Argentina Posted January 30, 2006 Posted January 30, 2006 Will try to keep it brief and to the point. Couple of months ago met a lovely man in his late 30's and I believe we really connect. He is a farmer and lives several hours away from me, but the distance is not the problem. I have two children and have had a hysterectomy for health reasons, so unable to have any more. He has always been single and has told me that he has a niggling desire to have his own children. He knows I can't have anymore but seemed happy to continue seeing me. He has not met my children, but that wasn't really an issue to either of us. Basically, 10 days ago I called off the relationship. I told him honestly that I knew I would get more involved with him and was scared of being hurt. Scared that ultimately it would end because he wanted someone he could have children with. He told me that he did not want to use me as an interim relationship while he found "the right woman". He wants to settle down with someone. On one hand he tells me that he could learn to love someone elses kids like his own. On the other, he says he still has this niggle in the back of his mind that he would like his own children. He doesn't want to spend the rest of his life with no close relationship, but on the other hand how long does he wait to find the "woman to have a child". He was disappointed I cooled things off with him, but was totally understanding. We have spoken once since then, had a few text messages. Just general day to day conversation, nothing too deep. Each day I regret my decision, because maybe he could have learned to love me and my kids, but then on the other hand I know I am protecting my heart. Has anyone ever been in this position? Do I go with my heart or my head on this one? I am a practical and logical thinker, but I miss him and I am pretty sure he misses me too. What to do?
Lishy Posted January 30, 2006 Posted January 30, 2006 As I see it you are going through the 'broken heart' thing with no solid reason. He could go on to meet a woman who has not had a hysterectomy but is unaware that she cannot have children. He could turn out to be a great surrogate dad to your own children and lose all desire to have a child of his own. You will never know until you try - Just speak to him openly and listen to what he says and try not to second guess what he says! Take the risk - It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all! That is my opinion anyway!
hyakku Posted January 30, 2006 Posted January 30, 2006 Why!? Go back if he will let you, life is a risk stop being so concerned about getting hurt and enjoy your life.
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