vishalsp Posted January 30, 2006 Posted January 30, 2006 Hi, I've been going out with a girl for close to 2 years. We've been through a lot! Recently I've been feeling as if the relationship is not the way it used to be at the start. I still care for her lots but I don't feel that spark that we used to have - she brings it down to the fact that we're like an old married couple and does not think to much of it. I was wondering if couples eventually lose that 'thrill' that the have at the start of a relationship? Today I bought in the possibility of breaking up but did not tell her the whole truth (told her it's because I want to move to a different city to broaden my career options and she doesn't want to move there). She didn't take it too well so I gave her a call later and told her not to worry about it. I've been spending a lot of time with my old friends over our 2 month holidays (I'm a student at the moment) and realised how much I miss 'talking to the boys'. I also have these thoughts about seeing other girls (never act on them). I feel really bad and I don't think she has a clue that I'm feeling like this. We've discussed breaking up several times but for different reasons - career (see above) and family (we are from different ethnic groups and my family REALLY REALLY hates the idea of us going out). I'm the sort of guy that could just carry on and let the relationship go on for another year or two and settle for it. But i'm not sure whether it's the right thing to do. I still really care for her and couldn't imagine the way things would be without each other. It's been bugging me for about 3 days now and have just woke up from my sleep at 2am thinking about it. The main reason I don't know if I should tell here is if... 1) what i'm feeling is just a phase...and i'll get through it. 2) if it's not a phase i just can't imagine what things would be like without her (she is in my class and lives in the same apartment complex which would make things really hard plus I spend so much time with her it feels as if we are co-dependent on each other). What I feel about my moving for my career and family pressures still hold true (she is aware of this).... but she doesn't know about the lack of spark i feel in our relationship or the fact i wonder what single life would be like. I'm not sure what to do. Any advice appreciated. I'm sure the answer lies within my post. Thanks, Vi
WindDrifter Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 Wanting to be with other girls is not a good sign. You need to be honest with your feelings and ask yourself do you really want to be with this girl. About the fizz and excitement I am going through the same thing at the moment. My gf broke up with me about a month ago and now we are dating again doing the things we did when we first got together. I think you can take each other for granted sometimes and it is important for both partners to sit down and plan some things to do together that is out of the norm. Go dancing. learn a language or some pottery. Maybe even go to a cooking course. Go away for the weekend. Surprise each other. Talk to her! Be honest! You owe her this as least. Good Luck
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