Quivette Posted January 29, 2006 Posted January 29, 2006 I've been dating this guy for almost two years. 5 months ago, I caught him flirting with a girl whom he claims to be an "internet friend". Later, he admitted that there were 5 or 6 others. His defense was, that he's never met most of them in person. Another, flirting isnt considered cheating because there is no sex involved. I feel confused. But more, I feel very insecure. How much flirting, is considered cheating? Or, is flirting even considered as cheating... at all?
cedric4691 Posted January 29, 2006 Posted January 29, 2006 I think it counts as cheating if he concealed or attempted to conceal it from you. Cyber cheating like this can be a first step toward "in-person" cheating, as numerous other posts to these forums reveal. How do you think he would like it if you flirted online with a bunch of men? Why not try it, let him catch you, and then throw his little excuses back in his face.
slubberdegullion Posted January 29, 2006 Posted January 29, 2006 Just the fact that he hid it from you should tell you something. It may or may not lead to actual person-to-person physical contact, but it's emotional straying nonetheless. Don't do the same, though. Don't flirt with guys online just to get back at him; that will only cause conflict. Just give him an ultimatum: virtual relationships with people he's never met, or a real relationship with a woman who's warm, smart and willing. I know which line I'd be in.
tinktronik Posted January 29, 2006 Posted January 29, 2006 If it makes you uncomfortable, and youve told him this .That should be enough .
lilacmist Posted January 29, 2006 Posted January 29, 2006 The trouble with flirty online relationships, is that they can seem harmless to start off with, but they can quickly lead to something more. An 'emotional attachment' can develop between the two parties involved and once there is an emotional attachment, this is when it becomes 'cheating'. And this is when your 'real' troubles begin. If he continues to chat online with these other women, he puts himself at risk of becoming 'emotionally involved' with one of them, or one of them becoming 'emotionally attached' to him or both of them becoming 'emotionally attached' to each other. Emotional attachments are hard to sever once they are formed and are damaging to a relationship. He needs to stop now!
Curmudgeon Posted January 29, 2006 Posted January 29, 2006 time, energy and attention away from you and your relationship then it's cheating. As always, just one man's opinion!
incognito Posted January 30, 2006 Posted January 30, 2006 The trouble with flirty online relationships, is that they can seem harmless to start off with, but they can quickly lead to something more. An 'emotional attachment' can develop between the two parties involved and once there is an emotional attachment, this is when it becomes 'cheating'. And this is when your 'real' troubles begin. If he continues to chat online with these other women, he puts himself at risk of becoming 'emotionally involved' with one of them, or one of them becoming 'emotionally attached' to him or both of them becoming 'emotionally attached' to each other. Emotional attachments are hard to sever once they are formed and are damaging to a relationship. He needs to stop now! Well said. The internet is very real...people seem to forget this sometimes, but there is actually another live human being on the other end.
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