magwyle Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 My boyfriend and i live together yet he sleeps on the couch every night. First, it was becasue he said he had heart burn, then it was the hours he kept for his job and now because of his back. I've told him that I hate sleeping alone and he says he'll stay with me then never does. I feel like I'm all alone going to bed every night by myself. He told me a long time ago that he did the same thing with his last girlfriend. Am I making something out of nothing because I feel terrible every night with no one beside me and am getting really frustrated. Please let me know what you think.
Wintersbloom Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 I think this would bother me as well. I was going to ask, if you might possibly snore or breath heavy due to allergies. Does he?? Many psychs would wonder if he has a subconcious fear of being smothered or otherwise injured during his sleep. But, if he has done it with his past girlfriend he may just be in the habit, habits can be changed. I cringe whenever a guy brings up his ex or what he did with his ex, it doesn't matter...he's with me now and we must give and take, to make the most of this relationship.
Presario Posted January 28, 2006 Posted January 28, 2006 Do you make love? Damn, I haven't asked this question to anyone before. LoveShack is cool.
Author magwyle Posted January 28, 2006 Author Posted January 28, 2006 Do you make love? Damn, I haven't asked this question to anyone before. LoveShack is cool. Yes we do pretty often and he is really affectionate at other times. When we watch tv or a movie at night he always wants me to lay with him on the couch. Its been this way for almost the entire time we've been together though
Presario Posted January 28, 2006 Posted January 28, 2006 Yes we do pretty often and he is really affectionate at other times. When we watch tv or a movie at night he always wants me to lay with him on the couch. Its been this way for almost the entire time we've been together though Ok, so you know you are attractive to him. It's not that by sleeping on the couch he avoids sex with you. now because of his back. That's odd. When I have some back pain, sleeping on the couch can only make me feel worse. Maybe there is something when you sleep together that he doesn't like. What does he say? Can you guess what that could be? Maybe a small bed?
Author magwyle Posted January 28, 2006 Author Posted January 28, 2006 it's a queen size bed and it definately has more room than a sofa! When he's on the sofa he's got my 60lb. dog that snores and whimpers in her sleep trying to sleep on him so I can't be worse than that, I hope. He says it has nothing to do with me and just repeats the same reasons or a new one like last night when he said, " I would sleep in here but it's too bright" but all he had to do was turn off the bathroom light. He just doesn't want to be in there and this is how he was with his ex too so I just don't know. Thanks for the reply.
Presario Posted January 28, 2006 Posted January 28, 2006 Hey, I think I got it! When he sleeps with you, he sleeps in uncomfortable positions and wakes up in pain. It takes some training to sleep together. When I started sleeping with my wife, we would both wake up in pain. Now it's different: when we fall asleep in the spoon position, we are OK in the morning because somehow during the night we move apart.
Author magwyle Posted January 28, 2006 Author Posted January 28, 2006 maybe that's it. I tend to just take it personally. We'll see and i'm going to talk to him again. Thanks a lot.
Presario Posted January 28, 2006 Posted January 28, 2006 Well, I don't know what to write except that: - he's a god lover, - he has some bad memories of sleeping together. Good luck!
Art_Critic Posted January 28, 2006 Posted January 28, 2006 Does he drink a lot when you go to bed ?? He may be a closet drinker.. I was this way with a girl I lived with when I drank.. 7 out of 10 times I fell asleep on the couch ( or passed out ) so she didn't know how much I drank..
Presario Posted January 28, 2006 Posted January 28, 2006 I wrote "god lover," but I meant "dog lover," and can't edit it now. Well, I'm glad I was of some help then.
Author magwyle Posted January 28, 2006 Author Posted January 28, 2006 Does he drink a lot when you go to bed ?? He may be a closet drinker.. I was this way with a girl I lived with when I drank.. 7 out of 10 times I fell asleep on the couch ( or passed out ) so she didn't know how much I drank.. he does drink but I don't think he has a problem and I don't think he could be hiding it. I used to do the same thing so I don't think that's it. Presario_dog lover makes so much more sense to me-thanks
tinktronik Posted January 28, 2006 Posted January 28, 2006 Is it possible he's just used to sleeping on the couch? Maybe it's just where he prefers? Is the Tv in the livingroom ? My ex liked to sleep on the couch b/c he'd fall asleep easier to the TV.
ziggue Posted January 28, 2006 Posted January 28, 2006 Maybe he's been told that he snores really badly and is sleeping on the couch to give you some peace while you sleep. Just a thought. . I also think it could be what the person posted before me.
Author magwyle Posted January 28, 2006 Author Posted January 28, 2006 there's a tv on in the bedroom too usually but it is possible that he just prefers to sleep there because he's used to it. he did it for years with his ex. that's why I'm not sure if I'm just making something out of nothing and worrying that there is something wrong with us that he doesn't want to admit it when there's really nothing there. Is it possible for someone to tell you they love you so much, sleep with you and say they want to be with you and not really want to be in a relationship at all?
Art_Critic Posted January 28, 2006 Posted January 28, 2006 it seems to me that you are trying to find an excuse for him instead of why he really is doing it.. You need to talk with him about it.. if it continues then he needs to go see a sleep doctor.. Don't take this.. this can affect your relationship negatively and he needs to deal with fixing it Something tells me that a sleep doctor isn't going to fix this..
Author magwyle Posted January 28, 2006 Author Posted January 28, 2006 Something tells me that a sleep doctor isn't going to fix this.. can you tell me what you mean?
Art_Critic Posted January 28, 2006 Posted January 28, 2006 I think it is something deep seated from his past or he is dealing with an addiction issue that you are not aware of.. Although this is just my opinion as it could very well be something that a sleep doctor can fix.. Get him to a doctor and go from there.. Sleeping on a couch all the time when in a relationship is not normal or healthy
Presario Posted January 28, 2006 Posted January 28, 2006 I think there is little to worry about. Maybe with time he will get used to sleeping with you. Some guys just prefer sleeping on their own, because it's more comfortable. A friend of mine doesn't want to touch his wife when they sleep - he wants to be far apart so that he sleeps well. His wife complains about it, because she wants to fall asleep in his arms. Aside from that, he's a great guy and they are happy together. But if you want to sleep with your BF, then work on it paitiently and I hope you will both be happy with sleeping together.
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