CaliGuy Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 Some of the brightest people I've met have appeared very unassuming about their intellectual ability - It is so refreshing when an extremely bright person has enough humility to NOT overpower anyone. A wonderful conversation is so intriguing, no matter what the topic ... it could be how high the tide is at beach or when the next full moon might be or what flowers were planted in your yard today... where and how the person responds will tell you their intellect and interests. That's why when people come to me and ask for advice, I make sure to word it in a way that they do not feel condescended to or insult their intelligence.
lilmoma1973 Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 Doesn't it all still come down to confidence level? If someone isn't confident in themselves then they're going to be abit intimidated. Doesn't matter, could be male or female. Confidence and giving off positive energy counts for ALOT. Beautiful or not. Agree totally WWIU..
cal gal Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 That's why when people come to me and ask for advice, I make sure to word it in a way that they do not feel condescended to or insult their intelligence. Intirgue (or shag) me baby... and don't hold back! Just bring on the intelligent conversation and life might be good....
Author cygny Posted January 26, 2006 Author Posted January 26, 2006 PS: If you brought this topic up because you fit the profile of beautiful, smart and independent - drop me a PM you are too funny (and cute)--but i am too old for you, unfortunately. really this is a big problem for me. i'm not saying i am those things but people tell me that i am, lots of men tell me i am, i am kinda oblivious to it. i will be walking down the street, not noticing people, and then people with me will be telling me about all the stares. and male friends, some of them gay some not, are telling me that men are intimidated by me. i don't know what to do. i do have multiple grad degrees. i guess i am independent but guys have told me i'm too independent to be with a guy and i don't understand how. i like all kinds of people. i'm not a snob by any means. I come from a very very humble background. the weird thing is that i get along great with people who are clerks or waitresses. but when i meet a man i like, it goes all wonky. one guy i really liked was a professor/researcher at ivy league school who admitted he was intimidated--i guess because my looks, he said i was a model type. ??? how could he be?????
slubberdegullion Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 Cyg, I have a hunch that I think I know what's happening when you meet a guy. This is just a hunch, and I'm certainly willing to be 100% wrong, so call me on it if you think I'm out of line: There are a number of different ways a woman (or a man, for that matter) can be perceived as intimidating or aloof. Now, it's clear that you're successful, intelligent, beautiful (at least that's the sense I get from your posts) and you really don't need anyone to complete your life. But the other side of it is that men may perceive you as not really needing them for anything. It's one thing to be financially and socially successful. No man has to take care of you in that regard. But it's also clear that though you don't need a man to care for you, you want a man to share your dreams and desires and thoughts and bed with. So the men you meet may be getting the wrong message, and that may be because you may be sending out the wrong signals. Guys are like that. We're not too good at subtle hints. I don't know for sure. Whaddya think?
CaliGuy Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 Cyg, I have a hunch that I think I know what's happening when you meet a guy. This is just a hunch, and I'm certainly willing to be 100% wrong, so call me on it if you think I'm out of line: There are a number of different ways a woman (or a man, for that matter) can be perceived as intimidating or aloof. Now, it's clear that you're successful, intelligent, beautiful (at least that's the sense I get from your posts) and you really don't need anyone to complete your life. But the other side of it is that men may perceive you as not really needing them for anything. It's one thing to be financially and socially successful. No man has to take care of you in that regard. But it's also clear that though you don't need a man to care for you, you want a man to share your dreams and desires and thoughts and bed with. So the men you meet may be getting the wrong message, and that may be because you may be sending out the wrong signals. Guys are like that. We're not too good at subtle hints. I don't know for sure. Whaddya think? Good post, Slubber. I agree. I don't think they're all intimidated, I think they feel that sense that she doesn't need them and therefore if there is no need, no reason to persist.
cal gal Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 Good post, Slubber. I agree. I don't think they're all intimidated, I think they feel that sense that she doesn't need them and therefore if there is no need, no reason to persist. WE are not all intimidated .... Even if we don't need a man financially we may want them to empower us emotionally, physically and intellectually, oh yeah ... and please be persistent when it CUMS to the bedroom! PS A man should understand that a really good frech kiss can make a gal c...!
PlentyLV007 Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 I can totally relate to you cyngny. I get the same comments you get...when I'm actually just a big kid at heart. I'm thingking....If I've ever been intimidated by a guy....I mean don't any of you ladies out there get intimidated by men? What intimidates women? Looks? Career? Sexual Experiences? When I was younger...I was intimdated by men because I didn't know how to please them sexually. Now I'm just frustrated that I haven't found a man to please me mentally and physically!
My_Other_I Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 IMO intimidation comes out of your own insecurities. If youa re confident, you won't be intimidated, i.e. if a REALLY HOT and rich and sexy man comes along and I feel intimidated by him is telling me that *I* don't feel I am good enogh for him - hence the self-esteem/insecurities issue. I hear comments from guys all the time about how intimidating I am. When I hear that, the guy automatically slides down to the friend-zone.
whichwayisup Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 So sorry for the error WIU So much admire and have fun with your opinions and ideas! I will now bow to you.. You can make it up to me tomorrow on the HOT THREAD!
