galina reimers Posted February 1, 2006 Posted February 1, 2006 Married 8 years...on second year merriedge find out that my husband looking on porno.first time he said;"sorry",,,another time I find him again and again and again.....he is a teather in school,and he is watching 15-16 years old girls on the computer,,,,,Any way he said that he not going look anymore,,also he said that I'm not busy ,,,need work more..I had 2 jobs,,,and belive that he stop looking,,,,now he put password that I can't open up his computer and can't see what he is doing... time go by,,,,Our sex life can be ones in 3-6 month,,,and no kiss no toch{he not like to do anything for me..}. Somehow I get prognent...on my 8 month pragnant,,I again find out that he there on porno....I almost had baby there near computer,,,,Any way he promice not go any more...After baby born I cout him so many times...OH,,,,,I said that I can't life like that,,,any way need go to counsler,,,he do not want to go,,,I' try find counsler for me....may some one can help ,,I'm from Mount olive,,,can't drive to far,,,please if some one know where I should go to have help...Have baby she is now 13 month... Sorry for english{I'm russian}.Galina
JadeStar Posted February 1, 2006 Posted February 1, 2006 He has proven time and time again he can not be trusted and has lied about the porn etc. He sounds like he is not being a responsible father/husband either. He is a teacher and looking at 15-16 year olds? Well I say he sounds like he needs some kind of help. I wouldn't allow him to tell you again he will stop, because looks as if he isn't going too. Either suggest he get help, or maybe you and your 13 month old need to get out of the situation. Is he looking at pics/videos of young girls or is he chatting with them as well? Jade
portableversion Posted February 1, 2006 Posted February 1, 2006 It's a FACT that mail order brides face abuse at rates much higher than the general population. For one, the 'marriage brokers' don't even inquire into the man's background. Two, the men seeking wives in this manner usually have a social infirmity that keeps them single in the first place. Three, the brides are easily exploitable-they come here seeking a better life and end up with a POS husband.
Mz. Pixie Posted February 1, 2006 Posted February 1, 2006 If the girls look 15 or 16 they are probably much younger and that's child pornography. And he's a teacher?? My husband is a teacher and this turns my stomach. Those kids are somebody's daughter. I hope you can use the forum advice you've been given. I'm very very sorry that you are in this position. For most normal men, porn is not better than the real thing.
Author galina reimers Posted February 1, 2006 Author Posted February 1, 2006 If the girls look 15 or 16 they are probably much younger and that's child pornography. And he's a teacher?? My husband is a teacher and this turns my stomach. Those kids are somebody's daughter. I hope you can use the forum advice you've been given. I'm very very sorry that you are in this position. For most normal men, porn is not better than the real thing. He is looking at picturres teens porn and chat with them,,,,Today I told him that I 'll go to consler ,he said that ;"you one who have a problemm ,not me,you can go,you are creasy",.He said that he has no problemms.He is 48 ans me 35years old.
Mz. Pixie Posted February 1, 2006 Posted February 1, 2006 You are not crazy!!! He is just trying to make it out like you are because you are here, and from another country and a bit unsure because of that. Don't buy into it. Grown men shouldn't be looking at pictures of little girls on the computer and chatting with them. Does he know that the police set up stings by pretending to be young girls and they arrest the guys?? This is not your fault so don't think it is!
Ladyjane14 Posted February 1, 2006 Posted February 1, 2006 Does he know that the police set up stings by pretending to be young girls and they arrest the guys?? Not only that, but I'm pretty sure that even looking at child pornography can get him arrested. Teachers who are caught with these kind of files downloaded onto their computers are GUARANTEED to do the 'perp-walk' for the 6 o'clock news!....and deservedly so. This is absolutely disgusting behavior to begin with, but the thought that this guy is in contact with children everyday is intolerable. You're not dealing with just a porn problem, Galina. That would be bad enough. Your husband is risking literally EVERYTHING you two have together....not just your marriage and your family dynamic, but your home and future prospects. I think I'd see a lawyer if I were you, and try to find away to protect myself from what is surely going to be a devastating situation when your husband gets caught. You'd be wise to seek out Individual Counseling too. You're going to need some emotional support.
