Just dumped, by boyfriend...who will still pay rent...leave his cat here etc etc

[cmcb]

After 2 1/2 years ossharing my life with a good guy, who made fell protected and love for all this time....who's family adored me and I adored them...who my daughter also adored...with whom I created a family...one friday ask me to change plans for dinner...because he wanted to go out with the guys (strange...but what the hell!) next morning serve me breakfast in bed and apologize for dinner had dinner with me that night everything continue normally until the next tuesday he send me an email since you are taking your daughter to ballet i'll hang out for a while in the bar and I said ok he never came late home always around 9 or 10...still felt strange because it was during the week...so I decided to ask the next morning... are we OK?.....SURPRISE SURPRISE!!! dead silence!!! what happens if I tell you we are not...I'm unhappy and I'm not sure!...tha was his answer...that night told me he felt neglected and that there was no contact between us (which he is right...I'm guilty of that...I've been suffering from depression and it seems made shut down as soon as I got home to him and my daughter) It breaks my heart that i've neglected the two people loved the most and he is extremely hurt he felt he did everything in teh house in the relationship and i never came up to the plate...true again,,i depended too much on him because I felt confortable....Know I'm in limbo....missing him like crazy and not being able to cope with the pain and guilt....I started caounseling and antidepressants because I cannot aford to loose my job I'm a single mom...He says he is doing this with an open mind because he doesnt know what is goign to happen in the future that is why he wants me to stay in the apartment and also doesnt want to uproot my daughter...supposedly this is just time to figure out....but he doesnt want to give me false hopes!....

 

Please advise, my pain is terrible never thought the person I trusted the most with whom I never had huge arguments who brought peace and comfort to my life whom more that my boyfriend was my partner will come out with this one...I knew he was not ready to commit but always showed his love for us in so many ways...until last week when suddenly the love was gone.

 

I'm afraid of loosing my sanity, and hope that things can get better after all this pain. i just want peace again..with or without.

[jennifer1983]

Well I would like to say I can sympathize with your situation. I am probably not the best at giving advice but I have also pushed many people away in the past. The only thing you can do at this point is to let him have his space because if you beg and plead with him right now it will only just push him farther away. I can understand your pain because you had no idea he felt that way but there is nothing you can do about that. Just the thought of that is what kills me all the time.

You did say something about him not wanting to commit...maybe this is too much for him or maybe he wasn't happy with having so many responsibilities. He should have came to you before he wanted to leave but then again it wouldn't have stopped him from doing what he wanted.

Things happen for a reason, maybe this will help you realize in your future relationships to appreciate and not neglect who you are with.

But for now, I know nothing anybody says will help but it helps me in times like this to just put it in my head that it really is over that way I won't pine over something that may not ever happen again. Focus on yourself right now though.

[Lishy]

It sounds to me like you are using him as a crutch - Now all of a sudden that crutch is gone and you are falling down!

 

Life for you was great as he was there doing everything for you and not even complaining. Life for him cant have been as good as yours hon. I am not saying this to be horrible I am saying it so you can change and get this wonderful man back!

 

My advice is this - Leave him alone, do not contact him at all, respect his with to have time to work things out. Let me tell you this, if you pester him and keep calling, mailing or texting him then he will want to run even further. IMHO the only way you have a chance of getting him back is to let him go!

 

I was in his position with my ex - He was happy as hell as I was there to do everything, I was so miserable I hated even being home!