Bad Day, Bad Month

[fomerlyniceguy]

This has been the worst day, of the worst month. I am not sure how much I can take of this. Work has been terrible this month too much to do and not enough time, it culiminated today with me and my supervisor face to face screaming at each other. My stbxw and I thought we were going to sell our house, our last chance to keep it out of foreclosure and the deal fell through. My mother called to tell me that my father has been having problems with losing strength in his arms and legs over the last week, Yesterday he fell in the front yard and neither one of them could get him up. The doctor thinks there might be something seriously wrong with him. My stbxw still talk because there is a child involved, not my biological child, but I still care for him a great deal. We met the other day to talk about some stuff, one thing that was brought up was "being friends". I clammed up at the time. The next day I wrote an email to her laying out what I would considered being friends meant to me. She wrote back saying she appreciated the email, was busy but wanted to think about her response over the weekend and email this week. Well I haven't seen anything, and it is becoming increasingly clear she doesn't want to be friends. On top of that I had hockey tickets for this weekend with a friend of mine. His parents decided to make a suprise visit this weekend so I have an extra ticket and everyone is already has plans. Not that big a deal except that I was really looking forward to it, and needed a night out. Someone tell me that things are going to be better. I know they will, just be nice to hear it from someone else.

[Art_Critic]

The good news is that I'm free and I love Hockey ..

 

 

Sorry you have had a rough one.. sometimes things happen all at once but they get better..

 

The stbxw thing will work out however it odes.. but it will.. and the rest .. you will have a great week next week

[fomerlyniceguy]

I'll cover the tickets, if you buy the beer. After this week I am sure I would come out ahead.

[In Sync]

I am sorry that you are having a rough ride now, but it will pass. We ALL have these dominoes of bad days but you know what accept it and throw your hands up, sometimes you just have to walk through the

SH*T in order to get to the other side. And when you do, you'll be so grateful for great things that are waiting for you. Until then just don't fight it or resist it...Just say 'OK' to what happens. Fighting or resistance against having a bad day only makes it worse. But when you accept that right now you are crap time, you'll be able to handle whatever comes your way with calmness and peace. The tide will turn.

[UT_longhorn]

keep your head up man. that contact sets you back some and im sure thats the reason why you feel like this.

 

keep up the no contact. when youre feelings are settled..then you can maintain friendship and have a relationship with her child.

[riobikini]

Dear FNG,

 

Hey! -I was just looking through your replies, first, to be sure none of them was the friggin' IRS, before I responded.

 

(Smile)

 

Looks like you're OK there, so I'm not afraid to add my name to your list of posters.

 

('nother Smile)

 

Look, you've had a crummy month, we've all had those days where we thought the next straw would be the last one we could handle.

 

But we find out we're tougher, -more resilient, -and if something else goes sour, or the worst does, indeed, make an unwelcome visit into our lives, -we normally survive it.

 

As far as the chance of losing material things, -I actually think if you look for other options to keep your house, you will find they exist, and that foreclosure can probably be prevented.

 

But keep in mind, that material things are unnecessary for starting over, anyway.

 

You begin all over by starting to build back the 'basics': a place to sleep, eat and shower, transportation, a job, etc. -but even before you have assurance of those things, you have 'you'.

 

You are the hub of a wheel with a lot of spokes that will, from time to time, throughout your life, get replaced, or just roll for awhile with some of them missing until they can be replaced.

 

It doesn't affect your integrity to function, nor your worth, nor your potential to be 'whole' again, -it rather, proves the strength of your original design, and it's ability to roll on even though a spoke or two may be missing.

 

You are not aware of your strength until you are rolling.

 

So don't stop.

 

Keep moving.

 

Go to the hockey game by yourself, and if you can't give the ticket to someone before you go, take it with you and give it to someone on the way to the game.

 

Be a good listener for your mom, -she probably needs it, with this worrisome thing going on with your dad.

 

Give your dad a hug, -the remote control, and a beer, and let him know you're there to listen, too, if he needs it.

 

Let your ex make whatever moves she feels comfortable with regarding remaining friends, -but you consider your own feelings and what you can handle before saying 'yes' to anything.

 

Keep in touch with the child, -do not let his world suffer the pain of not having you, simply because two adults had to made a hard decision.

 

He needs to know that your love for him was not dependent on your love for his mother, -and you need to prove that- it is your responsibility to another human heart, -not part of a divorce agreement.

 

Apologize to your Supervisor, -not necessarily because you were at fault for anything regarding whatever it was you were screaming at each other about, -but because it simply is not acceptable behavior to scream at anyone, when you, as a thinking human being, have the ability to reason and work out problems in other, more acceptable ways.

 

Set it all straight, one problem at a time.

 

I promise you'll feel better about all of it.

 

Then go home and have yourself a bowl of ice cream, and maybe some milk and cookies before bed.

 

(Smile)

 

Keep posting.

 

It's gonna be OK.

 

Yours,

-Rio

 

P.S. A little something for your brain today:

 

" The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it. "

- Chinese Proverb

[soar eyes]

FNG,

Sometimes when things hit they hit harder than what we expect and are ready for.

 

Try to feel the light at the end of the tunnel, its there and you are going to see it with all of the issues that your facing.

 

You know sometimes when I have numerous issues that face me. I prioritize them by life /death situations. Sometimes I have to let one of them just ride out the course without my input during the pouring down of many issues..

 

Your dad could have a diagnosis of many things. The first priority with him is safety and to see his PMD who may send him to a neurologist and cardiologist. Then perhaps if you have support from his brothers and sisters, and as many relatives that you have to make sure that his daily needs are met, that is according to his level of functioning. Quality time with him is important.

 

Your house, can you refinance it for now to buy you some time and perhaps sell it down the road?

 

Your child and your wife.

 

Children are always the ones that get the rotten end of the stick. No matter how things turn out spend as much quality time with her/him.

 

Your wife and the friend thing, Is it that important right now to worry about? You have so much more on your plate right now.

 

Things will get so much better, but you might have to brace your self first.

 

People always use to say to me that everything always turns out o.k. I truly believe it but we have to have much faith for it to happen.

[fomerlyniceguy]

I appreciate the support I am hoping it will be better today. My brother decided he wanted to go to the hockey game so that is on, which is good I need a night out having fun. My father has an appointment with a nueroligist next week, hopefully it won't be any thing too serious. The house I am not so sure about we have exhausted a lot of options so far, hopefully something will come up. I still intend to be part of my stepsons life, although it is difficult at times, it has to be on his terms as to when he wants to see me, at six they tend to forget at times. While I don't feel about my wife the same way I used to, it still seems difficult to let it go completely. I guess that may take time. My suporvisor and I will make amends I am sure we always do, we are both strong willed when we think we are right, Hopefully today will be better.

[riobikini]

Hope things are getting better.

 

Post an update whenever you are ready.

 

(Smile)

 

-Rio