clynn Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 My boyfriend appeared for a short while to be acting somewhat distant and aloof. This is at the same time that I am preparing to write a big exam. So, I partially have wondered if he on purpose is giving me space to force me to focus on studying. Also, he has taken up some new sporting activities and that feels like a pull away from me. THEN, most recently, to add to this when we spoke a few days ago he had a couple problems 1) he injured himself playing sports and 2) he is taking medication (up the rear, the poor dear) for an as-yet unidentified problem at the back-end. So, I've just let him be for a few days and haven't phoned him. It seemed obvious this was something he was going to have to deal with on his own, so I haven't phoned or anything. But this most recent unfortunate situation combined with his previous aloofness has me worried. I mean....I would hope that he would at least want to talk to me a little, but I haven't heard anything from him. I wonder if he is giving me space, as I said, to study, or getting me ready for the old heave ho.
Author clynn Posted February 4, 2006 Author Posted February 4, 2006 Well..........we talked yesterday. (I mean we've talked other than that, but we actually got together yesterday and so addressed the current topic) As I said before it seemed apparent that there was distance that he was putting between us. So by the time we saw each other yesterday it was obvious one or the other of us would mention it and it did indeed just come up, it was the elephant in the room. Basically it started because, at the end of the night, he wanted to not sleep overnight together, which is farily standard for how we conclude our dates, and often enjoy a morning together following. sniff, sniff. He said that he wants to keep things just as they are pretty much but to try cutting out the physical stuff and see what happens. Indeed he confirmed that he had been keeping himself busy with all sorts of new activities. He said that he was making a choice in a way to distance himself to see how it felt and he said that he felt that okay with the space, and this was a bit of a test for himself to see how vested in the relationship he was as he is uncertain if he could see it developing into something more serious. He said he was getting a lot of questions and pressure from his family to move the relationship along .... and this made him think he better know what he wants. SO, definitely not how I wanted this to be. I'm very sad of course. I didn't cry with him at all. Somehow as I get older, I don't take these things as hard - or at least I'm not as outwardly emotional. He very much wants to still spend time together and going out and talking, etc. For now he just wants the physical to stop. I told him I couldn't really comment on how I would feel until a bit of time had past as right now I just feel sad. As foolish as I know this sounds, I still have hope that things may change. But at least I know I"m foolish and that hope just comes from a place that, until very recently, believed we were developing closer and closer all the time.
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