tanbark813 Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 I may have jumped the gun a little about liking a little jealousy (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t80934/). So last night myself and my gf went to the karaoke bar that I always go to on Wednesdays. Some of my friends showed up, then some of hers. Two of her friends were these guys I had met before and are cool. 3 girls were there that were friends of my gf who I was meeting for the first time. Then there were 2 other girls who were friends of one of my gf's guy friends. Things were going fine, everyone was hanging out, and I rocked the house on a few songs. My gf went to the back of the bar with her guy friends for a little bit which bothered me a little but I brushed it off. She returned after 10 minutes or so. I couldn't really see her because of how the bar is set up. At one point towards the end of the night I get up to go to the bathroom. When I get back to the table, my gf and some of her friends were gone. Umm.. okay... I wait for maybe 10 minutes or so (it starts to get blurry here) until I get fed up. I grab my jacket and her purse and start to look for her. I look in the main area of the bar and she's not there. I look in the back of the bar and she's not there. I go outside to check the parking lot and don't see her. Finally I walk around to the patio area outside and she's sitting on the lap of one of her guy friends, one of her girl friends is there, and I think there might have been a couple of her other friends with them. I walk up with obnoxious and obviously feigned enthusiasm. "WHAT'S UP, GUYS?!?!" My gf gets up to stand next to me and after some brief chatting I say I want to go. "Ok, let me go inside with [friend] and get her purse," she says. "No, we should go now," I reply. Her friend asks, "Can't she just go inside with me to get my purse?" I ignore her and say to my gf, "I'm leaving now. You should come with me." We leave and I ask her why she ditched me. She says she was mad because I was all over some girl. First of all, I wasn't. Second of all, I don't even know who she was talking about. I'm pretty sure it was one of the girls who were friends with one of her guy friends because I forget their names and they were both kind of into me, but I'm not positive. We got into a huge fight on the drive home. She slept on my couch and left early in the morning before I woke up. I think we're broken up now but I'm also not positive about that. I'm also not sure I really care.
Art_Critic Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 Sorry Tan.. The whole sitting on some other guys lap thing Sucks big time.. Girls don't sit on their guy friends laps... too sexual.. Maybe she was doing to level the playing field so to speak and it will all work out
loony Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 She looks like a big troublemaker. And yeah, dump her.
alphamale Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 Finally I walk around to the patio area outside and she's sitting on the lap of one of her guy friends, at this point I would have said "so, his lap must me nicer than mine...see ya later". And then turned around, walked out and gone home...
kitten chick Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 Girls don't sit on their guy friends laps... too sexual.. Not true but I think when women do this in front of their boyfriend it's disrespectful. I agree with A_C, if she's not normally an affectionate person with her friends, she was doing this to level the playing field. IMO, you guys have already had a lot of drama in your relationship and it is very young. Some people enjoy this kind of interaction and if you're one of those people then all the power to ya and stick with it. If not, I see a lot more of this in your future.
Author tanbark813 Posted February 2, 2006 Author Posted February 2, 2006 at this point I would have said "so, his lap must me nicer than mine...see ya later". And then turned around, walked out and gone home... I was close to doing that. If she didn't leave with me right when I asked then I would have been driving home alone. To loony: I love your icon.
blind_otter Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 Ick. my condolensces. I wouldn't jump the gun and say you were broken up until you have "the conversation"....maybe you guys just had an inebriated moment together. Stuff like this reminds me why I quit drinking. No offense. At least you helped someone in AA stay sober today!
Author tanbark813 Posted February 2, 2006 Author Posted February 2, 2006 Ick. my condolensces. I wouldn't jump the gun and say you were broken up until you have "the conversation"....maybe you guys just had an inebriated moment together. Stuff like this reminds me why I quit drinking. No offense. At least you helped someone in AA stay sober today! Yeah. That's the thing is that I think we might have said we were broken up last night but I'm not sure. The end of the night is kind of hazy.
whichwayisup Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 I don't know what she was trying to pull, a tit for tat thing maybe? She sounds abit immature to be playing that game. You don't need that crap! How much do you like her? I mean if you think she's worth fighting for, then CALL her and lay it all out on the line. Tell her you're not into games, not into being made a fool of and if she feels the need to want to sit in laps of other men then she can go do that and find a new boyfriend. That really sucks.
