slubberdegullion Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 A few moments ago I received an email from an ex-FWB of mine that I had started to develop feelings for. K____ was almost everything any man could want in a woman; funny, sharp, nicely put together and an absolute tigress between the sheets. Alas, against my better judgement, I blurted that I was beginning to fall for her, and would like to take our relationship to the next level. Bad idea. She dumped me. Life was so much easier as a player without feelings. If I had only kept my big mouth shut, things may have been different. But NOOOOOO, I had to express my feelings. Why oh why do I freakin' bother??
whats wrong with me Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 Go back and talk to her she might just be trying to be hard I dont know her s.ituaetion but maybe she trying to not get close to anyone right now, that doesn't necessarily mean she wont
lilmoma1973 Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 Yes because i tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and people take advantage of me at times, especially my h .. I am very tender hearted person but i have learned to be more selfish ..
Author slubberdegullion Posted January 27, 2006 Author Posted January 27, 2006 Go back and talk to her she might just be trying to be hard I dont know her s.ituaetion but maybe she trying to not get close to anyone right now, that doesn't necessarily mean she wont She's already screwing someone else. She calls it an exclusive FWB. Bah...
lilmoma1973 Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 She's already screwing someone else. She calls it an exclusive FWB. Bah... Sorry Slubber , it her loss and someone else's gain !!
skeptik224 Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 I've definately regretted showing my feelings. I, too, wear my heart on my sleeve and it sucks....especially when you end up dating someone who doesn't show any emotion other than happiness. It leaves you extremely vulnerable. As of about 1 1/2 months ago, I vowed to be stronger. I now know where the line has to be drawn between showing feelings and exposing all I have. Slubber - I'm sorry about the FWB. I do believe that some women just don't want anything. They just want to date and have fun...no strings. It sucks, man...a hard lesson learned.
blind_otter Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 You broke the FWB rules, bubby. There's a certain type of woman that only gets turned on by emotionally unavailable men.
Author slubberdegullion Posted January 27, 2006 Author Posted January 27, 2006 You broke the FWB rules, bubby. There's a certain type of woman that only gets turned on by emotionally unavailable men. Yes, I know. The thing that continues to gnaw at me, though, is that she's now exclusively with someone else. Like, I wasn't good enough or something. feh... frig, some days it just ain't worth getting out of bed...
Lonestar Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 She's already screwing someone else. She calls it an exclusive FWB. Bah... Awww, slub, I'm sorry. That sucks, but at least you know now and can completely let go. You'll find someone else. You're a great guy, funny as hell too.
blind_otter Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 Yes, I know. The thing that continues to gnaw at me, though, is that she's now exclusively with someone else. Like, I wasn't good enough or something. feh... frig, some days it just ain't worth getting out of bed... Who has probably been carefully maintaining his aura of unavailability, m'love. Don't worry. If I'm ever in Canada, I'll be your FWB.
riobikini Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 RE: Slub: " Yes, I know. The thing that continues to gnaw at me, though, is that she's now exclusively with someone else. Like, I wasn't good enough or something." Stop thinking that way!!! You're damn good enough! (Smile) -Rio
CaliGuy Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 When you tell yourself you are "not good enough" in any facet of life you are giving in to a self-defeatist" attitude. You've lost the battle before it's even started. Never EVER tell yourself you're not good enough. YOU ARE. Confidence, my friend. Confidence.
Lishy Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 Slubsy ...... She is a fool! One day she will realise that as well! Your kissing post still gives me shivers! I know rejection is hard to swallow but you know what .. She did you a favour! Imagine ending up IN LOVE with a shallow girl like her? YUK! You are Da Bomb baby and don't you forget it!!!!!!!!!
