starr3546 Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 [bSORRY FOR THIS BEING SO LONG....PLEASE BARE WITH ME!!B] Ok so my x and i dated for a few months a year ago broke up, because he was moving for a while, then almost a year later, we got back togetherr and dated for 6 months, he broke up with me outta the blue 3 months ago. We had a perfect relationship, and i thought he cared about me a lot. Well suddenly he broke up with me, claiming that with him going back to school...for a doctorite that he wouldn't have time for a gf with work, bartending, his internship and school, naturally i was crushed, and have been trying to get overr him ever since. Also it was hard to cope with his reasoning for the break up, because i originally thought it was a bunch of bull ****....later to find out it wasn't......anyway, We have been NC pretty much the whole time we have broken up, except for a few run ins, one at the bar, and once when i got wasted on New Years and called him, and ended up crying and telling him i loved him and missed him, and told him i just needed to tie up the loose ends from our break up. He told me the same stuff he told me when we broke up, that he was just to busy and he really wasn't ready for someone to be serious with just now. We had a great conversation and ended up talking for a while about how we've been, and left the conversation on a good note. Well Anyway Saturday night, he calls me. I didn't answer and he just kept calling and calling, eventually i answered, i was outta town. He asked me when i picked up the phone to come and meet him at this bar he was at. Thank god i was outta town, cause i didn't want to see him. So sunday i call him and ask him why he called me and he tells me about how he was on a date with this girl, and it just didn't work out, and they ended up going their seperate ways at the bar, and that he was thinking about me. Then he proceedes to tell me that there are no good amazing girls out there. He is looking for marriage material, nothing serious but wants someone amazing in his life. Then....he asks me out for coffee. We meet up and talk for like 3 hours, the whole time he kept telling me how stupid and screwed up he is and how that when you find someone great and nice in your life you need to keep them close. Then on top of it all he kept calling our get together a date. What is that?!!! As our conversation proceeded he was offering help with things, like sending me songs for the ipod i just got, and also telling me he is going to give me this stuff he has for my knee to help it heal. Then at the end of our so called date, he goes " this was a fun date, it is truely something when you can talk to someone for 3 hours without trouble". I was like what, we have always had good conversation, was he blind b4 to our whole relationship!!! sooooo... today, he im's me on the computer, not by saying anything, but by sending me a file transfer of music he was going to give me. I accepted the file, and then wrote to him, thanks, how was ur day. We talked for a lil while, and he told me he wanted to go shopping at this huge outlet in Pennsylvania. I told him sweet and that i love going to places like that, especially if they have coach outlet or saks...he was like ooo they have those stores there. Then he tells me to get some friends, and tells me he can fit up to 6 people in his car. I didn't answer this.....When i didn't answer, he goes well i will talk to you about that later, i h ave to go to sleep. I was just like ok bye.... what does he think we are going to be buddies, or is this away for him to try to crawl back into my life....i am soooo freaking confused right now i don't know what to do. In a way, i am a little pissed because honestly if he does wanna come back why doesnt he just say it, and secondly he knows friends is outta the pictured!! i mean c'mon i just called him a month ago, pouring my guts and feeling out... what do you think he is thinking about?!!! some insight please!!!
