pandnh4 Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 hey everyone... my gf for over 7 months has decided to put her foot down this time and is really serious about breaking up... we've been fighting alot more over the past couple of months and have had several break-ups and make-ups... we've both been unreasonable at times in our own ways: name-calling, contempt, jealousy, resentment, degrading, etc... lately she has been crying alot, getting worked up over the littlest things (imho), demanding, and passive-aggressive... in an attempt to change my own ways, i've been keeping my mouth shut, holding back my temper, and taken a verbal beating for the past several weeks whenever something comes up that she's unhappy about... she is displeased about some of my female friends (to the point where she's asked me to cut them off), she disapproves of me tutoring a young girl (who she thinks ruins the fantasy of role-playing schoolgirl and teacher with me), she picks apart every little thing i do (and don't do), and constantly brings up things from the past... yet she claims she loves me and thinks i'm an awesome person... when we are together and i am able to calm her down and bear with her issues, things are fine... the moment i am gone, however, the slightest thing will set her off to the point that she starts up again, resenting me, not getting in touch with me or returning my calls, etc... a couple of days ago i went over to her place and she lashed out on me again and in all the drama decided to call for a break-up, once and for all... she says that i should know what to do, how to be, and should never make her feel jealous... matter of fact, she says that anyone who makes her feel jealous doesn't deserve to be with her... according to her, i should be this way, that way, say this, say that... she says that she's never been this way before and never had this problem or so much drama... she also states that she doesn't like who she's become and blames me for it... when i tell her that there are plenty of possible reasons to justify her feelings (such as her diet, her birth control, her drinking, etc...) she lashes out again saying that she's fine... she claims that i've ruined her self-esteem and even though i've been trying to help her restore it, she continues to be difficult with me... i've suggested couples therapy but that gets her more frazzled, nothing works... my therapist believes that she lost her trust in me a while back through some vicious things that i've said and done and, as a result, she is punishing me still... she may be impossible to reach out to anymore as the damage may be severe... she may be incapable of loving me anymore and growing with me... is there no solution? i know that all logic says that she is spoiled (read my other threads if you are interested; search my username), that she refuses to accept responsibility by constantly pushing all the blame to me, and has deep-rooted resentment that makes her feel like hurting me, etc... is there really no way to repair things or restore her trust in me? how can i get through to her? she's made her decision already and will barely talk to me but i still love her and this is really killing me... i can't eat, sleep, or get anything done at work... please help, any insight or support...
Author pandnh4 Posted January 28, 2006 Author Posted January 28, 2006 although nobody has posted any replies yet i would like to add some more details... hopefully some of you can provide some insight... what's particularly frustrating is that she had previously agreed with me to move past things and work on them together... i feel like i've done my part as best as i could so far but see nothing from her... what's worse is this whole incident last week was sparked by me going to my tutoring session... we had previously agreed that, although it made her uncomfortable, i would stop at the end of the semester (this was her request, as a compromise, when i even proposed to stop it altogether)... well i never heard back from her that night, and when i went to see her the next day she said she had been upset and decided to go out drinking with her roommate... then she said she had changed her mind... well, thanx for letting me know and trying to work through things... =( she flipped out after this and then began using *every* single past incident between us to fuel her fire and justify the breakup... how can someone agree, out of love, to work with someone and move past old issues, then one rainy day decide it's time to hang up the coat and bring everything up again... she won't talk to me, aside the occasional spiteful or sarcastic text message, and despite my comforting words and reasoning, she refuses to listen to anything... man, this is so painful... i bent over backwards for this girl on countless occasions and probably wouldn't stop there but she still refuses to see the good in me...
datboispiggs Posted January 29, 2006 Posted January 29, 2006 She's trying to get you hooked on her. Don't talk to her for a month. Seriously. Dont call her dont answer her calls. Soon she will realize what she had or sorry to say doesn't want but by then you'll be smacking ass with all the ladies so it won't matter. Picture this. She doesn't see you for 2 months, you're all depressed cause she dumped you, decide she wants to see you cause she's craving the skin flute. Do you want her to see you all sad and angry at her? No. She wants to see a positive guy with his **** together. So be that guy, then when she does want another go, make her earn it for all the time you spent wondering. The ball will be in your court dog. I went through this **** with my now ex (got rid of her for good and am much happier) for about a year it was good till she decided to lie about everything cause she thinks for some reason that she can do whatever the **** she wants. Sure when we got together she'd do things for me like borrow me money for like 3 days, but that doesnt mean I gotta put up with her bitchy attitude. I didnt talk to her, call her, see her, anything for 2 solid months (she claims 4 but thats becuase she was probably dating a guy while she was tasting spiggs meat) Then one day out of the blue, walks right in my house saying some **** about how she don't know who my friends are but they said I was flirting with chicks and hitting on chicks. Oh man what a large boner I had. All this time I sat and wondered what I did wrong in the relationship and she's the one that comes to me saying it's like she's obsessed with me. To cut a long story short, she's the same coniving bitch when I was with her, and she cries about everything. I never did anything right.. She said she's fed up with **** I said great thanks. MY buddies said she was trying to get us against eachother. I called her and told her to shut her ****ing mouth or I'll slap my cock in it. We aint together anymore. I told her dont think I'm pinning for you, I can call someone up right now and they'd be over her. WHich I did cause we bumped ugly's that night. Whoever said sex right after a break up isnt refreshing. Sure I miss her, but thats all in the past. No matter what happens in the future I've come to the conclusion that destiny is a path we choose. Dont let a woman... (! SINGLE WOMAN OUT OF MILLIONS) stop you from getting what you want. I ain't saying I'm gangsta but 2pac which I'm sure you heard of has one of the best sayings... M.O.B. Money over Bitches. Get that money, you'll be happier, ladies will see this and wanna know why you're such a stud. Who cares if she dates someone else. Just think of it as they gotta put up with the **** you did. Mines dating her best friend, he's a little bitch, her puppydog, her emotional tampon. I hope she has sex with him and realizes his cock cant compare to DATBOISPIGGS. Anyways I'm rambling. You got all the time in the world to be happy, you were with her 7 months? Grow a set dude, thats like 1/16 of your life. Take the other 15/16's and smack skins with anyone you want. Dont settle for anything less than what you deserve. Later Dog. Hang in there I was in your same emotional state, but once things start falling into place, the road less traveled becomes a frequent path. 1
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