incognito Posted February 3, 2006 Posted February 3, 2006 ...changed all their own contact info (home phone, cell phone, email addresses, etc) in an effort to make NC easier on themselves? I am considering this, because....it's not that I think he will try to contact me, but that I obsess over hoping he will contact me. I check my emails constantly, I hope each call is him. I am driving myself insane. I figure if I eliminate all ways in which he could contact me, then there's no reason to obsess that he might, because I know he can't...and I will finally freaking move on! Does this make sense to anyone else? I know that I will not contact him. I'm even pretty sure that he won't contact me. It's the obsessing and the hoping that I want to eliminate.
In Sync Posted February 3, 2006 Posted February 3, 2006 ...changed all their own contact info (home phone, cell phone, email addresses, etc) in an effort to make NC easier on themselves? I am considering this, because....it's not that I think he will try to contact me, but that I obsess over hoping he will contact me. I check my emails constantly, I hope each call is him. I am driving myself insane. I figure if I eliminate all ways in which he could contact me, then there's no reason to obsess that he might, because I know he can't...and I will finally freaking move on! Does this make sense to anyone else? I know that I will not contact him. I'm even pretty sure that he won't contact me. It's the obsessing and the hoping that I want to eliminate. As I am a strong believer in NC, I personally never did all of the changing my e-mail, or blocking, or not checked my e-mails, or phone...but if you think this will help you, blocking and leaks, DO IT. Of course there was always that checking my phone machine and e-mails, in the early stage...but you know what, having not received any contact this too was also an eye opener because it made me realize he's moved on and so should I. He chose not to call me, so that speaks volumes as well. You will eventually cease checking on whether he calls and replace that with filling your time with other things that matter to you. When you do that, your mind won't be preoccupied with whether or not he calls. It simply won't matter..TRUST ME. I have been where you are...and I can say I am no longer a prisoner of hoping and waiting for him to pop up.
Author incognito Posted February 3, 2006 Author Posted February 3, 2006 well....I have changed my email addy's ....I'm not too worried about the phone. I am still obsessively checking my email (which is funny cause now no one knows it...hahaha) but I feel better just knowing he can't contact me and there's not going to be anything there from him:o
WeaknPowerless Posted February 3, 2006 Posted February 3, 2006 I deleted the phone numbers, deleted the MSN contact and did my own part to chase her away. I f*cked things up in terms of her even wanting to contact me, but she made it obvious that she wouldn't anyways. That's what infuriates/saddens me, but at least, after sometime, I stopped hoping to hear from her. Now I make it a game for myself. I take my ego and pride and use it to my advantage...you don't want to contact me, well I sure as hell am not going to contact you. Especially after the emotional abuse she rang me through. There is a way to see if your MSN was deleted, and the day I brought myself to see if I was removed, well, for a minute it stabbed me in the heart, but then it gave me some closure. Funny thing, her abusive ex-boyfriend is still some one she talks to. She had zero to say about that relationship, and now, the good guy (me) doesn't even have any contact what-so-ever. F*ck it. My self esteem gets low thinking about her keeping all those in her past close, as bad as some of it was, and the guy who tried with all his heart gets the short end of the stick. Don't go out of your way to complicate things for yourself. If you don't care, change it up. I'd rather keep my things the same and use it as a big "F*ck You, my life is great and I'm not about to inconvenience my methods of contact because you're not in love anymore".
luvtoto Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 I blocked and deleted and changed and put up a couple wire fences. Now, I just obsess about wondering if he has ever tried to contact me and couldn't get through?? Either way...you are gonna think about it.
Art_Critic Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 put up a couple wire fences. What kind of fences did you put up ? did you move ?