basscatcher Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 Slubb my dear, you are blowing her up bigger and better then she is and you are taking it out on yourself by thinking your not good enough... Bull-hocky-puckin-shyt..... She is shallow, a user, a flake, a ice-cube, self-centered, selfish, and nasty.. She is not worth you... You are better then that and you deserve better. Don't look on the outside of her; look at her inside... "she is ugly" She was able to use you for her own physical gratifications but not invest herself in any way.. (this is why I don't agree with FWB relations-someone always gets disappointed.) She found a replacement in a hurry without a care in the world for you. You deserve better. A genuine FWB cares and has some kind of respect for the other person. If not then WTF?? I have never regreted expressing my feelings even if they weren't mutual. I refuse to lie to myself. I cannot stop my heart from developing feelings. I refuse to lie to anyone about it. I will hold back but I won't deny what I feel. Even if it causes a breakup... I am grateful that I have the opportunity to care about another. I see it as a blessing. Imagin what it would be like to be so disfigured and alone that you never get the opportunity to express how you feel about someone because you can't even get close enough to them to share how you feel. Imagin being so cut off from being given the opportunity to care for someone other then family or friends. I have never regreted sharing my feelings.. Even when it ended the relationship.. At least I know I can feel and be real. 1
riobikini Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 PadaMeckla, I loved your post!!! (Smile) -Rio 1
Author slubberdegullion Posted January 27, 2006 Author Posted January 27, 2006 Thanks, everyone, for your support. When I mentioned that "maybe I'm not good enough," I didn't mean that as some sort of self-defeatist ethos (though, when I read it again, I can understand why one may think that). I meant it in how she perceives me, not how I really am. But, alas, it's all water under the bridge now anyway. NC is in full effect.
basscatcher Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 Thanks, everyone, for your support. When I mentioned that "maybe I'm not good enough," I didn't mean that as some sort of self-defeatist ethos (though, when I read it again, I can understand why one may think that). I meant it in how she perceives me, not how I really am. But, alas, it's all water under the bridge now anyway. NC is in full effect. MWAAAAHHHHH
jerbear Posted January 30, 2006 Posted January 30, 2006 I have never regreted sharing my feelings.. Even when it ended the relationship.. At least I know I can feel and be real. Love the post! I just posted a new thread call "NC predicatment" probably scared a few people becuase it was LONG... Any how, that was how I ended up in NC. I showed my feelings, took a stand even if it means giving up on a genuine good friendship.
riobikini Posted January 30, 2006 Posted January 30, 2006 RE: Slub: " Ever regret showing your feelings? " Answer: No. I have never regreted showing my feelings, but speaking of them was always a 'wait and see' matter. I am always careful about who I say those deep words to. With this last person in my life, I'm glad I waited and saw exactly who it was I would have been saying them to. In my case, they couldn't have been returned, anyway, -he wasn't capable of such feelings for me. -Rio
BUTAFLY Posted January 30, 2006 Posted January 30, 2006 A few moments ago I received an email from an ex-FWB of mine that I had started to develop feelings for. K____ was almost everything any man could want in a woman; funny, sharp, nicely put together and an absolute tigress between the sheets. Alas, against my better judgement, I blurted that I was beginning to fall for her, and would like to take our relationship to the next level. Bad idea. She dumped me. Life was so much easier as a player without feelings. If I had only kept my big mouth shut, things may have been different. But NOOOOOO, I had to express my feelings. Why oh why do I freakin' bother?? After 7months of dating I told the guy i was seeing I was falling for him. He took that and ran with it, made me believe their was a future and used me up until days before his WEDDING! So you got off pretty good as far as I am conserned. I only wish He would have ran when I told him that, but NOOOO he let me live a fantacy. I dont want to wear my heart on my sleeve ....I want to know how to be the player....no feelings=no pain. players out there teach me, I want to learn!! 1
southern_sun Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 To be the player, just let it go; let it flow.
BUTAFLY Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 To be the player, just let it go; let it flow. what does this mean?
southern_sun Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 you say you want no feelings or pain, right? if you let that part of you go, you'll find that you can move forward. if you hold on too tightly or yearn for it so much, the situation can easily flip on you. however, if you just cruise and let things flow as they might, without expectations, then things have this funny way of working themselves out. maybe not all the time, but for some strange reason it does. does that make sense?
luvtoto Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 Alas, against my better judgement, I blurted that I was beginning to fall for her, and would like to take our relationship to the next level. Slub, you told her the truth about how you were feeling. There should be more men like you in this world. *Applause*!
Recommended Posts