Trying to date....but...

February 7, 2006

KJO314,

In response to your previous question regarding the 'funk', -the link I give below should be good for you.

If the first part of the link doesn't necessarily apply to you, just scroll down to about 1/4 of the page where it begins to read the a, b, c's, etc.

I gave this link to your before, but maybe you didn't get that far into it.

Good info for just exactly what you're experiencing.

Take Care.

Yours,

-Rio

February 7, 2006

eh..somethign tells me she knows why she did it.

I wish I knew... if I knew I would be better...

man, if I knew why mine did it I'd be better to...

life just sucks right now

Ahhhh guys. You THINK you know how certain things would make you feel had you found out the reason behind these woman breaking up with you. Well, let me tell you something. YOU'RE 110% WRONG!!! I used to be on your side of the fence, constantly wondering why my girlfriend broke up with me. Never quite believing the BS that she was always trying to convince me was the truth, my mind began racing in many directions to try and figure out a way to prove that her words to me were nothing more than sheer LIES. Well, much to my amazement, I found such a way. And the weird thing is that I never quite thought of it until my mind went into "criminal mode" (it's so true when they say love will make you do/think crazy things). It suddenly dawned on me that when we had purchased a computer together months before our breakup, I hooked it up, configured it, and set up a brand new e-mail account for her, which she gave me her username and PASSWORD. It was one of those things I guess I subconsciously stored in my head, since I never thought to access her account, nor did I ever have a reason to access it...UNTIL SHE DUMPED ME! And do you know what? The password worked! I can't say I'm proud of what I did, but so many people have supported my actions and tell me they would've done the same thing. Well, that was almost two months ago and, in hindsight, it was the WORST thing I could've done to myself, since I found out that there was another man involved and that she got rid of me to be with him. To this day, I haven't confronted her with it, so she hasn't a clue that I know. But she played me for an ignorant stupid fool by lying straight to my face. I'm not gonna go into detail about what's included in the e-mails, but let's just say there are many lovey-dovey words exchanged between them, as well as pictures of them together.

The moral of this story...let your ignorance guide you now and always, for you are better off not knowing the real truth or reason behind the breakup, and only taking what your exes tell you with a grain of salt. Never place any real weight on the words that come out of the mouths of your exes after a breakup, for they will not only tell you what you want to hear, but will also tell you what they think THEY themselves want to hear. In other words, they actually start believing their own lies as the truth, to make it easier on themselves for breaking up with you. It's similar to when you keep telling someone they're stupid, they'll eventually believe it. Same thing, only they are making themselves believe. It's almost like a self-defeatist attitude turned into a self-acceptance mindset intended to justify their actions.

To sum it up:

- When asked the reason for the breakup - "I don't know why" = BS (they know damn well)

- "I still want us to remain friends" = Major BS (they couldn't care less if they never see you again)

- "Don't worry, there's no one else" = Most likely major BS (you'll never quite know for sure, unless you're armed with a "key" to unlock the truth like I was)

My problem is that I know way too much. I only wish I was in your boat, being totally left in the dark with the wool pulled over my eyes. But, unfortunately, I can't turn back time. The damage is done. And knowing I still have access is even more damaging, because I'm always tempted to "get an update". Curiosity eventually grabbed a hold of me and now I can't let it go. It killed the cat, and now it's killing me! Let this be a warning to all.