Milo Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 Here is what I flat out find intimidating, with the woman being attractive only adding to the feeling: I find aloof women intimidating. It is especially so if they are aloof to me, yet talkative to anyone else in the room. So selective aloofness makes me nervous. A woman that acts incredulous about everything I say, too, is intimadating. "Really???" she mocks. Oh, that lighthearted mockery. Just pullin' yer leg! Ouch. Women who pick out things I might be saying too often for my own good, too, are intimadating. I can't speak easily after that. Oops. Said "well, you know" once too often. Women who are too bored to be at a social gathering are also a no go. I cannot supply all of the enthusiasm for two people. I'll take the Mulligan there, thanks. So what counteracts that sort of thing? What gives me a reason to stay in a conversation with a potentially intimidating goddess!? A woman who immediately acts goofy around me. I am in. Girl, I know where the fun is. That's it.
cal gal Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 WWIU I am bowing and can admire your tiara from here! Like I always say - why wait? Does that mean you need me to give you a smutty story for tonight? You know I will have another fantasy for tomorrow! I need to figure out which one for today, tomorrow, Sat and Sun - oh dang... now I need a man! I could take the fantasies out on him with furocity. Want the story tonight, tomorrow - or both? Dang, was that under the water cooler thread - right and said midnight hot thread ...? It should have said "smutty fantasies" he he So honey - tonight or tomorrow?
TheTallOne Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 When I hear that, the guy automatically slides down to the friend-zone. Why is that, because the guy has shown a insecurity?
Milo Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 Write a story tonight and then one tomorrow as well. M'kay?
Milo Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 PS A man should understand that a really good frech kiss can make a gal c...! There's no hotter french kiss than the one you perpetuate throughout the sex. If you keep your kiss going and then try to fixate on what is going on elsewhere, it's....mmmmmmm
My_Other_I Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 Why is that, because the guy has shown a insecurity? Yes. That is if he says that out loud. Damn, writing here makes me feel a bit shallow now. Not like I don't have any insecurities. Oops.
cal gal Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 First off Cali Guy I can only speak for myself - but as a gal with a strong personality, I need a man that WILL be persistent! I think only submissive personalities will find enjoyment with a wishy washy guy. (I could be totally wrong). Milo Two things honey First off - intimidation by a gal being "aloof" is silly - to most that would be considered a boring personality! Go with the later part of your thread that you indicated that you might like the goofy - or humor in a gal. That is the better choice.... Oh and Milo - if you post your fantasy story on WWIU under the water cooler- after midnight hot thread, THEN I'll give you all another story everyone seems to be begging for. Or you can just get hot and bothered by reading my other fantasy posts there! Additional stories would be nice though! ... by anyone for that matter.
cal gal Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 There's no hotter french kiss than the one you perpetuate throughout the sex. If you keep your kiss going and then try to fixate on what is going on elsewhere, it's....mmmmmmm Damn Milo - I am lovin you more and more Go post on the fantasy thread! perpetuate and fixate hmmmmm - yummy!
cal gal Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 Am still baffled about why a man would feel intimidated at all????? Fill me in!
TUDOR Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 Intimidation of this nature is nothing more than fear of rejection or a fear of feeling inadequate. Personally I have never felt intimidated by a woman. As a very driven person I have more often than not sought out the alphafemale in my quests. The woman who I felt was equal to the challenge and beyond that could challenge me mentally, emotionally, socially, physically, etc. Call it ego, call it cocky or overly confident....but personally I have never understood why if you want something you don't go get it or at least try. You may get shot down but to let your intimidation/fear limit you from your pursuit is only yourself holding you back.
CaliGuy Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 Intimidation of this nature is nothing more than fear of rejection or a fear of feeling inadequate. Personally I have never felt intimidated by a woman. As a very driven person I have more often than not sought out the alphafemale in my quests. The woman who I felt was equal to the challenge and beyond that could challenge me mentally, emotionally, socially, physically, etc. Call it ego, call it cocky or overly confident....but personally I have never understood why if you want something you don't go get it or at least try. You may get shot down but to let your intimidation/fear limit you from your pursuit is only yourself holding you back. Tudor, I have been told I am TOO aggressive sometimes. Like, when I want something, really want something (or someone), I will work hard to get it. I am not obnoxious, I just know what I want and won't be intimidated. Sometimes this can be a turn off for certain women. I had one tell me I was too aggressive. I replied "Maybe so, but anything worth having in life is worth working as hard as you can for it." She didn't have a reply, because it even though she shot me down (she was also dating someone at the time which I didn't know about), my reply was still a compliment to us both. Yes, I'm aggressive. I usually won't take the first no for an answer and though I may crash every once in a while, the landings are getting much smoother
cal gal Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 On the other side I am now wondering why some gals get intimidated by some men?
CaliGuy Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 On the other side I am now wondering why some gals get intimidated by some men? Easy: Lack of self-esteem and confidence.
TUDOR Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 Good on ya Caliguy. I have learned that while I know the drive to go after what I want is there, I have had to learn to be creative and some times subtle with the approach. But you're right with every "no" you learn a little more and are better equipped for the next flight. Its the people afraid to get that no that will never learn those lessons.
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