BUTAFLY Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 I saw my ex's wife today and got extremely jealous. Its been almost a year since he has gotten married (I was dating him for 7months and found out he was engagedthe entire time, when I found out I dummped him.) & I know I keep saying I am over him but I was in a shopping mall parking lot looking for a parking space wheni spotted his car, I knew he was at work and his W must be driving. I almost left the mall but then thought I am not going to be run off, in fact i'm gonna let her know about him and I. One problem I don't know who she is. I wait in the car hoping to catch her getting into her car and then approach her. as I sat or 10min I realized I was being completely stupid. So I start getting out of my car and a women approaches his car. She grabs something and runs back into the store. I go into the store and my eyes are darting around looking for that women, I spot her, I go over to the rack of cloths she was going through and she starts a conversation with me. Says high, she complements me on my jacket, talks about how the sale going on, smiles and walks away. MY heart sank. I wanted to tell her about her H activities with me and his new conquest I have seen him with, but she was so sweet, and beautiful (which didnt help)I couldn't tell her. She was not the ghetto ,low class , cold bi**h he painted her out to be. I am sooo jealous and I hate that. I thought I was over him, well atleast I told myself that everyday to just get through the day but when I ran into her, feelings I thought were gone came bubbling up. help Please I think I want him back Do I tell her should I have told her. what to do?--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mz. Pixie Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 Why would you want him back?? He cheated on his fiance' with you- now he's cheating on his wife with someone else?? This is not someone who is going to be faithful. And of course, she's not how he painted her out to be- did you expect him to tell the truth?? Come on, But, you don't want this guy back- you are too strong for that. However, I can see where you might want to consider telling her. She's a innocent party in this, going along and believing her spouse is faithful and he's not. He's exposing her to STD's etc. If you are going to tell her, however, make sure you're not doing it for selfish motives- ie, like you will tell her she will leave him and that you will end up with him. THAT is why I don't think you should tell her. Also, do not tell her out of jealousy because you wish he was with you, that would be wrong. Telling her because of what a slime he is out of concern for her health and sanity is not.
Author BUTAFLY Posted January 27, 2006 Author Posted January 27, 2006 Thats why I didn't tell her when I had the perfect opportunity...I did have feelings of jealousy and she seemed so sweet and innocent, plus I did believe him and was expecting a different type of person, I couldnt bring myself to burst her bubble. If I did tell her that would piss him off and their would be noway he would ever speak to me again. Do you think its not worth telling because It been a year ago? we did stop having sex when I found out he was engaged but we still continued the emotional part of the relationship.... talk over the phone and stealing time at work.
whichwayisup Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 So now it's an emotional affair, just no sex, right? I wouldn't tell her. If you do, YOU lose out. He isn't going to leave her and if she finds out from you he probably would never speak to you again. He has lied to her, lied to you. And I'm betting his life is pretty good at home. Family, friends, neighbours...You don't know their daily routine and what happens behind closed doors. If you do tell her, what is your real reason? I personally don't think it has to do with 'for her own good.'
Author BUTAFLY Posted January 27, 2006 Author Posted January 27, 2006 I'm betting his life is pretty good at home. Family, friends, neighbours...You don't know their daily routine and what happens behind closed doors. Your right, we still shoot the breeze and he mentions conversations with his neighbors about their lawns care, he recently told me about an afriacan wedding he went to with is W (he told me because he knows my dad if S.African) and the topic of vacation came up & mention his honeymoon stop for me to vacation to. So I get a glimps in his life and he seems very happy. even though he complains about 'itimacy issues' whatever that means, but knowing he is happy just makes me jealous, that he is capable of being a good husband
whats wrong with me Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 I saw my ex's wife today and got extremely jealous. Its been almost a year since he has gotten married (I was dating him for 7months and found out he was engagedthe entire time, when I found out I dummped him.) & I know I keep saying I am over him but I was in a shopping mall parking lot looking for a parking space wheni spotted his car, I knew he was at work and his W must be driving. I almost left the mall but then thought I am not going to be run off, in fact i'm gonna let her know about him and I. One problem I don't know who she is. I wait in the car hoping to catch her getting into her car and then approach her. as I sat or 10min I realized I was being completely stupid. So I start getting out of my car and a women approaches his car. She grabs something and runs back into the store. I go into the store and my eyes are darting around looking for that women, I spot her, I go over to the rack of cloths she was going through and she starts a conversation with me. Says high, she complements me on my jacket, talks about how the sale going on, smiles and walks away. MY heart sank. I wanted to tell her about her H activities with me and his new conquest I have seen him with, but she was so sweet, and beautiful (which didnt help)I couldn't tell her. She was not the ghetto ,low class , cold bi**h he painted her out to be. I am sooo jealous and I hate that. I thought I was over him, well atleast I told myself that everyday to just get through the day but when I ran into her, feelings I thought were gone came bubbling up. help Please I think I want him back Do I tell her should I have told her. what to do?-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I wouldn't say a word!! I myself am pretty nice to people but if you told me you had been sleeping with my husband, I would probably try to kill you, and everyone else here is right it wouldn't score you any brownie points with him.
Mz. Pixie Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 But- No wonder you can't recover- you're still talking to the guy. You're still holding hopes of the two of you getting together. Quit talking to him so you can start moving on with your life. Then all of this won't be as interesting or draining. You deserve better.
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