seafood-eater and even make the stuff for him; but that's because I have neither moral or health objections to seafood, I just don't like the stuff.

 

My stepmom was a vegetarian and my dad took up the lifestyle willingly but he'd also have the occasional burger or steak when he was out with her and she'd keep her trap shut about it

[newbby]

theres a difference between dating a smoker and allowing smoking in your house. it isnt really about disliking a food. personally i find the whole idea of meat in the house disgusting. i feel that things are contaminated and that it is a health risk. although it is partly a moral issue for me, i dont expect others to agree. i have no objections to being with a meat eater, but, i still would not like meat in my house. i might compromise by allowing it in my house, but in a different fridge, with different cooking and eating equipment. i think not dating someone on the grounds that they eat meat is a bit extreme.

[whichwayisup]

whichwayisup: That's what I was thinking too. If he just eats it when he goes out with his friends and whatever, but doesn't keep it in the house. It's sort of a compromise, I guess.

 

I think that is a good compromise, or even if he eats in the house, just not around you.

 

You still both really need to sit and talk it out. It's one thing now, to do these little changes, but at some point in the future - What if you have children? Are you going to bring them up not eating meat?

 

Anyway, talk this out, understand his choice, his feelings on this too. Living together is compromise, understanding and respecting eachother.

 

Good luck and keep posting!

[I Luv the Chariot OH]

It's really sad to see how many people would give up a wonderful relationship over an issue like this.

 

Touche: the porn issue is very old and very resolved, and we're much better as a couple for it.

 

TC: he loves animals, and we generally have the same morals beliefs, as I beleive every animal-lover does; it's not right to kill animals inhumanely (the only issue we don't agree on is whether they should be killed at all). He knows the right thing to do is not support the industries that treat animals so cruelly. But as someone who grew up eating so much meat, and someone who very often goes out to bars with friends where the only food ordered is wings, he thinks the change to not eat meat at all is very drastic. And I understand this. I don't expect it to all happen in a day, or even a year.

 

newbby: I think smoking in the house is quite the same thing--if not worse. A lot of people absolutely don't allow anybody to smoke in the house (my mom makes my dad go in the garage to smoke).

 

whichwayisup: Ideally, I hope to never have children. But if in theory it happened, he concedes that we would raise them vegetarian, since that's generally the healthiest diet one can have.

[beatlebob]

Ask him to get his steak cravings from restaurants or overlook his meals, even if it means you leaving the kitchen. Maybe there's something you do that he finds objectionable and wants to change, ever ask? It's only fair.

[Touche]

Getting back to Chariot for a minute, (as the other issue is a waste of time), you say that you don't expect him to change overnight or even in a year. This implies though that you DO expect him to change, do you not? And I think that's what some of us here are trying to warn you about. That expectation of yours could be a problem. And I'm saying COULD...not saying it WILL but it's something to watch for. If it's not completely something he agrees with - if it's not something he changes because he REALLY wants to, it WILL backfire. It will cause a problem down the line. I can almost guarantee it.

 

And beatlebob has a good point. Just curious, but have you changed anything for him? Doesn't matter whether it's of a moral nature or not...have you?

[Touche]

Well perhaps we should all forget all the other nonsense and concentrate on what most of us seem to agree on here - and that is the fact that if you try to change someone you are setting yourself up for disappointment and it's generally a recipe for disaster down the road.

 

I mean I think MOST of us can agree on that much. And hopefully that will give the OP something to think about and reflect on.

 

As for the rest we ought to just drop it. It's not of any help to the OP at all. It's pointless.

[I Luv the Chariot OH]

Touche, I phrased that badly. I hope he will change. If he doesn't, I know I'll be able to live with it, but I guess I'd be a lot happier if he did.

 

Outcast (or, I think I'll call you "the O.C." because that's funnier), he's not a "fixer-upper" project. Nobody is perfect, and I don't expect him to be (though he's pretty close). I'm not asking him to change as a person. Changing his diet so that he is healthier is, if anything, beneficial to himself.

[Touche]

Chariot, the fact that you can STILL accept him if he doesn't change his diet, is important. Be prepared to accept that fact then. I really hope it works out for both of you. (When was the last time you had a REALLY good steak though? Hmmm!) Ok, sorry about that. Couldn't resist. Do you eat fish or chicken? Just curious.

 

That was funny about going back to how well we know people over the internet. It was/is an interesting debate. We only "know" people by what they show us, whether it be genuine or not. But that applies in real life too, doesn't it?

[I Luv the Chariot OH]

Chariot' date=' the fact that you can STILL accept him if he doesn't change his diet, is important. Be prepared to accept that fact then. I really hope it works out for both of you. (When was the last time you had a REALLY good steak though? Hmmm!) Ok, sorry about that. Couldn't resist. Do you eat fish or chicken? Just curious.[/quote']

About a year and a half, actually. And I don't miss it! And no, no chicken or fish either. They're living creatures that can feel pain! (Although the validity of that is being speculated upon for some crustaceans.)

 

That was funny about going back to how well we know people over the internet. It was/is an interesting debate. We only "know" people by what they show us' date=' whether it be genuine or not. But that applies in real life too, doesn't it?[/quote']

That's absolutely true, I'm glad you mentioned it. It doesn't matter if you know someone through words or sight, or online or in "rl;" it only matters what they choose to convey to you, not how.

[Touche]

Yes, I agree with you. And I choose to take people at face value. Maybe that's naive or dumb but that's the way I choose to live. Until someone shows me otherwise, that's the way I deal with people whether it's on line or in person. Doesn't matter to me. Very little difference. Interesting to me that some people don't see it that way.

 

Ok, as far as the meat thing. Interesting views on that. Yes, I've heard for example that lobsters don't feel pain. Their brains are too primitive. So would you eat a lobster if you were convinced that it wouldn't feel pain when you drop it in the pot of boiling water? But I've also heard that plants feel pain when they're "picked." So how do you know that say, spinach doesn't scream and feel pain when you pluck it out of the ground? I've heard that they actually do.

[I Luv the Chariot OH]

There's pretty definitive evidence that plants don't feel pain--they are not sentient, thinking creatures; they have no brains, and no nervous systems, so they have no way to synthesize pain, or even the concept of pain.

 

As for lobsters, studies seem to flip-flop on the issue every so often, but if they can make a definite statement that lobsters feel no pain, I'd have no problem eating a lobster.