jaysin09 Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 The details really aren't important. The fact is that I screwed up. I had the kindest most giving woman a man could ever ask for and I took her for granted. I kept hurting her and still she loved me. But I kept on neglecting her and taking advantage of her kindness to me. She was the only true good thing in my life. And now she's gone and I think it's for good. And I know it's my fault. I don't know what to do. We practically lived together for a few years and everything about me is intertwined with her. Most my friends are her friends and I have no one to turn to. She was all I had. I'm scared. I don't what I'm supposed to do. I feel like I'm going to die and I keep thinking it may be better that way. Maybe then she'll want me back. I know that's wrong and crazy but I just want her back so bad I'll do anything. I just need someone to talk to.
starr3546 Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 I am sorry for what has happened, but why did you treat her so poorly if she was that important to you. Often times we make mistakes, and keep making them, because we think we can get away with these mistakes for ever. However, you can only do something for so long, b4 it nips you in the ass! Maybe your girl, will see your sympathy and give you another try, but maybe not. Have you guys ever broken up b4 because you treated her badly? Try and be strong, and look at it as a learning experience....i know it is easier said than done, but sometimes when we are wrong we have to face the fact that what happened is our own fault, and there is no one else to blame but ourselves. Then we have to stand up tall, and try to not retrace our steps!
witabix Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 Good advice from Starr there. Take this opportunity to examine your actions. Think of all the things you did that you now think you shouldn't have. Resolve to never do them again to another woman. Think about the things you did that you think are good things, and keep them. Loving someone invloves more than just thinking you love them, or more than just saying you love them. You have made a mistake here it seems from your perspective. Learn from your mistake and become a better man. As for getting back, maybe you shouldn't. If its broken down completely move on, it's time to grow.
JayKay Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 There comes a point when a woman is really DONE with a relationship. In which case, the best thing to do is let her go and move on. If she really misses you, still loves you and wants something from you, you WILL hear from her. Otherwise, take this lesson to heart and try to be more conscious of how you treat people in the future. Some lessons are really painful to learn. I'm sorry you're hurting.
riobikini Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 RE: jaysin09: " I just want her back so bad I'll do anything. " I refuse the idea of second chances. They only make you doubt your (or someone else's) decision to break, in the first place. And, normally, just as you were taught in school, -your first answer is usually the right one. Do as some of these wise posters are telling you: learn from the break. And leave her alone to find her own true happiness apart from you. -Rio
LonelyinOhio Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 And MAN will this be difficult....and no one here so far has tried to sugarcoat it for you. I can relate to your situation - as can many of the people on this board. I can tell you what worked for me, was really reflecting on my own behavior, on my own ridiculous actions, and getting into therapy to address the root causes. I found that I was able to immediately pinpoint some of the major reasons for my actions, and instantly able to address them. I'm still working on this, and will be for a very long time. In my case, this lead to a second chance with the ex, which lead to a second, more painful breakup. So, if I were you, start reading books about relationships, and about behavior in relationships. Start therapy. Start looking at YOURSELF, in a way you may never have done before. This is gonna be the hardest thing you've ever done. We'll be here to help, but you're mostly on your own.
jerbear Posted February 3, 2006 Posted February 3, 2006 RE: I refuse the idea of second chances. They only make you doubt your (or someone else's) decision to break, in the first place. And, normally, just as you were taught in school, -your first answer is usually the right one. Do as some of these wise posters are telling you: learn from the break. And leave her alone to find her own true happiness apart from you. -Rio I agree with the learning from the break. You live and learn. You have to leave her alone and find another path without her. Regards to second chances, I may not be as wise as Rio but I do say sometimes it works and sometimes it makes it worse.
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