allforujs Posted February 1, 2006 Posted February 1, 2006 hi everyone...new here. i am just wondering if seperation is something i should be thinking about. i have been married for ove a year now and since the start...my husband throws " divorce" in my face. i know he isnt happy with me at the moment...i have bi-polar disorder and my meds arent up to par. ( i am seeing someone to get it fixed ) it takes time. i am trying really hard to chnage my behavior pattern but i am not sure if it is working. he comes home and hides in the computer room all night playing his stupid little games. i make him upset and he is depressed. he is partly depressed because a girl at work whom i will call jenny...well she LOVES to flirt with him and he likes to tell her our personal business...i cant be sure but i think he may be falling for her. she is this "spectacular" woman (his words) and no matter what happens..he always sticks up for her. i think he is falling for her ( but could it be my bi-polar getting in the way)? he denied it when i confronted him in front of my therapist. he keeps on deying it. i suggessted aeperation but he just gets mad at me. i am saying it so that maybe we could spend sometime apart and take a good look at our selves and be happy again. any thoughts???
Mz. Pixie Posted February 1, 2006 Posted February 1, 2006 I think he's having at the least an emotional affair with this person. Do some investigating on his computer to see what he's been up to. Install a keylogger and check his cell phone records.
Author allforujs Posted February 1, 2006 Author Posted February 1, 2006 yes, i aggree...however..i cant check his computer..he lovks ot...it was becasue of an incident that happened a while ago...his mother wrote him an email that was extremely rude and mean towards me. i confronted him about it and he was mad because i broke into his email. i should have been told about it but i wasnt. that is an issue with me still. but that tipic is a different time and day kinda thing. i dont think he loves me anymore. i asked him if he was happy with me the other day and he ignored me and said he wasnt going to answer such a silly question. i dont think he loves me and i just want to know so i can move on. i would be very sad and hurt... but if he dosent love me then why should i stick around. as you can tell..i am not that great looking..."jenny is thinner" jenny does everything by herself...jenny dosent need a man to dress up for, jenny is so attractive" i dont want to do this anymore...i just want to know what i need to do and i need him to tell me
Author allforujs Posted February 1, 2006 Author Posted February 1, 2006 well mz pixie..i think you are correct..i went through some phone records and there were calls to her from his number. he wrote me this letter on the 24th i think: J"ust wanted to let you know, you got your wish. Apparently, I did something to piss Jenny off but, much like you, she refuses to talk to me about it. I have not a clue as to what I did wrong. I have barely spoken to her since the week before Thanksgiving because she seemed inconvinienced by me or that I was a nuisance. That was about the time that Martin was telling me stories about what he was hearing in the LBTS about Jamie and jenny. So I stayed away from her. I don't know what I could have done to upset her so much. She won't tell me either. She only says that she doesn't think we should talk anymore unless it is business related. I don't know why she wants it that way but I figured you'd be happy to know that. So if I seem depressed, that's why. Do me a favor though, whether you are happy, sad, mad, whatever, do not ask me if you can, do not even think about trying to talk to her yourself. I don't need any further aggravation. Just stay out of it and be happy that you don't have to feel "threatened" by her or give me lame excuses like you "don't trust her". Just forget she even exists. " by this email..it seems like he is really upset..he says it is because he lost a freind...what does everyone else think???
Curmudgeon Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 I'm around, for what it's worth. A couple of points. Being bipolar is no excuse for shoddy treatment from your husband. My wife is also bipolar but the illness doesn't define her or make me lov3e her any less. It's simply something we live with. In fact, I'm the one who tentatively diagnosed her after four years of marriage. Before that she'd gone undiagnosed and untreated for 40 years. As you well know, and your husband should, the medications often require change or different doses and each time it takes time to adjust and for the meds to work. It's simply the nature of the beast and requires patience. If your avatar is your picture, I think you're quite attractive and if your husband is making you feel that you're not, especially in comparison to Jenny, then I think he's a mutt. I'm convinced he's also having an emotional affair at the very least. He's giving a whole new meaning to the term, "office wife" and that's not something you should have to put up with. You're quite right. If he doesn't love you, and worse, doesn't value and cherish you, there's no need for you to hang around. You deserve better.
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