I don't know why i go online and i meet a person then i am in the spot i in now.

[confused me]

hello guys and girl. i need you advise . i met a person on internet. that i enjoy talken to. we are couple kind. we never met. the problem is that he think i am single. which he knows everything about me. but the married part. but i develop feelings for him to. my marriage i don't what say about that. i love my husband. but we been together since we were 19yrs old. we have to kids. i don't know why i go online and i meet a person then i am in the spot i in now. yes my husband knows i talk to him on the internet. so i know i am wrong in sum way.

[confused me]

hello people, i am confused in why i am doing this. i am a woman who is married and has two kids. i found my self talk to this guy on the internet. who i enjoy talk to. but now we both has develop feelings for each other.i cared for the guy.but i do love my husband.dose my husband know i talk to him online. yes. but one thing the guy online know everything about me but not that i am married. he knows what i look like yes. my husband and be together since we were 19yrs old. so what i am getting at is why do i do this

am i looking for attention.

[Sal Paradise]

Most people would consider what you're doing to be emotional cheating (which is as bad and in some ways worse than physical cheating).

 

I think you need to be completely honest with your husband and cut off all contact with the OM. If you don't then you really don't love your husband.

 

Its as simple as that.

[Curmudgeon]

Hear! Hear! I completely agree.

[whichwayisup]

Please read OWL's thread. This might shed some light into your situation, from the BS (Betrayed spouse) side. Plus, the advice given on his thread could help you as well. And hopefully the pain he's gone through might stop you from pursuing this online guy.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t49539/

 

You only talk to this man online. You've never met in person, right? So, remember this...You haven't told him that you're married...DO you trust this man? I mean, you've not been completely upfront with him to begin with, so don't you think it's atleast a possibility that he hasn't been 100% honest with you? Please give that some thought...

 

Also, you really don't know this man. Online there may be a connection and he may bring out feelings in you, but those feelings are based on fantasy... Seeing as you two haven't met face to face, you don't know WHO he is in real life. You don't know his daily dynamtic. You don't know how he is with his friends and family, nor do you know his moods, how he handles things, does he get angry alot, is he loving and giving? Does he have problems that affect him personally? Do you know if he has an anger problem? Is he a hardworker, reliable? Fun? Sad? Depressed? SOme of this stuff isn't projected online...Only a face to face meeting would answer most of these things.

 

All that you feel is based on fantasy, your hopes of him being someone that more than likely he isn't. As i mentioned earlier too, you've not told him that you are married. Why?

[whichwayisup]

Another thing...

 

What about your children? Have you thought about them during this online fling? The count in this equation. IF you are thinking of ending your marriage to be with a man who you've never actually "met", you better be prepared to give those kids up as your husband will NOT be allowing them to move with you.

 

Not saying that you're planning on leaving, but you are putting yourself in a situation where the temptation is there and possible.

 

You have been with your husband since you were 19 years old, how old are you now? How long have you been married?

 

GO to marriage counselling. Work on your marriage, capture the feelings again with your husband. Somehow this other guy has brought up crush like feelings in you and that is what you enjoy. IT ISN'T a relationship nor will it ever really be.

[confused me]

dear which wasis up. iam 29yr old. i don't wanna leave my husband. my husband knows i talk with this online guy. my husband only knew each other 4mths before we got married. i don't really don't wanna meet him.but i do care for him.hate to hurt this guy online feelings.don't lose him as a friend either. but i know he have's feelings for me. i don't if am doing this because i miss something in my own life. my husband and get along some time. some time he says things that hurt. like example one time "he wonder sometime if he still in love with me" or he threat that he going to leave me" or just separted live sum where else. after weres he say that he didn't mean it. that he just been stress out. it make me think some time . you know.

[Presario]

but i do care for him

 

Do you care for him as for a brother? Or do you care for his as a lover? From what you wrote it seems that you care about him as a lover.

 

Do you tell that guy some intimate details? Do you tell him things you don't like in your husband?

[incognito]

I met my ex online (not at a dating site!) and we dated for 2 yrs...and yes, we met in person many times.....and I just found out recently that he's married. It was devastating. At least tell the guy the truth. And if you want to be w/ your husband still....don't get involved w/ this guy...you're only going to get further emotionally involved.

[whichwayisup]

dear which wasis up. iam 29yr old. i don't wanna leave my husband. my husband knows i talk with this online guy. my husband only knew each other 4mths before we got married. i don't really don't wanna meet him.but i do care for him.hate to hurt this guy online feelings.don't lose him as a friend either. but i know he have's feelings for me. i don't if am doing this because i miss something in my own life. my husband and get along some time. some time he says things that hurt. like example one time "he wonder sometime if he still in love with me" or he threat that he going to leave me" or just separted live sum where else. after weres he say that he didn't mean it. that he just been stress out. it make me think some time . you know.

I understand you don't want to hurt his feelings, but your husband's feelings come first. And this other man, he is a GROWN man, so he can handle some rejection, especially because you are married. IF he was 'just' a friend, then he should wish you the best in your marriage (I still don't know why you didn't mention to him that you were married...That kinda leads him to believe that you were single...)and BE a friend to you, not in a romantic way.

 

As for your husband, you two need to go to marriage counselling and sort out what is wrong. Tell your husband how you feel, tell him he isn't meeting your needs. If you love him and want the marriage to work, you have to open up and talk to him.

 

Keep posting!

[Presario]

How does your husband take your internet friendship? Is he gloomy? Can he sleep well?

 

Nearly a year ago my wife would develop internet friendships. There are a lot of details to this long story, but to make it short: it bothered me so much that I was gloomy, and my sleeping was bad. I still remember that.

 

Your husband will remember your friendship very well even in a few years.