Author tanbark813 Posted February 2, 2006 Author Posted February 2, 2006 How much do you like her? We have our fun sometimes but I think we're too different, mainly in terms of lifestyle and relationship needs/desires. She's in class right now but I might talk to her later today.
RainyDayWoman Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 Not true but I think when women do this in front of their boyfriend it's disrespectful. i agree. and the fact that she was disappearing all night and hiding out is effed up.
alphamale Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 How much do you like her? I mean if you think she's worth fighting for, then CALL her and lay it all out on the line. Tell her you're not into games, not into being made a fool of and if she feels the need to want to sit in laps of other men then she can go do that and find a new boyfriend. f*** that! TB813 you lay low and wait for her to call you an apologize. If she doesnt call then just write her off and move on. If you call her you'll look like an idiot.
Author tanbark813 Posted February 2, 2006 Author Posted February 2, 2006 f*** that! TB813 you lay low and wait for her to call you an apologize. If she doesnt call then just write her off and move on. If you call her you'll look like an idiot. Agreed. I'm basically just waiting to see if she'll call me later today after she gets out of class.
kitten chick Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 Agreed. I'm basically just waiting to see if she'll call me later today after she gets out of class. Uch, I dated a guy like this. He broke up with me because I didn't call him at the "right" time. What a f***ing @sshole. If I ever ran across this again I'd tell him to go f*** himself and get the he!! out of dodge.
Author tanbark813 Posted February 2, 2006 Author Posted February 2, 2006 Uch, I dated a guy like this. He broke up with me because I didn't call him at the "right" time. What a f***ing @sshole. If I ever ran across this again I'd tell him to go f*** himself and get the he!! out of dodge. Well then I guess it's a good thing me and you aren't dating.
kitten chick Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 Well then I guess it's a good thing me and you aren't dating. Oh even before this incident NN, you and I know that would never happen in a million years. Not to say that I don't respect your opinion, I do.
Author tanbark813 Posted February 2, 2006 Author Posted February 2, 2006 Oh even before this incident NN, you and I know that would never happen in a million years. Not to say that I don't respect your opinion, I do. Fair enough.
dgiirl Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 ugh sorry tanbark... how old is this girl? she sounds very immature.
Author tanbark813 Posted February 2, 2006 Author Posted February 2, 2006 ugh sorry tanbark... how old is this girl? she sounds very immature. 24. I'm 28, fwiw.
Author tanbark813 Posted February 2, 2006 Author Posted February 2, 2006 do u like older woman? lol j/k I do, actually. I've dated a couple girls in their mid-30's and we got along beautifully.
dgiirl Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 ha, kick ass I do believe us 30-somethings are a little more mature. (fyi, i'm 31)
reservoirdog1 Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 Hey Tan... gotta agree with Alpha. Leave the ball totally in her court. She's the one who slept on your couch and left without a word. Give it a day or two and if she doesn't call you, that's that and on you move.
Author tanbark813 Posted February 2, 2006 Author Posted February 2, 2006 Hey Tan... gotta agree with Alpha. Leave the ball totally in her court. She's the one who slept on your couch and left without a word. Give it a day or two and if she doesn't call you, that's that and on you move. Yeah, I think that's a good idea. So far I've been doing just that. At least I have plenty to keep me busy at work.
cygny Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 tan--are you *sure* you didn't behave in a way that she construed as disrespectful to her-even if unintended by you? and provoked that reaction? and then you reacted to her? and now you seem to be getting advice to 'ditch' her if she doesn't call you? i think you should be damn sure that your actions were not insensitive before you go off on a tangent too. both of you seem to be feeding off of each other's reactions. and also you seem to be very jealous--if she goes to the bar for a few minutes you are wondering what's going on, etc etc. what's up with all that?
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