incognito Posted January 28, 2006 Posted January 28, 2006 I am looking for book recommendations on cheating and relationships from the perspective of the other woman. I recently found out that my BF of 2 yrs is married. I can find lots of books on infidelity, but they all seem to be geared towards the wife's perspective and repairing the marriage. Is there a book out there for the other woman who didn't know she was the other woman?
Citygirl17 Posted January 28, 2006 Posted January 28, 2006 Yes, there are some books from the OW perspective or advice for her. "Will He Really Leave Her for Me" by Rona B Subotnik "The 50 Mile Rule" by Judith Brandt "The New Other Woman: Contemporary Single Women in Affairs With Married Men" by Laurel Richardson "This Affair is Over" By Nanette Miner "The Other Woman's Guide to and from Infidelity" By Elisa Gough "Not Just Friends" By Shirley Glass I've read the first one and it was helpful in understanding the types of affairs and the reasons he may be in an EMA to begin with. I'm reading "Not Just Friends" now and there is a section for the affair partner (OW/OM) but it is mainly a book for BS and repairing the marriage after the affair. It's helpful (and sobering) though because it has real stories about affairs and what each person in the triangle went through. If you continue to be an OW it could be helpful to learn what not to do. If you type any of these titles or authors into amazon you will get additional results. Hope that helps!
BUTAFLY Posted January 28, 2006 Posted January 28, 2006 Boy do I feel for you!! I was the ow and didnt know it either (bf was engaged) I think that is particualary hard because we didnt have a choice. It put us in a position we never wanted to be, or chosen to be in. as for books their was a post a while back on this topic, try: Not "Just Friends" - by Shirley P. Glass Ph.D This woman is THE expert on explaining to anyone, being the MM, W or OW on how these extra-marital relationships start, what's going on for all parties whilst they're happening and the aftermath of the ending. It's brilliant... and she has researched this more than any other author I could find. "When Your Lover is a Liar" by Susan Forward. I Men Who Can't Love - Steven Carter and Julia Sokol Well, this book I read last - it's title made me think it was relevent. Afterall, he DID love me. I believe he did to this day. What he was, though, was a commitment phobic.... to both me and his wife... and the more I read this book... BOY did HE make sense to me. No matter who I could have been in his life, be it his spouse, lover, child, brother, sister, mother.. whatever... he IS who he IS... and that's someone who doesn't want to be alone, but can't give 100% commitment to anyone. THIS book is the one that stopped my tears. It stopped the pain. It will STOP me from having a relationship like this again myself. It's the book any W or OW should read... THEN see if you can honestly say he's commited to you. "Will He Really Leave Her For Me"
Author incognito Posted January 28, 2006 Author Posted January 28, 2006 Thank you so much, both of you
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