incognito Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 Not looking for any advice really....just need to vent It's been one week of NC, and 2 weeks since I found out he was married. I just feel like I just meant nothing to him, it's so devastating...even though he's a jerk for lying to me and cheating on his wife.
Art_Critic Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 I heard ya.. keep venting.. and make the NC permanant.. what an assclown
BUTAFLY Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 Not looking for any advice really....just need to vent It's been one week of NC, and 2 weeks since I found out he was married. I just feel like I just meant nothing to him, it's so devastating...even though he's a jerk for lying to me and cheating on his wife. All I can say is your going to crave communication for answers, apologies and the sort but don't. I am communciating with my now MM and its like pouring salt on the wound. It slows down the healing process. I dated an engaged man for almost a year when I found out he was to be married in a few days. I was deeply devestated, expecially when he returned from his honeymoon all tan and flashing his wedding band. but its been a year now and he thinks its time to swash everything and be friends. I try but deep down it hurts too much. So stay away...Its better for you in the long run.
Author incognito Posted January 31, 2006 Author Posted January 31, 2006 All I can say is your going to crave communication for answers, apologies and the sort but don't. Actually....I've already gone through all that....we've already talked, I've got all the answers and apologies I'm gonna get. Right now...I'm wanting to contact him to find out how things are going w/ his wife, find out what's going on in his head, etc. I know I can't. But that's what I'm wanting to do. I not only lost a BF, but a best friend, and I am completely utterly lost right now.
AnchorManagement Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 I not only lost a BF, but a best friend, You established a best-friendship with someone who never told you he was married? That's low. There are as many reasons for cheating as there are people who cheat, but on the justification scale (let's assume there is one) your guy ranks right near the bottom. Not only was the situation not what you expected, but neither was the person. I'm sorry. 1
newbby Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 You established a best-friendship with someone who never told you he was married? That's low. There are as many reasons for cheating as there are people who cheat, but on the justification scale (let's assume there is one) your guy ranks right near the bottom. Not only was the situation not what you expected, but neither was the person. I'm sorry. good post. in this kind of situation, you find it hard to get closure because you are never sure how much of it was a lie, feel used etc. it is best to think the whole of it was a lie, accept it, and move on. what you lost was an illusion anyway. best of luck to you in moving on from this.
iamtrying Posted February 1, 2006 Posted February 1, 2006 dont worry... i just went through the whole cycle. i am in the exact same situation as you are ... my xMM lied to me too about his maritial status. The initial period is tough and it will take time to get over it. i am still trying my best to forget about the whole episode and move on. it may still hurt but time does help to numb the pain .... dont worry
Author incognito Posted February 1, 2006 Author Posted February 1, 2006 thanks everybody I appreciate the encouragement
BUTAFLY Posted February 1, 2006 Posted February 1, 2006 inconginto said: Right now...I'm wanting to contact him to find out how things are going w/ his wife, find out what's going on in his head, etc. why? you already said you got all the answers your going to get and i'm guessing you happy with that. I bet you really don't want to know how happy he is It is tough hearing it, trust me. I'm in contact with my exMM (we work together) and he tells me things about her, the things they do, their V-day plans, ect and it is reall tough to take. All the things he describes is what we planned. your (we) are holding on a fantacy,of what could have been. Not only was the situation not what you expected, but neither was the person. newbby is right closure is just not there you will never truely know what part of the relationship was real or make believe. if you don't need to speak to him, don't!
Recommended Posts