cal gal Posted February 1, 2006 Posted February 1, 2006 My soon to be ex husband just had a bouquet of flowers delivered to me that probably cost 150.00 ... he used to bring me flowers every week when we were married. Today would be our twenty year anniversary... but he was not faithful, soooo. His card read: Dear -------, Thinking of you on this very difficult day for both of us.You may not believe me but I wish things could be different. I understand that they can't. Thank you for being a wonderful mom to our terrific boys - and all the good times. Love, ------ Do I respond? What is a gal to think - it is not like I could take him back, because I can't. Give me a way to keep myself going in the right direction..... = (
Toronto Posted February 1, 2006 Posted February 1, 2006 Yikes, I don't envy that situation. Are you in NC?
Author cal gal Posted February 1, 2006 Author Posted February 1, 2006 I am thinking that I will ask my best friend's husband to come by and give them to her - like he bought them.... Maybe that way I won't have the reminder for a week and they can benefit from how beautiful they are....
Art_Critic Posted February 1, 2006 Posted February 1, 2006 You respond by saying Thank You.. Being your Childrens Mom is a Joy. Say only that.. only acknowledge that he sent the flowers because you are his kids Mother.
In Sync Posted February 1, 2006 Posted February 1, 2006 I would actually say nothing. Give the flowers away as they obviously don't bring any source of comfort, and really why be reminded of him now. If you thank him, will that make you feel better and if you say nothing at least you haven't encourage an unnecessary breaking of NC. With two boys though, it's understandable that you want to remain civil. I suspect the flowers were to alleviate his guilt and in his mind make him feel like he was a descent guy. Say nothing and let the silence speak for itself.
notmakingsense Posted February 1, 2006 Posted February 1, 2006 This is a tough one. I wouldn't acknowledge it if you are still at a place where your split hurts you. Over time, as you move into the "happily co-parenting" phase of your lives, acknowledging him and any other things that reduce animocity is only good for the kids -- even if they are older -- so they don't need to walk on the eggshells created by the friction between you. It will be interesting to see if you get a boquet on Mother's day....
Mz. Pixie Posted February 1, 2006 Posted February 1, 2006 I like Art's idea. You deserve the flowers for being a great mom so why not enjoy them as that?
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