Becky Jean Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 My husband and I have been married 22 years. For 26 years I thought (and was told I was his one and only), but this summer he told me he had been unfaithful 3 months before we were married. This absolutely shattered my world! He had never and to my knowledge has never lied to me (except about this). He has been extremely remorseful and has apologized many times. My question is, why does it hurt SO much! I think I'm over it and it rears its ugly head again. At times I want him to feel my pain. I realize this seems very insignifigant to some, but it is huge in our relationship. At times I question life and why I continue on! Am I crazy or going that direction?
In Sync Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 I am not defending the actions of your husband, for his unfaithfulness prior to your marriage, but YES, it was 22 years ago and YES you are obsessing and creating anxiety for yourself now. You conveyed your sentiments to him, but unless this confession had a purpose (i.e, are you two going strong in your marriage or are there other issues that involve secrets he kept?) But if this confession was just a moment of him being honest. Let it go. HUMANS ARE NOT PERFECT. You built this ideal image of a perfect man in your head...well there's no such thing. This was 22 years ago, why are you going to keep this dead weight between you now. Has he been a faithful loving endearing husband to you in the 22 years of marriage? Stop living in the past and look at this real man with all his human flaws as well as your and ask am I going to build a wall or a bridge? I'm sorry I'm not coddling you, but this for me is a case where someone is looking for something to be miserable about.
Recommended Posts