lilmoma1973 Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 Hey all just wanted to give an update as to what happened in counseling.. It is was a pretty productive session, of course i cryed and told my h how i was feeling!! My h said he read my post in LS and knew i was going to leave and use the tax money.. That isn't what i said ,all of you suggest that i get me another account, incase things don't work out.. The only thing i said was i had the tax money if i needed any!! I told the counselor i was tired of trying and h wasn't giving an effort to make things work.. He brought up LS and how it was telling me to leave and that isn't true.. I think LS has been a lifesaver to me and am glad i found it!! I told h is where i go to talk when noone will listen .. H made it all my fault why my daughter was this way and said his anger is my fault.. Then i said i wanted out of the relationship cause i see it not ever working and he isn't going to make it work..Counselor said wow,never expected that . Then he brought up i never will forget the cheating.. Then i lost it and said i can forgive but i will never forget how he hurt my trust and heart and went back to that trashy wh@@@ .. I lost my self esteem because of the cheating and my chest broke out in hives and nerves was really tore up .. I guess he made me feel like **** by going back to her.. She is ugly and im not and she had many many many partners !! He jepordized anything we had and still trying to build it back up.. I told him i didn't see it working out!! H already thought he was going to be blame for it all.. H told counselor ,H said "I love my wife and family and don't want to lose them"!! We got to back in 2 weeks and our homework is not to argue for that 2 weeks and come there for all that we need to discuss so i will probably will be coming here to make alot of posts about things going on..
FataMorgana Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 oh darl, it sounds like you had quite a day. keep venting, we are listening, let it all out if it will make you feel better. hugs coming your way, so sorry to hear all the trouble you are going through.... well, counseling is good, at least it helps getting what bothers you out in the open and starts some much needed communication
FataMorgana Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 how long ago was the cheating? sorry if you already shared the story I have not heard it.
a4a Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 That is great LM...... big huge first step You vent all you need to. I think it is funny that your H is kinda "jealous" over your LS friends. I don't think one person has told you to pack your stuff and run. Just to take control of your life. Having back up money is not running away. It is called being smart! More so if your H is not being responsible with your families money. Your H is going to have to admit that you are hurting and your family is in need of repair and healing. He will have to admit that he is also to blame, not for all of it but a good part of it. I think it would be a lot easier for you to really forgive his cheating if he was treating you with RESPECT. Really is that not a huge thing that you need? a4a-tater master
Author lilmoma1973 Posted February 4, 2006 Author Posted February 4, 2006 Thanks for all the advice and support of my fellow LSer's because without you all i don't know what i would have done!! I have forgiven him for the cheating but my heart will never forget the hurt and how he made me feel .. H also stated he wish i would cheat so it would be even.. I don't think that would make it any better cause two wrongs don't make a right.. Then he said he didn't think he could handle that ,and said that wouldn't make things better.. I have been cheated on before but with my h is different cause i didn't love the ones that cheated!! I think when my other bf it was lust not love..
Author lilmoma1973 Posted February 4, 2006 Author Posted February 4, 2006 That is great LM...... big huge first step You vent all you need to. I think it is funny that your H is kinda "jealous" over your LS friends. I don't think one person has told you to pack your stuff and run. Just to take control of your life. Having back up money is not running away. It is called being smart! More so if your H is not being responsible with your families money. Your H is going to have to admit that you are hurting and your family is in need of repair and healing. He will have to admit that he is also to blame, not for all of it but a good part of it. I think it would be a lot easier for you to really forgive his cheating if he was treating you with RESPECT. Really is that not a huge thing that you need? a4a-tater master Yes i am hurting and yes you are so right he is jealous of all my friends on here.. H is also jealous of the friends that i talk with on the phone as well !! H thinks that you all influence my thoughts of what to do .. I told him that being on here helps me to vent things that i can't say to him without him blowing up!! Yes i might be able to forget if he would give me more respect.. H did tell me that his band wasn't as important than us and he didn't want to lose me.. I didn't say anything and was silent and tears streaming.. I guess alot of damage is done and hopefully it can be repaired!! Right now im not so sure but willing to try .. Thanks a4a you have been a great help with this situation all of you all have !!
a4a Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 Yes i am hurting and yes you are so right he is jealous of all my friends on here.. H is also jealous of the friends that i talk with on the phone as well !! H thinks that you all influence my thoughts of what to do .. I told him that being on here helps me to vent things that i can't say to him without him blowing up!! Yes i might be able to forget if he would give me more respect.. H did tell me that his band wasn't as important than us and he didn't want to lose me.. I didn't say anything and was silent and tears streaming.. I guess alot of damage is done and hopefully it can be repaired!! Right now im not so sure but willing to try .. Thanks a4a you have been a great help with this situation all of you all have !! LM I think every person on LS would like to see you work this out with him. It is difficult not to take sides when a person posts and is in obvious pain. I am sure you are not perfect, not one person is. As for influencing your thougts if that was the case you probably would have shoved a tater up his a$$ after my raging post yesterday You are a strong beautiful woman (not just talking physical looks here, nor am I attempting to get in your pants ) You just need to take control of your life, control of your future. Only you can do that.... and you will. Perhaps his fear in you being influenced and controlled by others is actually what he has done to you already? From what I can gather from your posts he is in control of you...... or he was. Set a goal for yourself...... just a small one, be it setting aside money, learning a new skill, or doing a hobby. Something you will do just for YOU. You have that right. I do not see you really doing a whole lot for you besides posting on LS. Your life is about you...... You do count, you are worthwhile and you deserve to be treated with respect (as long as you give it). a4a- damn this rain, where did I park my ark?