Kengne Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 [bSORRY FOR THIS BEING SO LONG....PLEASE BARE WITH ME!!B] Ok so my x and i dated for a few months a year ago broke up, because he was moving for a while, then almost a year later, we got back togetherr and dated for 6 months, he broke up with me outta the blue 3 months ago. We had a perfect relationship, and i thought he cared about me a lot. Well suddenly he broke up with me, claiming that with him going back to school...for a doctorite that he wouldn't have time for a gf with work, bartending, his internship and school, naturally i was crushed, and have been trying to get overr him ever since. Also it was hard to cope with his reasoning for the break up, because i originally thought it was a bunch of bull ****....later to find out it wasn't......anyway, We have been NC pretty much the whole time we have broken up, except for a few run ins, one at the bar, and once when i got wasted on New Years and called him, and ended up crying and telling him i loved him and missed him, and told him i just needed to tie up the loose ends from our break up. He told me the same stuff he told me when we broke up, that he was just to busy and he really wasn't ready for someone to be serious with just now. We had a great conversation and ended up talking for a while about how we've been, and left the conversation on a good note. Well Anyway Saturday night, he calls me. I didn't answer and he just kept calling and calling, eventually i answered, i was outta town. He asked me when i picked up the phone to come and meet him at this bar he was at. Thank god i was outta town, cause i didn't want to see him. So sunday i call him and ask him why he called me and he tells me about how he was on a date with this girl, and it just didn't work out, and they ended up going their seperate ways at the bar, and that he was thinking about me. Then he proceedes to tell me that there are no good amazing girls out there. He is looking for marriage material, nothing serious but wants someone amazing in his life. Then....he asks me out for coffee. We meet up and talk for like 3 hours, the whole time he kept telling me how stupid and screwed up he is and how that when you find someone great and nice in your life you need to keep them close. Then on top of it all he kept calling our get together a date. What is that?!!! As our conversation proceeded he was offering help with things, like sending me songs for the ipod i just got, and also telling me he is going to give me this stuff he has for my knee to help it heal. Then at the end of our so called date, he goes " this was a fun date, it is truely something when you can talk to someone for 3 hours without trouble". I was like what, we have always had good conversation, was he blind b4 to our whole relationship!!! sooooo... today, he im's me on the computer, not by saying anything, but by sending me a file transfer of music he was going to give me. I accepted the file, and then wrote to him, thanks, how was ur day. We talked for a lil while, and he told me he wanted to go shopping at this huge outlet in Pennsylvania. I told him sweet and that i love going to places like that, especially if they have coach outlet or saks...he was like ooo they have those stores there. Then he tells me to get some friends, and tells me he can fit up to 6 people in his car. I didn't answer this.....When i didn't answer, he goes well i will talk to you about that later, i h ave to go to sleep. I was just like ok bye.... what does he think we are going to be buddies, or is this away for him to try to crawl back into my life....i am soooo freaking confused right now i don't know what to do. In a way, i am a little pissed because honestly if he does wanna come back why doesnt he just say it, and secondly he knows friends is outta the pictured!! i mean c'mon i just called him a month ago, pouring my guts and feeling out... what do you think he is thinking about?!!! some insight please!!! Hi starr!! I remember you from before. 1st - glad to hear ur alive and doing pretty well. Now as to what he may be thinking... I think he is definitely feeling you out. His comments abt there being no good amazing girls out there... his failed date... I think this may very well be the beginning of him questoning himself "What the f*! did I do??" and TRYING to come back to you. Now... in what shape or form? I don't know. Is he ready to be in a relationship? I wouldn't think so RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT - based on what he told you just a mth ago. But I think he may be wavering towards you. The best thing you can do now is nothing - sit tight. Don't bring up the 'relationship' or 'where are we going' type talks. DON'T ask him if he just wants to be friends, because he will interpret that as you wanting more (WHICH YOU DO) and it may scare him off even further. And last... he won't just come out and say how he feels because I don't think he's too sure himself WHAT he feels. He's prolly every bit as confused/uncertain as you are. Give him some space/time to come out with it (WHATever it is). If and when he brings it up... and you don't like what he's telling you - eg he JUSTS wants to be friends - then you calmly let him know sorry, you feel more for him than that and can't 'just' be friends - and you exit the situation. Go back into NC. K.
Author starr3546 Posted February 3, 2006 Author Posted February 3, 2006 Thanks K. your the best! Ya i think i agree with all that you said, I think he is definitely questioning himself. I don't think he knows what he wants, or where he is going iwth this. I think he is having some regrets.....The best thing for me to do is just to stay busy and go on doing things as i have benn b4 he came back into the picture. I don't want to rush into anything with him as yet, because for one thing; can i trust him with my feelings again...hummm...this is something to consider. All i know is that i still care about him, but that doesn't mean i am just going to go runnning back. I need to be proven to that he is serious, and that has his own issues ffigured out!!
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