BUTAFLY Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 I saw MM wife today and got extremely jealous. Its been almost a year since he has gotten married & I know I keep saying I am over him (those if you who know my previous post on him) but I was in a shopping mall parking lot looking for a parking space and i spotted his car, I knew he was at work and his W must be driving. I almost left the mall but then thought I am not going to be run off, in fact i'm gonna let her know about him and I. One problem I don't know who she is. I wait in the car hoping to catch her getting into her car and then approach her. as I sat or 10min I realized I was being completely stupid. So I start getting out of my car and a women approaches his car. She grabs something and runs back into the store. I go into the store and my eyes are darting around looking for that women, I spot her, I go over to the rack of cloths she was going through and she starts a conversation with me. Says high, she complements me on my jacket, talks about how the sale going on, smiles and walks away. MY heart sank. I wanted to tell her about her H activities with me and his new conquest I have seen him with, but she was so sweet, and beautiful (which didnt help)I couldn't tell her. She was not the ghetto ,low class , cold bi**h he painted her out to be. I am sooo jealous and I hate that. Those of you who know my story please set me straight. 1
whichwayisup Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 The affair is over there is no need to tell her unless you want to ruin her life. Forget him. We're talking about her. So, you saw her, and she's nice. Ofcourse she isn't as bad as you made her out to be...And I'm sure HE made her out to be just as you pictured too, and that was wrong as well. He isn't your business anymore, so basically try to just go on. Your heart is jealous, keep things in perspective here B. WHY are you jealous? What is it that is making you feel that way? It is because you can't have him anymore and he is married to someone else? Is he worth being jealous over? Think about it.
Author BUTAFLY Posted January 27, 2006 Author Posted January 27, 2006 I think i'm jealous of her, I think I want to be with him. I think its so hard because I see him everyday at work and he is all ways "on", mr charming. He if we are alone he wispers "It should have been you" meaning he should have married me. I can't stop thinjking of you...Statements like that cloud my judgement...Talk about F***king with my head and emotions...Geez!!! I was doing fine up until today. I didn't tell her because i don't want to hurt her, she so was too kind and it though me off. He made her out to be this awful person and she was so polite and sweet...their was nothing I could pick out about her. at work tonight I told him i saw his wife and I thought she was nice. I explained to him how I got talking to her and assured him I said nothing about us.
Author BUTAFLY Posted January 27, 2006 Author Posted January 27, 2006 I discussed this with a friend of mine and he says it sounds like a bad made for TV movie on lifetime. Thats sortof funny. He is right though.
AZKHO Posted January 28, 2006 Posted January 28, 2006 It is your emotions going crazy. We as humans have a natural jealous instinct when we see another women around "our men", wven if he isn't our man anymore. Even if you get along with an ex, you never truely like his new girlfriend. It is just a fact. And him saying all those things to you at work is not right at all. I would say that you not telling his wife was a good thing, it was not the right time and it would not have been for the right reasons. Maybe in the future when you are over him, you could tell his wife if he is still cheating on her. Then it would be out of respect for him, not out of jealousy.
Author BUTAFLY Posted January 28, 2006 Author Posted January 28, 2006 is there a way to get past the jealousy part?
whichwayisup Posted January 28, 2006 Posted January 28, 2006 You have no claim on this man. He isn't your boyfriend, he isn't your lover. He is a married man who taunts you, whispers sweet nothings in your ears... He tells you more or less he married the wrong woman, and it should have been you...OK, well, if he felt that way then he'd be divorced right now. Don't you think? Right now he is enjoying both worlds. A wife at home, who loves him. He shares a life with her. Then he has you, a woman who loves him too, listens to him and brightens his day. He knows he has you, he knows you put him first, that you think about him, that you want him. Yet, he is still with his wife. Do you want to be second best???? NO. Ofcourse you don't. And that is where your feelings get hurt and your jealously rages. You're doing this to yourself. You really need to emotionally detach from him, shield your heart so this doesn't ruin your life. It's time to think about ending it on a personal level with him.
Author BUTAFLY Posted January 28, 2006 Author Posted January 28, 2006 WWIU your right Your all right I did talk to him at work yesterday and he told me he is going back to the sene of the crime(aruba) for his one year wedding aniversery. Hearing that made my stomach turn. But seeing her beaming in all of her beauty and then hearing him talk about her with a twinkle in his eye made me realize they are in love and there is no room for me. your right, he is not mine,I can never have him the way I want him, he will never think of me the way he thinks of her. He loves his wife and his wife loves him. Its just upseting to see that when all the while he painted a picture of unhappieness. I guess hoping he was unhappy made me feel better knowing he was suffering like I am. The crazy part in this is there is a wonderful man in my life now whom I met going through all of this mess with MM and he waited for me, never giving up, hoping he could help me get over MM by showering me with unconditional love. Unfortunately I still have hang ups, and I can't give him all of my heart because MM still holds a peice of it. The new guy is getting frustrated and I am frustrated because im still in love with MM and dont want to be.
Curmudgeon Posted January 28, 2006 Posted January 28, 2006 for a job change. I think MM is being cruel by taunting you with his comments when he has no intention of leaving his wife and also has another side dish he's indulging in. What's to love about a cake eater? The sooner you remove yourself from his proximity and control, the sooner you'll become whole.
whichwayisup Posted January 28, 2006 Posted January 28, 2006 Wish him the best, all the happiness in the world. B - This is the true test of your love for him...Let him go. Remember him with a smile, and then close your heart. Never open that door again. Ever. In time, when you're ready, someone else will come into your life and love just you. Why be second best to a man when you could be number ONE!!! Hang in there, you're doing the right thing and on the right path right now. Keep those thoughts in the reality in which you've just begun to understand and see...That will keep you focussed and not let you slip backwards. Good luck and keep posting. You CAN get through this!!
Author BUTAFLY Posted January 28, 2006 Author Posted January 28, 2006 Thanks you guys, there are days when I am strong and then there are times like this when I crumble. Its good to know there are good people out who understand and support me so I can pick myself back up. I may need you all again when i have another relaps. Thank you!!!!
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