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Posted

At what point do you all consider it LD? 30 miles? 50 miles? 100 miles?

 

I've been seeing a girl who lived very close by. We've only been dating for 2 months. We saw each other almost everyday because she lived only 3 miles away. Now she lives about 45 miles away so it's not that far away, but it's like marinating in a hot tub and then jumping into an ice cold pool -- a big of shock adjustment. It's not like we didn't see it coming, but it is difficult seeing each other only once or twice a week (if at all) after living so close together.

 

We've decided that the distance is hardly an issue and we're going to continue our relationship.

Posted

I think it isn't distance that decides that.. it can be the number of times you see her because of the distance.

 

ie:.. if your are 75 miles apart that is alot of miles to travel all the time but possible to see each other each week.. so it would not be..

But if because of the 75 miles you only see each other once a month then I think it would be a LDR

Posted

I don't think distance matters either! It's the number of times you see her per week. I really don't know how long it takes to travel 45 miles, and if you have your car or not. But, if you see her often enough or as much as you need, then the distance is not an issue whatsoever...

Posted

Yes. I would call those MDRs. Medium Distance Relationships. It takes a bit of effort to get there, but at the same time, you can relatively simply plan to visit each other - and in principle if the (work / university) schedules would allow, still see each other daily or almost daily. That depends a bit on the availability / possession of a car. 45 miles seems to be doable in 1 hour of traveling, unless you live in one of the metropoles with constant traffic jams.

 

Long Distance, are those relationships were that does not apply anymore. Then the term distance can be a bit deceptive, as the problem might also be the border (in European countries, that is more of an issue, though).

  • Author
Posted

Thanks, all. I never looked at frequency overcoming actual physical distance. I do have a car, and so does she. I'm 24 and she's 18. However, the next month or so will be difficult because I can't drive. I was recently involved in a pretty bad accident where someone smashed into me after they ran a red light. So, things are going to be a little tricky until I recover from my injuries.

 

At any rate, I appreciate all the advice.

Posted

She can drive. If you are limited for a short while, she will understand. And make adjustments to your possibilities (while not forgetting your daily life). Do not overdramatize your short-term limitations though.

 

You know your body and your injuries best. Talk with her - she will know that you are honest with her. Depending on schedules the both of you might want to try to synchronize the time the two of you have available for your own pursuits, so you can spend the time together.

 

And after the issue has disappeared, you might want to repay her, by making a bit of extra effort, and showing your considerate side.

 

It should turn out fine.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Seven times zones and the problem of being on different schedules comes into play. When I am getting to work, she is on her last hour and out the door. So I have to e-mail her first thing if we want a quick live exchange. Cell phones make everything a lot less hassle. I can call her via calling cards for 4 cents a minute from my truck in the parking lot at the office for privacy. Without e-mail and cell phones LDRs would be very harsh.

Posted

Yep over 11,000 miles apart! About as long distance as you can get without falling off the plane.:p 13 hour time difference but we managed to chat for hours and hours daily for over a year.

 

I'm here now and it takes him about an hour by train/bus to get here but sooooo much better than having to travel almost to outter space to get here. :D

Posted

An LDR is something you should never ever ever get into. It will eat up your soul, and you will suffer in torment for NOTHING!

Posted

You know, Israfil, you can be right next to a person and still have a long distance between you. The key is not to have a horrible time while you are appart and have a plan set that gets you together at some point. It's like your tour of duty, you have to know when it ends. Not knowing when it ends, if ever...well that's another story. In that case I would agree with you.

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