Lonestar Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 He can't go a week without sending me some email to try to suck me back in. He's never straightforward with what he wants. It's like he's casting the line to see if I'll bite (yes, I have in the past). Tonight I get an email that starts off with business related to our kid and then ends with him wanting to go to family counseling because it will help us be on the same page with our daughter. He detests counseling. WHAT'S NEXT???????? Can someone tell me why he does this?
CaliGuy Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 When he starts into any relationship issues just say "Oh I've got another call, gotta go. Bye!"
cal gal Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 Lonestar, Just correspond with him as you would a business superior. Even to go so far as to say "yes sir" It's not a bad ploy - you know he will get the message if you are respectful, strong minded and firm about your beliefs and portray them to him without a whole lot of emotion. He will take you seriously and you can deliver your families wants and needs without the bullsh*t. Good luck
slubberdegullion Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 Tell him that you're heavily involved with another man. I'll volunteer.
Author Lonestar Posted January 27, 2006 Author Posted January 27, 2006 Tell him that you're heavily involved with another man. I'll volunteer. slubber, I just did that!! I'm so fed up with this crap that I called and told him to cut it out, to stop using our child to maintain contact and control over me. He tried to deny it until I told him that I was with someone else now, very happy, and to stop interfering in my happiness. He flipped out, got all upset, and I said that proves my point right there. If you had no ulterior motives, none of this would bother you. There's more to the story, but that should be saved for PMs. I don't like to give too much detail in the public forum. Oh, and I told him my boyfriend's name was slubber :lmao:
Author Lonestar Posted January 27, 2006 Author Posted January 27, 2006 Lonestar, Just correspond with him as you would a business superior. Even to go so far as to say "yes sir" It's not a bad ploy - you know he will get the message if you are respectful, strong minded and firm about your beliefs and portray them to him without a whole lot of emotion. He will take you seriously and you can deliver your families wants and needs without the bullsh*t. Good luck Thanks cal gal, but it's much more complicated than that. Ive tried that route. I do appreciate your help though. After the convo I had with him tonight, I don't expect him to be calling again. I hope
Art_Critic Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 Oh, and I told him my boyfriend's name was slubber :lmao: I feel left out
Author Lonestar Posted January 27, 2006 Author Posted January 27, 2006 I feel left out No, let me clarify... I said his name was Art Slubber. I just shortened it to the last name when I posted.
Art_Critic Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 No, let me clarify... I said his name was Art Slubber. I just shortened it to the last name when I posted. thanks... your good....
alphamale Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 Can someone tell me why he does this? because he knows you like it and/or get a kick out of it...
blind_otter Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 Like Alpha said. I think some people don't understand, from childhood, that all attention isn't good attention. Lonestar, you know that he probably doesn't even know what he's doing. A desperate man will poke around in the dark with a stick. haha. No, really...he probably does on some level know how bad he's become. But he needs to get better on his own, completely apart from the context of the family issues. Maybe you should tell him to pursue individual counseling and see what happens?
slubberdegullion Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 thanks... your good.... Duzzat mean we have to share? Someone's gonna be racking up some pretty serious airmiles soon.
alphamale Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 Maybe you should tell him to pursue individual counseling and see what happens? f*** counseling....its usually does not do much in these situatuions. LONEY does not have much options here considering this dude is the father of her child. He's not doing anythign illegal or immoral as far as I can see.
Author Lonestar Posted January 27, 2006 Author Posted January 27, 2006 because he knows you like it and/or get a kick out of it... Not true, Alpha. I don't like it nor do I get a kick out of it. It's disrupting my life and I want it to stop. I can sit here and joke about it. That makes it easier sometimes, but truth is, I can't handle the bulllsh*t. It's way too toxic for me.
Author Lonestar Posted January 27, 2006 Author Posted January 27, 2006 f*** counseling....its usually does not do much in these situatuions. LONEY does not have much options here considering this dude is the father of her child. He's not doing anythign illegal or immoral as far as I can see. Alpha, otter knows more about the situation through PMs than I've posted here. He does need individual counseling, but I won't go with him, because they're his issues, not mine. That chapter is over.
blind_otter Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 Tell him that, honey. What you just said. He's a drowning man. He'll grab onto any available flotation device. And most likely drag it down with him. It's not an indictment. I understand people like him very much so. But I guess I understand them enough now to know when to amputate...
Author Lonestar Posted January 27, 2006 Author Posted January 27, 2006 Tell him that, honey. What you just said. He's a drowning man. He'll grab onto any available flotation device. And most likely drag it down with him. It's not an indictment. I understand people like him very much so. But I guess I understand them enough now to know when to amputate... I told him that last night. I'm PMing you the details.
alphamale Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 Alpha, otter knows more about the situation through PMs than I've posted here. well then you have to give us that info also LONESTAR...I only make decisions based upon what is presented.
Author Lonestar Posted January 27, 2006 Author Posted January 27, 2006 well then you have to give us that info also LONESTAR...I only make decisions based upon what is presented. Yes, but I won't post it. I'll PM you sometime today.
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