Author galina reimers Posted February 1, 2006 Author Posted February 1, 2006 Thank you for evrything,,, He is change his thinking now..He said a few hours ago that;"you have no proof that I'm looking on porno,and you are creasy,I have no problemms and you do...."I made an apoitment for councler on monday,hope can find a help..I spoke with his father,,but his father said that porno it's nothing and it's can't make a problems for family....his father not help,,,, Galina
Presario Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 Not only that, but I'm pretty sure that even looking at child pornography can get him arrested. Yep, that's true. I went to a talk by an FBI detective for Internet crimes, and he said that they track down and arrest those who download the child pornography.
Presario Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 I spoke with his father,,but his father said that porno it's nothing and it's can't make a problems for family....his father not help,,,, Make sure that he understands it's child pornography. He might think that your husband occasionaly watches some normal porn, which is quite common. If you tell him that it's child pornography and he still thinks it's OK, then he's sick too and he will not help you.
StrivingtoSucceed Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 I have another thought ... they have a daughter. If he is looking at child porn now, who is to say their daughter is actually safe with him? Galina, do you have any family of your own here? Close friends of your own that you trust? What options are available to someone from another country when they find themselves in situations such as this? Is there a government agency that would help get her set-up and away from this sick guy? There has got to be something ... I'm sure there are many women that are from another country and end up married and totally dependent upon guys like this, maybe not child porn, but I'm sure other problems.
Mz. Pixie Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 Not only that, but I'm pretty sure that even looking at child pornography can get him arrested. Teachers who are caught with these kind of files downloaded onto their computers are GUARANTEED to do the 'perp-walk' for the 6 o'clock news!....and deservedly so. This is absolutely disgusting behavior to begin with, but the thought that this guy is in contact with children everyday is intolerable. You're not dealing with just a porn problem, Galina. That would be bad enough. Your husband is risking literally EVERYTHING you two have together....not just your marriage and your family dynamic, but your home and future prospects. I think I'd see a lawyer if I were you, and try to find away to protect myself from what is surely going to be a devastating situation when your husband gets caught. You'd be wise to seek out Individual Counseling too. You're going to need some emotional support. Oh absolutely! My husband is a teacher and I cannot imagine him looking at something like that. Make sure his father knows this is not "boys will be boys" this is illegal! Ladyjane is right- you guys can lose your home over this. I just saw a show on Oprah where this guy was downloading child porn and selling it on the internet and they busted his home. His wife had NO clue what he was doing. Downstairs in his safe he had all these homemade videotapes they found- and it was him and his stepdaughter- age 8- on the tapes. He was selling pictures of her online. His own stepdaughter. I am so sorry Galina. I wish I could do more.
Author galina reimers Posted February 2, 2006 Author Posted February 2, 2006 yes,I print some things from internett ,like a porno victems and show to him that own father can be denger to his own kids,,,He sAid that ;"you are nuts". I',m from Mount olive NC 28365.Have no family here,,but I have friends in FL.My husband now start akting that he is fine,that he no watching anything,,said to me;"you have no proof,you are creasy and ,I 'll take baby way from you".I do not want my baby be with him,,,I'm going to councler on monday hope it 's can help.I have green card but not american passport.need some information more ;;it's truth that if I have no proof that he can take way from me my baby"? thnak you ,Galina P.S.;now I'm thinking ,why it's never been open galina,,,,,
lindya Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 I'm going to councler on monday hope it 's can help.I have green card but not american passport.need some information more ;;it's truth that if I have no proof that he can take way from me my baby"? thnak you ,Galina P.S.;now I'm thinking ,why it's never been open galina,,,,, Galina - you need to see a lawyer about all this.
Mz. Pixie Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 The problem is Galina, he doesn't think he has a problem, so showing him all of that is only going to make him angry. Don't talk about it anymore while you're planning. Pretend everything is okay until you can get some help. Please see a lawyer. Maybe the counselor can refer you to one that would help you for a discount or even free.
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