BrotherD Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 So your sweetheart left?... Seems to be a recurring theme here at the LS... Common "surprises..." It came out of the blue... It blindsided me... We were having fun, we never argued. What happened? I was told "It's me not you..." Hmmm, the last "reason" is telling and caused me to have a "ah hah" moment... When they say "It's me, not you..." BELIEVE THEM I promise you if you review what you know about them, many unfinished projects are strewn in the wake. Jobs, friends, hobbies, dates, realtionships etc. Try it as an experiment. What do you know about your ex that was incomplete? You might be surprized to find out that MOST EVERYTHING WAS!!!! Where our heartache comes from is that we are so smitten with our "love" for them, that we didn't take inventory of what's happening around us!!!! The drug of "love" (and it is literally a drug) is racing through our viens and we don't take the time to reflect and say, "Hmmmm, they've had 10 jobs in 10 years... Dated last romantic interest for four years and never moved in... 30 mile long umbilical cord..." There is a pattern here!!!! And the lesson is... Take this experience and don't give your heart away so quickly. Qualify them like a job applicant. Process data, make decisions... I know it's not so easy when it comes to matters of the heart, but nothing could be worse than what we've been through! Let's take that scenario again, shall we? "10 jobs in 10 years... Dated last romantic interest for four years and never moved in... 30 mile long umbilical cord..." If they don't stick to anything except Mommie, why would they stick with me? THE DATA DOESN'T LIE! I promise you if you look back on your "relationship" you'll see the signs were there. And if we heeded the data we would have moved on!!!! Heartache avoided. Diginity intact. Bodyweight intact. Yeesh! We must filter these people with a fine tooth comb. The truth will be revealed.... SOOOOO We were blinded by their beauty (why do they have to be so god damned goodlooking?) and their sweetness, But ultimately it is our lack of data proccessing that has gotten us into this mess. Promise never to let it happen again. Take this lesson as a gift from God. A lesson that could only be learned on your knees, reeling in pain. Otherwise you'd go get a latte and go about your day in the usual lock step. Be grateful that this experience came your way. And when they say "It's me,not you," say, "Your right, it is YOU. I'm sorry you are unable to pull it together...Goodbye and I hope you find what you need in life.." AND THEN NO CONTACT FOREVER!!!! No posting about "she stubbed her toe and I want to break NC and see how she's doing..." NO CONTACT! There are millions of people out there who are not emotionally retarded! Screen and qualify one of them! Weed out the commitment phobes and losers... Nothing is perfect and even after a thorough screening, a relationship could go to hell in hand basket, but at least you'll increase you chances of success...And you'll find out sooner if they're just "not that into you.." And for all you folks out there with "3 days of NC" under your belt, you need to get real. Only time (and STRICT NC) will get you out of your funk (believe me I've been there..) but once you do, you must take this lesson and put into practice a game plan to reduce your chances of meeting the next "beautiful loser.." Let's do a sample test, just for kicks... Booze hound? Forget 'em Druggie? Ummm? No! 36 years old and still figuring out what what they're going to do for work? Sorry... Doesn't call? Ciao!! Unemployed? See ya! Live in another town? Later! Took ten years to get your BA? In filmaking? Sayonara! "Shy" buh bye! Want's to be a movie star? Ya better get on it! (Whatever!) Ten years older/younger? Adios! Nasty divorce with nasty kids? Hasta la vista baby Doesn't call much? Goodbye (Click!) Doesn't want to have to call you ? Incept Ejection sequence!!! See what I mean? Cheers BrotherD
niteowl Posted January 28, 2006 Posted January 28, 2006 Thank you BrotherD for putting it all into perspective and making me giggle!! I really needed this today
tinktronik Posted January 28, 2006 Posted January 28, 2006 well thats it im on your list...lol...yes, undatable....giggle
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