cygny Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 the two go together and cannot be separated. the one thing that seperates highly successful people for everyone else is arrogance, and this applies to both men and women. you don't think that Oprah is one arrogant beeyotch behind closed doors? diva-dom often accompanies talent but don't confuse it with talent or success. an arrogant person who doesn't have the talent/money/success is just a fool. i've worked with many celebrities and some are arrogant but i've noticed the ones who have the arrogance are by leaps and bounds the most insecure.
SmoochieFace Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 Arrogance and confidence are two distinct entities. People can be confident without being arrogant. Example: I am confident in my skills when it comes to doing my job. Am I arrogant and macho over it? No way. People can also be arrogant and lack confidence. People who act out of ego and machismo usually are doing it to compensate for some inadequacy. So much for confidence, huh? Cool confidence is way much better and credible than cocky arrogance.
cygny Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 My point CALIGUY, is that the two go together and cannot be separated. no, that's just not true i have known some phenomenally successful people who are not arrogant but incredibly decent.
SmoochieFace Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 no, that's just not true i have known some phenomenally successful people who are not arrogant but incredibly decent. Of course it's not true but some people refuse to believe any differently.
loony Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 exactly LOONEY....so whould you rather have an arrogant person piloting your cross-country flight in a boeing 767 or just the average everyday joe? What about having a confident person flying the boeing? Sometimes people are busy with fighting their fears and maintaining their public image that they don't have time to become good. They only become good at being seemingly good. Too much fear of failing paralyses people and prevents them from achieving real excellence. 1
cygny Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 Turn your pm's on, will ya already? hiya c-g!! do ya think the gods will let me, now? i asked earlier and they sent me some long document --i think i'm too new or something??? 1
lindya Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 the two go together and cannot be separated. the one thing that seperates highly successful people for everyone else is arrogance, and this applies to both men and women. you don't think that Oprah is one arrogant beeyotch behind closed doors? Let us refer the matter for judgement. I have selected an adjudicator you can relate to. http://www.askmen.com/money/successful_60/67_success.html
SmoochieFace Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 Arrogant people have fragile egos - they always need to be right and they cannot stand those who differ from them. Narcissism. If they are proven wrong they either will be in denial over it or they will lash out at other people to try to deflect the blame. Doesn't sound too confident to me.
cygny Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 Arrogance and confidence are two distinct entities. People can be confident without being arrogant. Example: I am confident in my skills when it comes to doing my job. Am I arrogant and macho over it? No way. People can also be arrogant and lack confidence. People who act out of ego and machismo usually are doing it to compensate for some inadequacy. So much for confidence, huh? Cool confidence is way much better and credible than cocky arrogance. right-o smoochie i think the difference can be summed up as having to do with being able to listen and being open to differing views and constructive criticism. when you're arrogant, you place yourself beyond challenge.
SmoochieFace Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 when you're arrogant, you place yourself beyond challenge. And humility.
alphamale Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 when you're arrogant, you place yourself beyond challenge. well one theory is that nice guys finish last because they are not confident and ergo have no arrogance. I see many more hot women around town with arrogant males who exude testosterone than with nice guys who are self-deprecating and emasculated.
SmoochieFace Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 Let us refer the matter for judgement. I have selected an adjudicator you can relate to. http://www.askmen.com/money/successful_60/67_success.html Excellent piece and it sums things up quite tidily.
SmoochieFace Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 well one theory is that nice guys finish last because they are not confident and ergo have no arrogance. I see many more hot women around town with arrogant males who exude testosterone than with nice guys who are self-deprecating and emasculated. What Alpha is failing to understand is that those are extremes. There are plenty of guys who fall somewhere in between them - THOSE are the *cool confident* types and THEY are the ones who have the most success with the BEST women.
cygny Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 well one theory is that nice guys finish last because they are not confident and ergo have no arrogance. I see many more hot women around town with arrogant males who exude testosterone than with nice guys who are self-deprecating and emasculated. personally i think this is a too-simplistic distinction. it's too black and white and doesn't really model reality very well. but hey what do i know i'm just a woman, lol sure when a guy is too nice there is not much chemistry because if he's too busy seeking approval there is no 'play'. but i will and have dumped guys simply because they were arrogant and were incapable of considering my opinions and feelings alongside their own or of ever admitting they were wrong. it's boring and tedious and stupid. good guys are best. they are confident and decent and.. if they have a light funny touch... they are "golden".
alphamale Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 but i will and have dumped guys simply because they were arrogant arrogance that is not back up with anything is wrong and unjustified. but arrogance that is backed up with something meaningful is a powerful aphrodisiac to most women.
cygny Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 What Alpha is failing to understand is that those are extremes. There are plenty of guys who fall somewhere in between them - THOSE are the *cool confident* types and THEY are the ones who have the most success with the BEST women. jeez are we in sync today or what??
cygny Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 arrogance that is not back up with anything is wrong and unjustified. but arrogance that is backed up with something meaningful is a powerful aphrodisiac to most women. nah--i'll tell you what that is --is power/fame/money/success. the arrogance is just a**h***ry. the guy has it because he can get away with it because of the power/fame/money/success. the women who are dumb groupie types overlook it because they are blinded by the power etc. its confidence that's cool. and i'll grant a little cheekiness into the mix, to make it 'interesting' but arrogance or jerkdom is just that. not attractive.
SmoochieFace Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 jeez are we in sync today or what?? We are simply the voices of reality and common sense. Hey, I base my statements on observation and my experiences - NOT on what some *guru* writes on a so-called *pickup* site for men.
CaliGuy Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 My point CALIGUY, is that the two go together and cannot be separated. I disagree. Confident men are balanced between being humble (the possiblility they might not know it all) and arrogance (knowing they know it all). Arrogant men think they know it all, even when they don't.
alphamale Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 the women who are dumb groupie types overlook it because they are blinded by the power etc. actually its ALL types of women who are attacted to power, not just "dumb groupies". but arrogance or jerkdom is just that. not attractive. i'm looking at arrogance as a less negative quality than you are. personally I believe that arrogance has a place in society.
CaliGuy Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 hiya c-g!! do ya think the gods will let me, now? i asked earlier and they sent me some long document --i think i'm too new or something??? Ask them to turn it on, I have a question for you
cygny Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 actually its ALL types of women who are attacted to power, not just "dumb groupies". no, not "all"--lots of women are threatened by it or don't relate to it. ordinary women. and the smartest women know that power cuts both ways--you get a powerful man and chances are he 'will' be arrogant because he can get away with it unless he has good character--and that makes for bad relationships. i'm looking at arrogance as a less negative quality than you are. personally I believe that arrogance has a place in society. i can't think of one instance where i'd prefer arrogant behavior over confident behavior. oh wait, i've thought of one. but it's with arrogant women (divas) who can really cause some scenes that make for absolutely great gossip and stories... as far as relationships, no way, it's a pain.
SmoochieFace Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 no, not "all"--lots of women are threatened by it or don't relate to it. Another hallmark of the arrogant - all or nothing thinking. It is patently wrong to say that ALL types of women are attracted to power. There are plenty of guys who are not *powerful* people and yet they have GFs or wives.
cygny Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 Ask them to turn it on, I have a question for you damn! i keep getting the "cygny, you do not have permission to access this page" message!! WHY don't they trust me??? could it be I haven't earned enough "reputation points"? har har 1
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