Delicaterose00 Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 Hello. To fill you in on my situation. I met my ex through my cousin and now Husband. My ex is my Cuz's husbands bestfreind. Now, I never had this problem. When my boyfreinds were out of my life they were out and I moved on better... but this one.. its like.. he is going to be a part of mine forever. I always have to ask before I come over my cuz's house if he will be there or not, and when she and her husband have a party for their kids or something I wont go if he is there. ( 2 year relationship we had ended in May when he decided to pick the girl he was cheating on me with) . It makes me mad that everytime I talk to her or her husband I think about him and act as if they are related to him. sometimes I cant help talking about him or asking about him, and I hate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have a hard enough time trying to get him off my mind now. I am almost done with the healing process, not puking and having sleepless nights anymore.. just have sad moments here and there.. normal stuff, but how do I deal with this??? Im tired of people telling me, oh.. let him see you, let him know your fine without him.. but you know what.. thats the point.. all teh memories I dont need rushing back, I dont need to see and hear all the thing he did and said to me when we were dating doing to his new girlfreind.. ( not really new, from what she says they were dating 3 months before we broke up) anyways.. how do I deal with this? I didnt even see my cousin or go over there for like... 5 months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And now I guess I have only been there twice since my break up with him.... It sucks I always have to ask if hell be there if I come over.. or to tell them to call him and let him know not to stop by cause Im there... I dont want to have eto think of him anymore!
ThatOneGuy Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 I kinda go through a similar thing. Im in High School, I see my Ex everyday with her new boyfriend (Hahaha, He's a fugly loser). She wont talk to me anymore, because I push her away with nasty words. You shouldn't let this guy stop your life, if he tries to talk to you just be mean to him. Well, that works for me anyway. Im kind of a jerk, but I really wouldn't let this stop you from coming and going as you please. I don't know why you would miss him, he betrayed you. I would feel a profound hate for this guy, he's wronged you in more ways then one.
Author Delicaterose00 Posted January 31, 2006 Author Posted January 31, 2006 Well see.. I cant hate anyone I love.. never have been able too. Im 24 ya know... we looked at rings.. we looked at where we were going to live... we even lived together... high school love is different than grown up love I think. But thanks for trying to help.
littlekitty Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 Are you genuinely close with your cousin, or more interested because you'll get info on your ex? If you genuinely have a close friendship with your cousin that you want to continue, surely you can explain the issue to her? Perhaps agree that every 2nd Friday you'll be there, and that the ex has to stay clear so that you can both continue to have your friendships. If it's a close friendship she would surely be willing to work with you so that you felt happy when you were over there? But I sense you may be holding on this contact more because of your ex? You seem to be getting passed all the information about him and his new gf? Isn't that inflaming the situation? Can't you tell your cousin not to mention this stuff? If your cousin can't/won't help you in making a plan that allows you to visit as well, then you might have to go your seperate way until you can move on. I know how it feels, it is painful. I had to work with someone I fell for, for over a year after we broke up. It prolonged the pain and made it far worse.
Author Delicaterose00 Posted January 31, 2006 Author Posted January 31, 2006 Yes, we used to be very close... and I dont bring Mike up all the time and ask for info.... I mean I hardly go over there as it is. I told both of them that I dont want MIke there when I come over.... Im like.. dude.. Im your family.. not him!!!! So they know.. but I still ask and I still worry about it when i am there. No, she wont come to my house... she could but always an excuse.. its hard to explain.. i guess I just cant go over there a lot.
littlekitty Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 Sounds like maybe she doesn't hold your friendship as dear to her as you do. My friends would be willing to do more to make me more comfortable. I would just try to visit every month or so for now to stay in contact, but not have the situation pushed down your neck every week! Hope you feel better soon...
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