DogBrain Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 Well, I changed my cell# 20 minutes after the second "anonymous" threatening phone call came in (hint: NEVER EVER hook up with a hot politician). Told my friends and relatives to not give out my number but instead take contact info from anybody who called looking for me. A week later I killed my 10 year-old email address. Went through the web and removed all references that had my mailing address. Changed my telephone number - hell, I went off the grid and went VOIP. Killed my two PO boxes and set up new ones at a different post office. When the "following" crap started, I changed my auto license tag. Then, the winner, I noticed one night that someone was trying to get onto my computer via my wireless connection. I noticed a van sitting outside (I live in a very rural area) - so I sneaked out with my camera and took a flash picture of the license plate. The van left immediately and, to my knowledge, has never been back. And yes, I burned all the email, hotel receipts, private photos, voicemail messages, etc to a password-protected CD - put one copy in my safety deposit box, one in my attorney's safety deposit box, and one in a location that I won't divulge. Somebody who knows me has the password and knows what to do if anything strange ever happens to me. I'm sure it's clear that my situation wasn't at all like yours. Then all of the weird stuff finally stopped happening - but it took 9 months. db
Art_Critic Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 Well, I changed my cell# 20 minutes after the second "anonymous" threatening phone call came in (hint: NEVER EVER hook up with a hot politician). Told my friends and relatives to not give out my number but instead take contact info from anybody who called looking for me. A week later I killed my 10 year-old email address. Went through the web and removed all references that had my mailing address. Changed my telephone number - hell, I went off the grid and went VOIP. Killed my two PO boxes and set up new ones at a different post office. When the "following" crap started, I changed my auto license tag. Then, the winner, I noticed one night that someone was trying to get onto my computer via my wireless connection. I noticed a van sitting outside (I live in a very rural area) - so I sneaked out with my camera and took a flash picture of the license plate. The van left immediately and, to my knowledge, has never been back. And yes, I burned all the email, hotel receipts, private photos, voicemail messages, etc to a password-protected CD - put one copy in my safety deposit box, one in my attorney's safety deposit box, and one in a location that I won't divulge. Somebody who knows me has the password and knows what to do if anything strange ever happens to me. I'm sure it's clear that my situation wasn't at all like yours. Then all of the weird stuff finally stopped happening - but it took 9 months. db .... Whew... I hope your safe and he leaves you alone..
luvtoto Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 What kind of fences did you put up ? did you move ? Barbed wire!! Move? Dang! Wish I would've thought of that.
luvtoto Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 Well, I changed my cell# 20 minutes after the second "anonymous" threatening phone call came in (hint: NEVER EVER hook up with a hot politician). Told my friends and relatives to not give out my number but instead take contact info from anybody who called looking for me. A week later I killed my 10 year-old email address. Went through the web and removed all references that had my mailing address. Changed my telephone number - hell, I went off the grid and went VOIP. Killed my two PO boxes and set up new ones at a different post office. When the "following" crap started, I changed my auto license tag. Then, the winner, I noticed one night that someone was trying to get onto my computer via my wireless connection. I noticed a van sitting outside (I live in a very rural area) - so I sneaked out with my camera and took a flash picture of the license plate. The van left immediately and, to my knowledge, has never been back. And yes, I burned all the email, hotel receipts, private photos, voicemail messages, etc to a password-protected CD - put one copy in my safety deposit box, one in my attorney's safety deposit box, and one in a location that I won't divulge. Somebody who knows me has the password and knows what to do if anything strange ever happens to me. I'm sure it's clear that my situation wasn't at all like yours. Then all of the weird stuff finally stopped happening - but it took 9 months. db Can't trust those politicians...even if they are hot! You must work for the FBI or something. You seem very knowledgeable when it comes to this sort of thing.
Author incognito Posted February 4, 2006 Author Posted February 4, 2006 Well, I changed my cell# 20 minutes after the second "anonymous" threatening phone call came in (hint: NEVER EVER hook up with a hot politician). Told my friends and relatives to not give out my number but instead take contact info from anybody who called looking for me. A week later I killed my 10 year-old email address. Went through the web and removed all references that had my mailing address. Changed my telephone number - hell, I went off the grid and went VOIP. Killed my two PO boxes and set up new ones at a different post office. When the "following" crap started, I changed my auto license tag. Then, the winner, I noticed one night that someone was trying to get onto my computer via my wireless connection. I noticed a van sitting outside (I live in a very rural area) - so I sneaked out with my camera and took a flash picture of the license plate. The van left immediately and, to my knowledge, has never been back. And yes, I burned all the email, hotel receipts, private photos, voicemail messages, etc to a password-protected CD - put one copy in my safety deposit box, one in my attorney's safety deposit box, and one in a location that I won't divulge. Somebody who knows me has the password and knows what to do if anything strange ever happens to me. I'm sure it's clear that my situation wasn't at all like yours. Then all of the weird stuff finally stopped happening - but it took 9 months. db Um...yeah...I'm not fearing for my life or anything:eek:
cynicalnlove Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 Yes, I did it... So that there are no hopes; which makes my coping much easier.
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