chuchubabo Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 hi, i have been married to this guy for 3 yrs and my baby is 10 months now, about 2 months ago i found out that he was chatting on the internet , saying " i love you, you are sexy, i wish you live here, do you want my baby ? " things like that to so many young girls, (he's 45 now, and he was talking to girls at 20's from asia, i am asian,too) he was doing fooling around behind my back whole our marriage years, and even was talking to some of those girls on the phone, at first he didnt understand why i was so mad, asking for divorce, crying , drinking every night. hes saying that was just a joke, not a real cheating, if he had known that it would hurt me this much he would not have done that, i trusted him so much, i didnt look at any other guy, he always told me that i am the best wife, i am so beautiful, things like that. those things make me feel more betrayed. he says that he will not do it again, and i believe that " once a cheater, always a cheater " do i have to find my own way out? or do i have to give him one more chance?
Wintersbloom Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 Thanks for your post. I am in a very similar situation with my new hubby. He chatted with one of his ex's while we were dating, after it began to interfere with our relationship I asked him to stop speaking to her. I made it clear to him I felt this was "emotional" cheating. I found out recently that he has been keeping in touch with her behind my back. Dr. Phil stated once "If you can't do it in front of your partner or don't want him/her to know about it, it's cheating". We're committed to our marriage working. I have his promises not to do this again. But, if nothing else, I have feel that I am responsible for my own happiness. By staying I am taking the risk of him cheating again, but I love myself enough to know I am strong enough to walk away if this does happen again. I am also risking being able to build a stronger love filled relationship with him. Good Luck!
magwyle Posted January 29, 2006 Posted January 29, 2006 I am very sorry to hear about your situation. I don't think you ever HAVE to give someone another chance. You need to do whatever you think is best for you and your baby so that you can be happy. Good luck with everything.
barfool Posted January 30, 2006 Posted January 30, 2006 I think you need to be very clear with him about how what he did made you feel. Even if he does not consider it cheating he needs to understand that telling another woman those things is not acceptable! I too would find it incredibly hard to accept someone saying "i am the best wife, i am so beautiful" if he has been saying these things to other people. Him saying that he didn't understand why you were upset makes me think that he is either entirely stupid or trying very hard to get away with it. This guy does not seem trustworthy.
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