smile95 Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 Well, I am 8 wks of NC and I usually about now run back or answer his calls. Luckily he is not calling. Somehow, I am not running back. I hurt so much now. I think bcz I have never pushed thru this stage and ususally go back to him....so maybe it is a good sign that I am hurting???? as weird as that sounds? Maybe I am entering a new stage that I never hit before and I need to push thru to get to the light at the end of the tunnel? any thoughts?
Fallen_Angel Posted February 5, 2006 Posted February 5, 2006 Hey there Beth!! You know, I haven't logged on here in almost two months. It got to a point where being on here all the time made me want to contact my ex, even though I knew better. I called him about 6 weeks ago. I saw it on my cell phone bill last week and cringed. I thought I was doing so well. Right before Christmas I saw his best friend was online, so I left a message saying I hoped he was doing well and to tell my ex I said hello, since he doesn't bother to speak to me. Probably wasn't a good idea, but oh well. It'll get easier. I still have moments where I am overwhelmed by pain, but I push through. I still cry. But the important thing is to keep pushing. Be aware of your feelings, and let them out...but remember that he is the past, and you have better things to do than to let him dampen your present or your future.
Author smile95 Posted February 5, 2006 Author Posted February 5, 2006 hey..i have been away from here a while too. Stopping in here and there. It really does make you think of them more...did the ex reply or call you?
Fallen_Angel Posted February 5, 2006 Posted February 5, 2006 Nope. The last time we spoke was in mid-September, I believe. Since then I've been the one trying to create contact: the occasional e-mail, phone call, etc. But it's not worth it. He obviously doesn't want to speak to me, and he so obviously LIED about wanting to stay in contact with me. For all I know, he's choosing to avoid me because he feels guilty about hurting me. He SHOULD! (Can you tell I like this theory? Hehe.) Throughout our relationship he often told me I was one of the kindest people he'd ever known, and he hated to see me cry. I'm sure he thinks he'll make things worse by contacting me. It's HIS loss. Repeat those three words once in a while - it's powerful stuff.
Author smile95 Posted February 5, 2006 Author Posted February 5, 2006 well the last time we spoke, my gram died and he said "call me anytime-i love you"..i called him 3 times in one week bcz I needed support and he never called me back...so I know that he thinks I am done. Iam sure i will never hear from him again. oh well. If I were to call him, he would act like nothing happend and he loves me and blah blah the cycle starts over...I am doing my best to not start the cycle over again......it is tough. I feel like a smoking addict with the cigarette right in front of me...i know now though that the love and sweetness will fade in a week or so, so i need to stick with NC. Not sure why he is not calling(this is the longest we have gone). Mine also said he hated to see me cry. He prob is waiting for me to call and then he knws all is ok and I forget why i was mad...not this time!
bendit Posted February 5, 2006 Posted February 5, 2006 smile i see some improvement here but also the recognition by you that you're in NC mostly because he hasn't called you yet. I am sorry to say to you that if he did call (and be honest you would return it or answer it) you would pretty much go back to square one. Here's my hoped for case with you. I hope you can make it another month or two. By that time I hope you have the insight and healing behind you to know that he is absolute poison to your life and any contact will keep you mired in a place where true happiness cant' be found. If you do gain that insight, you will take every imaginable step you can to PREVENT him from contacting you because you will want to protect Yourself in the way a mother does for her children. Continued good luck. I hope that he continues to cooperate with your healing! regards
In Sync Posted February 5, 2006 Posted February 5, 2006 You've come so far with doing NC. Be proud of yourself. Lately I've been pondering a question to all who've practice NC. After coming so far, even if your ex ever did contact you again...would you really go back to him/or her? Can you go back to someone who's hurt you, knowing what you do now, since maintaining NC? To me the whole process of NC tore down any hopes or aspirations of maintaining the thought of my ex remaining my friend. After 12 weeks, I realize if NC was broken, I could care less for him being my friend much less being the love in my life. So why waste time reflecting on their empty words and promises the ex's made in the past...
Fallen_Angel Posted February 5, 2006 Posted February 5, 2006 You have made it pretty far, Beth. And remember, we're all in this together. I can't recall if I had mentioned this in another post or not, but some time ago I came to the realization that I was under the impression that NC would be "easy." Ha. Yes, easier than staying in contact and constantly torturing yourself! But otherwise, it's still a constant battle but it's a battle where the eventual victor will be YOU!! In Sync is right...and you know what, to heck with all the promises of being "friends." What would you do if you had a female friend who caused you this kind of pain? I'd guess you'd show her what's what REEEEAL quick. Your time, your energy and your friendship are all valuable things...and they are things that @$$clown does not deserve.
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