jen4 Posted February 3, 2006 Posted February 3, 2006 Well, I am new here, been just reading for a week or so. I went on a date with a 19 yr old Sat. I am 33. I thought the age was ok since he doesn't look or act 19. We've seen each other 3 times since ,he's come over before work,we've messed around . Well he gets off work at 11pm, I am usually in bed by then so he doesn't call. Last night I had something to tell him so I called, no answer and no voicemail on his phone. I talked to him in the morning,asked if he saw I called he said no. whatever. he came over,we messed around. He called in the evening,talked for a minute. I call him at midnight,I happened to be up,it rang and no answer,called back around 1 and phone is now off. Am I overreacting? Part of me says yes. We are going out Sat. night. I don't want to be played,he definatly knows this too. I seriously thought he was cool,and we have great chemistry so far. Any insight is welcomed. thanks Jen:)
Walk Posted February 3, 2006 Posted February 3, 2006 That's hard to say, not knowing much about him. My initial thought is since he's 19 he's probably out with the boys partying when you're calling and doesn't want you to know. I'm just saying this on a generalized idea of 19 year olds. It's a little early in the dating game to be getting incredibly worried that he's not answering at such a late hour. Do you know what he normally does after he gets outta work? Have you asked? Has he said anything about it in conversation? I dont' normally keep a phone in my bedroom, and wouldn't think to check messages first thing in the morning. So for me, I wouldn't think his behavior is too strange. Do not sleep with him!!!! Do not sleep with this man until you are comfortable in trusting him. You don't trust him yet. You're putting your life in jeapordy if you sleep with him and find out later that he's had 20 other women the week prior. For your health and mental well being, do not sleep with him until you know him better, and trust him enough to know he's where he says he's at. When you don't wonder if he's playing you, or if he's home, or at the bar, or ignoring your phone calls on purpose. He won't love you, or think more highly of you, just because of sex.
Author jen4 Posted February 3, 2006 Author Posted February 3, 2006 I know it's tough to say what's going on here. I guess I am assuming things at this point. I am talking about his cell phone,he has no home phone. After work I have no idea what he does. He's never told me. I so hope this isn't another player. I took a chance on a guy 14 yrs younger than me in hopes that maybe he was different. Thanks and I think I'm making myself upset over nothing at the moment. Jen
JayKay Posted February 3, 2006 Posted February 3, 2006 I don't know Jen....I know two examples of age disparities between men and woman My brother dated a 32-yr-old woman when he was nineteen. My best friend dated a 24-year old when she was 39. In both cases, the relationships started off hot and heavy and then petered out fast. Young guys are usually not ready for the things older women are. I'm not saying it couldn't work, but you need to ask yourself what your priorities are? In my best friend's case, her priorities were; getting her business off the ground, getting bills paid, taking care of her health and having a solid, settled relationship. Her boyfriend-at-the-time was more interested in staying up late, playing in his band, drinking and smoking. He squandered any money he did earn. While he SAID he wanted all the same things she did, his actions didn't demonstrate that. Now my brother was much less of a partyer at 19; he actually moved in with his much-older girlfriend and they set up house for about 2 years. Then he started getting itchy feet. He felt like he missing out on travelling, seeing bands, going to parties. She liked staying home, making crafts and going to lectures. He started feeling stifled. So before you're in over your head, I'd take a long look at how he spends his time and what his values seem to be about. At 19, most people are still doing a lot of growing up.
BlahBlahQueen Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 OK, see, I'm only generalizing here, but since most 19-year-old men (boys, really *lol*) are not looking for a steady commitment (especially with a much older woman), if I were you I would assume this is just a booty-call situation and treat it as such. Enjoy the hot young flesh while it lasts - it can be quite nice - and don't get any long-term expectations up. Unless he shows and tells you explicitly otherwise.
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