Alison Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 I left my MM last Friday after 3 years of hearing all of the lies. He separated from wife 6 times, then separated from me the same. I think he is back with wife now, but I am still hurting so badly. I know that leaving was the right thing to do, but we share so much. I catch myself dreaming about the plans that we made. Then I realize that they will never happen. I'm really confused. I talked with him twice since Friday. Want him in my life so badly, but can't stand the pain. Really need some support.
newbby Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 hey alison. you already realise that the plans that you made were a part of the illusion, so nobody needs to remind you of that. it is hard, and it is painful, but the sooner you go through it, the sooner you will be free. what do you think you need to get through the initial pain? if you register you will be able to speak to somebody on loveshack anytime you are feeling bad. do you have any self help books? are you doing any excercise esp calming types such as yoga? do you have any goals that being in this relationship has kept your attention from that you could start getting excited about now? any dates you could go on, nothing serious, just a little fun to see you through?
Alison Posted February 3, 2006 Posted February 3, 2006 I've been staying really busy with girlfriends, but the alone time is pretty terrible. Can't seem to find the motivation to do the things that I want to do. Seem to be stuck in depression a little bit, then get out of it and really work hard. Working is helping... I own my own business, and I build houses as a side job. So 15 hour days are doing the trick. I guess that I wish that I could see a more beautiful future than working just to kill time. I have registered, but think that I am missing out on something. Can you give me some advice about this?
whichwayisup Posted February 3, 2006 Posted February 3, 2006 Give yourself time to cry and get through this. Keeping busy is good but you still have to deal with the letting go of him. This may sound gay, but start making lists. All the good things you love about him, the good he brought into your life and how he made you feel. Do another list with all the bad stuff. How much pain this situation has brought on. I'm betting the bad will outweigh the good. And with that being said, your focus should be on YOU and your recovery. In time, when he isn't in your head as much, you'll care less and think about him less. Eventually, just like any other break up, things will go back to normal. Good luck and keep posting! Check out no foolin's thread in the Coping section, about the long guided walk to NO CONTACT...It's helped many people. As for joining this site, I think you need to register, provide a valid email address. Right now I think you're still guest status. If that doesn't work, click on the "contact us" link.
newbby Posted February 3, 2006 Posted February 3, 2006 I've been staying really busy with girlfriends, but the alone time is pretty terrible. Can't seem to find the motivation to do the things that I want to do. Seem to be stuck in depression a little bit, then get out of it and really work hard. Working is helping... I own my own business, and I build houses as a side job. So 15 hour days are doing the trick. I guess that I wish that I could see a more beautiful future than working just to kill time. it is inevitable that you will be depressed for a time, just go with it. it really wont take as long as you think before you are feeling better. if you enjoy working so long then great, if not then for gods sake take a break! you will have a more beautiful future than just working, if that is what you choose, but it wont happen with mm, it is far more likely to happen if you keep away from him too! I have registered, but think that I am missing out on something. Can you give me some advice about this? i think you may have to subscribe nowadays to get the same privaleges as older members. i thought that you had not registered because of the way your name appeared, dont mind me. as long as your post shows up immediately you post it, thats all you need to be able to speak to someone whenever you are feeling weak.
Alison Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 Thanks for all of the support and suggestions. I feel like I am walking through my days in a daze. Had a really bad day yesterday and contacted MM. I felt worse than if I hadn't. I guess I needed to see that. Just hoping that today will be a better one.
newbby Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 you are right. sometimes it takes the recontact to show you where you do not want to be, and why you are enduring the temporary pain.
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