mur4th Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 my ex girlfriend cheated on me with a another guy and we pretty much spilled our guts out about how much we loved eachother over winter break from school. the problem is she went back to the guy she was with before me and me and him are on the same football team. everybody knows about the whole situation except that we love eachother and wish we were still together.i dont see myself taking that risk of shame and so i told her i didnt want to speak to her anymore, but i said it with a nice letter saying i enjoyed having her in my life and goodbye.and its been hard and i've stuck to it even through the drunk times. recently she's been aol im me asking how i was doing and how she knows shes not supposed to talk to me but wants to ask questions. she brings up memories and really has found any reason to have a conversation. she's written in stone that we cannot get back together and we have to move on. i'm a nice guy and really havent bashed her for cheating on me cuz i'm not that type of person, but what should i do to make her realize its done?
Ice_9 Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 she's written in stone that we cannot get back together and we have to move on.........what should i do to make her realize its done? Look at the first part of your quote. She already realises. Her contacting you is either her way of trying to say sorry or does want you back but is so aware of her actions that she's hiding behind the "we must move on" line, secretly hoping that you will forgive and take her back or maybe that she can forgive herself.
Author mur4th Posted February 4, 2006 Author Posted February 4, 2006 she has told me sorry and wish that it had never happened but i cant believe something like that when you still stay with him. but the more i think about it she has stayed with him because she knows what people will think of her and would end up lonely and lose two guys. i def cant find myself taking her back because this has broken the trust that we had. she has hit me harder than any girl has and its hard to let go but i know its best for me to move on.
sanne Posted February 5, 2006 Posted February 5, 2006 she feels immense guilt because she knows what she has lost. but that's her problem and not yours to worry about. trust me there are many women out there, do not waste your time on those that cheat and lie. you really have to believe that you will find a good woman who is honest and trustworthy, do not hang on to her like a leech.
Ice_9 Posted February 5, 2006 Posted February 5, 2006 All replies have been spot on. She knows it's over..........even if she wants you back. It's not her that needs to see it's through. It's you. Sorry to say it but it's true. She wrote in stone (your words) it's over. She says there is no future yet you write "i def cant find myself taking her back because this has broken the trust that". It's you that needs to move on.
Author mur4th Posted February 13, 2006 Author Posted February 13, 2006 i see what your saying, i gotta get her out of my brain , thanks ice
magda Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 She probably just doesn't want you to forget her. I seriously doubt guilt has anything to do with it. If you move on that means you aren't pining for her anymore, and if you aren't pining for her anymore she gets no self-esteem boost. So she comes online to remind you of the good times, even though there is no chance. It's classic. The rule of ex girlfriends... they always come back as soon as you've forgotten... just to keep you from forgetting.
tweldy Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 And she realizes it. She sees someone who can be hurt and not lash out. She sees that you can be strong and move on with your life. She sees that despite being hurt, you are still kind. She realizes that she was a fool. She realizes that you will move on and find someone who will never betray you. She wishes it weren't so and wishes you'd take her back. She's afraid she'll never find anyone as wonderful as you are. Knowing this, perhaps you should make a promise to yourself not spend your time and energy on this former girlfriend and spend your time on yourself, and finding the woman of your dreams. Hopefully she can learn from this and do better in her future relationships. Truly I am impressed as how mature you are about this situation, being as young as your are, you are far wiser than your peers.
Author mur4th Posted February 17, 2006 Author Posted February 17, 2006 i appreciate that comment, you guys really helped me out, i'm feelin better about this situation more and more, much luv
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