Asometry Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 They were together for four years and it ended about six months ago; there's still a lot of pain and negativity associated with it. She and I became a thing about a month ago, and I'm trying to decide how to treat v-day knowing that it's their anniversary. I'm sure it'll be a delicate time for her. Should I pretend it's any other day? Should we move Valentine's day to next month? Should I give her a baggie of candy hearts and a peck on the cheek? share your ideas...
bumbaclot Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 IMHO i'd treat it as a regular V day. Don't think about her past and try not to make her think of that. Just enjoy yourself and let her enjoy herself too.
Walk Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 I have a couple suggestions.. One, ask her how she feels about V-day and what she expects. What was normal for her in the past? How was it celebrated? What's her ideal V-day? Second, make it completely different. Forgo the candy and roses and traditional V-day gifts. (I don't know what she likes, so I'm just going to offer some suggestions) Take her wall climbing. Go see a national monument. Make a picnic basket and take her to the park (if cold stay indoors but decorate the apartment with paper palm tree's or something). Try something neither of you has tried before (snowboarding? or canoeing?). Are there things she's said she's wanted to try, or do? Places she's said she wants to go? Things she's wanted to see? These might not help. It's going to be a hard day for her no matter what you do, but maybe if you can make it off-beat enough it will be different enough to not remind her of her ex. Instead it'll create memories for the two of you. As long as you remember that romantic doesn't mean "halmark", but time and effort spent showing someone you love them. 1
littlekitty Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 Walk's suggestions sound good. However, I would do as Walk suggests and ASK HER first. She may want to do something completely different, but she may not. She may be horribly upset if she doesn't get the usual Valentines stuff!! A simple conversation with her is the best thing.. and you know what? That you care enough to ask is romantic in itself...!!
mintjulep Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 I think that the suggestions to talk to her about it are correct, but don't taaaalk about it. Just bring it up casually to get a sense of how she feels, and then plan accordingly. The thing is, even though it would be a delicate time for her, she's clearly figured she's ready to move on, at least on some level, or she wouldn't be with you. She can't wallow in her past forever, and valentine's will eventually have to be about the two of you as a couple, so why not start right away? Moving it to next month seems kind of silly because then what are you even celebrating? Still, I don't know her, or you - so broaching the topic with her is probably the best way to play this out.
Brittanyjean06 Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 Me and my ex broke up 6 months ago, and V day would be our 3 year anniversary..just thought i might say but yeah do things differently! sounds like a good idea to me
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