jadedalways645 Posted February 3, 2006 Posted February 3, 2006 One of my friends has recently started seeing this girl. He is the lonely type and is just strickin by this girl. I have to admit that she is pretty cool and fun to be around (at least at first she seemed to be). The only thing is though, she has AIDS. She revealed this to me first and then we both told my friend. Well, at first he was taken aback but now he is talking about sleeping with her. Personally I think that he is confusing lust for love and he is about to make the biggest mistake of his life. I have tried talking to him about how stupid it is, and I even took him to go meet a "bug chaser" (For those that don't know, a bug chaser is someone who is looking to get infected by the AIDS virus). I don't know what to do, and nothing seems to be getting through to him. I've tried talking to the girl, but she doesn't want to hear it, because she is saying that this may be the last chance that she has at sex or a boyfriend. Tried telling her that she gave that up when she decided not to be sexually responsible and use condoms when she slept with random people. I know that is harsh for me to say, but I have no compassion for people that get into a situation knowing that it is harmful to them, then they get hurt and they want to blame everyone but themselves. I am starting to get resentful of her because she is willing to ruin someone's life for her own selfish desires. But I may just have to turn my back on my friend and let him deal with the aftermath. What would You Do?
loony Posted February 3, 2006 Posted February 3, 2006 What would You Do? That's really tough. I understand her desperation for a boyfriend and the physcial contact, but her behavior is indeed very selfish, the problem is that it might be reinforced by your friend's behavior which in turn is also reinforced by her behavior. I guess that he is also desperate for someone and therefore his judgement is seriously clouded by his feelings, it's not only the lust factor that drives him to pursue a sexual relationship with her. Somehow I believe that it's near to impossible to convince people whose motivation for something results from issues to give it up. One of my brother's friends was involved woman who already had a child. Obviously she had told him she would only able to be pregnant for a short while more because of some operation and she pushed him for a decision. He decided to have a kid with her. My brother said that this woman was awful, uneducated, not well-groomed and he just didn't understand what his friend saw in her, but it also must have been some kind of desperation. If I were you I'd find as much information about AIDS as I could and present it to your friend. I might also contact some organizations or help centers to get more advice on how to deal with the situation.
Outcast Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 What's the big deal? Tell him to wrap it up well.
luvtoto Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 I even took him to go meet a "bug chaser" (For those that don't know, a bug chaser is someone who is looking to get infected by the AIDS virus). Was anyone else confused by this statement? Wha?
loony Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 What's the big deal? Tell him to wrap it up well. A condom offers protection, nonethelessI find sleeping on a regular basis with someone who has AIDS to be a somewhat discomforting idea.
JayKay Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 Condoms are not 100% effective. Other sexual acts can also lead to AIDS. I used to work for a program that taught AIDS prevention sexual techniques and they used to recommend using this plastic sheet to perform oral sex... Yeah, you were supposed to do the deed through plastic. I've never heard of 'bug chasers' and I can't fathom why anyone would want to contract AIDS. I saw people with the virus...some of whom stayed healthy for years but others who withered and weakened and died of a simple cold.
Author jadedalways645 Posted February 4, 2006 Author Posted February 4, 2006 Some of my gay friends told me once about "bug chasers". They are people that consider getting AIDS the ultimate taboo, so they go to these parties with people that are positive and they all have sex. So I guess it's for thrills but damn, at what price. The reason I took him to go see one was because I thought that they would be able to convince him not to make a bad choice that would haunt him for the rest of his life. But I fear it may be too late. I was out with my girlfriend last night and she told me that she had seen them out together and when she went to go say hi, they got nervous and ran off. A big part of me is saying just forget it and let him make a stupid choice but I want to at least be able to say that I tried to convince him otherwise. He also thinks that wearing a condom is going to keep him safe, but like JAYKAY said, they are not 100% effective. I remember in a class that I took, they told us that the condom is only 60-70% effective in keeping virus's out. And yes you can get it through oral sex. I think they said that you were supposed to use a dental dam (I think that is what it is called). Or cut a condom in half and open it up. I just don't know.
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