neverwilllearn Posted February 3, 2006 Posted February 3, 2006 Spent a year on Tour, fell in Love, I helld out 6 months to make sure. He said he had knowone but an ex in his life that was only a friend that he share a place with for financial reasons. (Shake your head, I know, but I believed) Come back after 1 month break. LD kept us away during that time. He was so in Love he had tears. We talked about Marriage. We were really both so in Love. So I let down all walls upon return. Things felt different. Come to find out through snooping that friend was more than a friend. I kept my find secret. He finally tells me that we would be friends forever but things were difficult because of my young child. I am devestated but held up. Tour Ends. Within a week he is emailing me how he can't stop thinking about me, etc. Without me asking him he confesses the truth about all. Says he was sorry but with jobs not always out there in the entertainment industry, he was sort of using her. But then he 'moved out'. Love in Bloom again With his invitation I fly to see him. Sparks Fly. He introduces me to daughter and I get to know friends by phone. Tells my child that he is mommies boyfriend. He goes back on tour again. He changes his return flight to see me. Then at last minute. Cold Feet and he changes his mind telling me some other plausible excuse. I am devasted again. I felt broken. Where does he fly back to? You know. We have been in constant phone and email contact. I was so in love and trusted so much that it was difficult for me to let go. He always said that he didn' t dump me, he just had to deal with the 11 yr thing with the other and had to figure all with the LD and all. But to me, I felt dumped or duped. Then I thought how he was probably scared to give up his comfort zone and move to an unknown situation. Tour is glamorous. Reality sometimes is not. After all the tears, I finally 'let go' and 95% of the tears are gone. He said a few weeks ago he moved out and wants to come and see me. He always professed his love, which I sometimes wondered.. it's difficult to trust sometimes after a lie. Now here I am four months after his tour ended, 6 months from seeing him and on the phone we are chatting and I say "Hello my dear friend, how are you?". And he quips back "Oh we're back to friends now?" .... And I am thinking "What??!! He's getting a little annoyed iwth me??? because I say the word friend?? He went back to her! What was I then? Yes we both said how we loved each other in our emails and and phone but the reality was ... he wasn't here. So now here I am 6 months in where time, I haven't seen his face, and a "few" incidences have wained on my heart and I am thinking in my head that this guy should be doing flips for me to take him back and showing major TLC. And he gets annoyed that I say the word 'friend'?? My mind goes back and forth on whether I even want him in my life any more after a few of his fibs. But on the other had I want to see him.. because we were so great together and we loved each other so .. But for me it will be like starting over again. I had an abondonment issue as a child and I felt like he abondoned me twice which was devastating and I am over it and could take him or leave. So how do I get him to understand that it isn't like it was before, because it's not And if there's going to be another chance that he's got his part of the emocional work. With his little comment, it feels like he thinks I did something to him.. something is wrong with this picture .. or he thinks that things should be exactly like they were before he went home to her. Advice or comments, anyone.
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