Author lilmoma1973 Posted February 4, 2006 Author Posted February 4, 2006 LM I think every person on LS would like to see you work this out with him. It is difficult not to take sides when a person posts and is in obvious pain. I am sure you are not perfect, not one person is. As for influencing your thougts if that was the case you probably would have shoved a tater up his a$$ after my raging post yesterday You are a strong beautiful woman (not just talking physical looks here, nor am I attempting to get in your pants ) You just need to take control of your life, control of your future. Only you can do that.... and you will. Perhaps his fear in you being influenced and controlled by others is actually what he has done to you already? From what I can gather from your posts he is in control of you...... or he was. Set a goal for yourself...... just a small one, be it setting aside money, learning a new skill, or doing a hobby. Something you will do just for YOU. You have that right. I do not see you really doing a whole lot for you besides posting on LS. Your life is about you...... You do count, you are worthwhile and you deserve to be treated with respect (as long as you give it). a4a- damn this rain, where did I park my ark? Thanks a4a and don't think you want to get into my pants !! Yes and that is why i am going to counseling cause i need to see if he will stick to it and make this work.. I am not so sure he will because of the way he has been in the past!! I will give him the benefit of the doubt however.. I hope he wakes up before it is too late cause i do love him!! I just think i deserve more than he is offering me right now.. Yes i do have something i enjoy doing .. i do it everyday exercising is my hobby !! I do it everyday and enjoy it and relieves my stresses of the day .. No i don't think he should have a tator shoved up his a@@!! How are things with you today? He does think that others influence me with things they say and that isn't true .. I am my own person and i make my own decisions and yes you all said i needed counseling and i knew it as well .. I just wanted to get anothers perspective and see if it was worth trying to work it out or should i move on!!
a4a Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 got potatoe peels under my finger nails but ok...... off to go put up a retaining wall..... now that is exercise!
Author lilmoma1973 Posted February 4, 2006 Author Posted February 4, 2006 got potatoe peels under my finger nails but ok...... off to go put up a retaining wall..... now that is exercise! :lmao: So i take it you gave him the potato ?
hotgurl Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 I just found your post. I agree with a4a. Keep going to couseling but make up a back up plan money wise, It is so important to take tme yourself while working on you marriage it can be draining.
kitten chick Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 where is lil momma? I hope she didn't get sucked into that treadmill of hers.
blind_otter Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 My aunt started a joint account with my mom while she was married to my horrible ex-uncle who cheated on her who everyone in my family hates. It took her years to get away from her exH, but having that joint account with my Mom (her sister) helped her get out faster in the end. Her ex had no idea how much $$ she had saved by then... I'm sending you positive vibrations, moma.
Touche Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 She was restricted because of her last avatar...go figure!
a4a Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 She was restricted because of her last avatar...go figure! What does restricted mean? Banned? I do not recall her having a nasty avatar or did she? I thought it was a sexy cartoon character or something?? not naked or anything was it?? are you pulling my rear leg Touche?
whichwayisup Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 LilM, I feel for your pain and I want to tell you this. His cheating and how he is reacting is NOT YOUR FAULT. It seems he is looking for excuses so he won't have to take responsibility for his actions. And for how he is in general with you and your daughter. It really f**k'n sucks! Using LS as a weapon against you too is pure immaturity! He must know this place is like talking to girlfriends, who listen and offer support. NONE of has had any influence on how things are going in your marriage. He has power of that! Keep the faith, stick with counselling and sadly, just gotta ride out this rollercoaster and hope that he'll figure things out. IF by chance he decides to be a fool and walk away - Just know it will be his loss. You're a good person, remember that! You're kind, beautiful and loving. Take care of you and your daughter right now. Hugs!
Touche Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 It's like living in a communist state or something! Sheesh! I didn't see anything offensive about it. No, apparently being restricted is like a time out...banned is forever. So Lilmomma is sitting in her corner waiting to be let back on. I just don't get what was offensive about her avatar. No more offensive than so many other things on LS. Who knows? That's funny about the third leg! I always joke that hubby has a third leg (yup, wink, wink, he's big too!)
a4a Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 No wait did LS restrict her or her husband? I have a fever but not an excuse for my confusion. I would have tried to PM you touche but your box is full. Now I am skeert of the mods if they did that to LM. I never found her offensive.....unless she was doing naughty stuff quietly.
Touche Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 I'll clear out my box (that sounds very, very wrong!) but anyway, I don't know anything about her hubby being on LS...does he get on here? No, for the second time, she has been restricted just because of her avatar. Apparently someone thinks they're offensive/too suggestive.
Touche Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 I'd put at LEAST some underwear on your tater. Your naked tater is offensive and highly suggestive.
cal gal Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 I'd put at LEAST some underwear on your tater. Your naked tater is offensive and highly suggestive. :lmao: :lmao: OM that is so funny! Make it something lacy! I miss Lilmoma, and I didn't find her avatar or anything about her words to be offensive.... I know they won't let me PM right now - don't know why, but was trying to send tudor something and it continued to ask for my password - even after I had signed in. HHHHHMMMMMMMMMM... What to do?????
a4a Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 :lmao: :lmao: OM that is so funny! Make it something lacy! I miss Lilmoma, and I didn't find her avatar or anything about her words to be offensive.... I know they won't let me PM right now - don't know why, but was trying to send tudor something and it continued to ask for my password - even after I had signed in. HHHHHMMMMMMMMMM... What to do????? Tater Thong?
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