hooghie Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 I like independent women but there is a big difference between independent and having a manhating men are disposable type of mentality which I think is what he is referring to. Really? I didn't get that impression. Maybe you are right. My BF wants me to just pack my things and move in with him (to another state) and let him support me until I find a suitable job in the area. Although I LOVE him for giving me the offer- I just can't get myself to go and be dependent on him like that. I've never depended on a man financially and can't see myself ever being able to. I guess when I think of an independent woman, I think 'financially independent' mostly and I guess a 'I can do anyting I want' type of mindeset over an extremely NEEDY woman. GOD I hate needy women!
kitten chick Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 I guess when I think of an independent woman, I think 'financially independent' mostly and I guess a 'I can do anyting I want' type of mindeset over an extremely NEEDY woman. GOD I hate needy women! You can be financially independent and still be needy. Trust me!
alphamale Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 All of those things, (beauty, intelligence, and independence) are not necessarily good things. so what are you saying KC? that an ugly, dumb and dependent woman will be the most desirable by men?
CaliGuy Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 Yes, however Slub, CG indicated that he sat next to her intially because she was beautiful. There needs to be some attraction there to spark a conversation. I didn't say ALL of them have to be beautiful for me to talk to them. Is that superficial from the start or did I miss something? Not IMHO, no. I love to watch a room full of people and it seems to me that the most genuine folks are willing to embrace a conversation with a two year old or an 80 year old as much as someone in their own age range! That would pretty much describe me. At a party, I'll talk to everyone. If I'm single and someone captures my interest, either through looks or personality, I'll talk to them. I don't think it's shallow in the least bit. I freely admit I am not attracted to overweight people. Never have been? Some men are, and that's great, but I'm not. Nothing wrong with it, it just doesn't appeal to me. Now THAT is sexy - and the person I want to speak to in a room! If you have no physical attraction to him, I'm willing to bet you won't
cal gal Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 KC refer to post #20 also, beauty isn't always in looks, my STBXH was fabulous looking however after 20 years of being married and him cheating, he is now unattractive in my eyes. Also, the fact that he can no longer be with me has reduced his personality to zero (from what my friends have said). So, good looking and attractiveness (or beauty) are different concepts in my mind! Someone could be physically ugly - but attractive at the same time because of their inner beauty.
kitten chick Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 so what are you saying KC? that an ugly, dumb and dependent woman will be the most desirable by men? Yes, that's what I was saying ALPHAMALE. Glad I was able to get my point across.
Woggle Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 Really? I didn't get that impression. Maybe you are right. My BF wants me to just pack my things and move in with him (to another state) and let him support me until I find a suitable job in the area. Although I LOVE him for giving me the offer- I just can't get myself to go and be dependent on him like that. I've never depended on a man financially and can't see myself ever being able to. I guess when I think of an independent woman, I think 'financially independent' mostly and I guess a 'I can do anyting I want' type of mindeset over an extremely NEEDY woman. GOD I hate needy women! I many woman who feel the way I describe. They talk about how independent they are and they are scared to even have a man in their life because it will take away their independence. I have dated women like this and it is nothing but headache. They want intimacy but they pull away when you offer it.
CaliGuy Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 Question for the men--what kind of woman intimidates you--beautiful? smart? independent? have you ever been attracted to a woman with some or all of these attributes? how did you act around her? Did you react? what did she have to do to break down the barrier so you could like her and be relaxed? PS: If you brought this topic up because you fit the profile of beautiful, smart and independent - drop me a PM
kitten chick Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 also, beauty isn't always in looks... I took the OP to have meant physical beauty not inner beauty. If she meant inner beauty then I would agree with you 100%.
cal gal Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 If you have no physical attraction to him, I'm willing to bet you won't You owe me honey, because you jut lost the bet! I have several family members (yes, sad to say some are now gone) but they were "older" (between 60 and 90 years old) - and I was not physically attracted to them of course - but thought they were very sexy and loved having intelligent and inspiring conversations with them that would last for hours. I consider that to be a sexy and beautiful person. But physically I was never consider jumping them...
bluetuesday Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 my experience has been that most men aren't intimidated by smart women, as long as the women aren't quite as smart as they are. my experience has also been that most men will rate 'smart' as being anything roughly equivalent to or slightly below their own level of intelligence. so a man with a fairly low intelligence will think a woman of fairly low intelligence 'smart' to validate his own intelligence, or lack of.
witabix Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 Women intimidate me??? A woman with a pump action shotgun maybe, but her face, independence or intellect, no way. I don't get intimidated easily. People are people, and I am a match for anyone.
CaliGuy Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 You owe me honey, because you jut lost the bet! I consider that to be a sexy and beautiful person. But physically I was never consider jumping them... Is that because they are relatives or because you had no physical attraction to them? See, I know some women that will look past a guys looks if he is strong, intelligent, independent and happy. But, that's rarely the case now-a-days. Usually there has to be SOME physical attraction that brings you to that person to spark up a conversation. We can spin this 100 ways but that is the way we're wired. We see someone, have an attraction to them, want to talk to them and get to know them better. If there is no physical attraction and you've never met or talked to them, what would be the reason to spark up a conversation in the first place other than chance? Have you ever had someone you were not physically attracted to approach you, express their interest in some fashion and left you wanting to know more about them? I'm sure there are some cases, but for the most part if there's no physical attraction women will plop them in the dreaded 'friends' zone of which I liken to a black hole men never crawl out of
hooghie Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 You can be financially independent and still be needy. Trust me! I guess I didn't get my point across well- I meant, to me, independant means: 1. financially independent 2. NOT needy type of indepdent and that I wasn't thinking that the poster meant independent to mean manhater
kitten chick Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 Point received hooghie. and that I wasn't thinking that the poster meant independent to mean manhater Neither was I. It takes a *special* kind of mind to come up with that.
Pyro Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 I don't get intimidated easily. People are people, and I am a match for anyone. Exactly. We are all equals here. There is not one person that is better then the other.
hooghie Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 Exactly. We are all equals here. There is not one person that is better then the other. Yeah, some are just MORE equal than others..
witabix Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 Exactly. We are all equals here. There is not one person that is better then the other. High five.....
Pyro Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 Yeah, some are just MORE equal than others.. Too funny.
CaliGuy Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 my experience has been that most men aren't intimidated by smart women, as long as the women aren't quite as smart as they are. my experience has also been that most men will rate 'smart' as being anything roughly equivalent to or slightly below their own level of intelligence. so a man with a fairly low intelligence will think a woman of fairly low intelligence 'smart' to validate his own intelligence, or lack of. Maybe I'm different. I love extremely intelligent women who are independent and attractive (inside and out.) I'm not going to post my IQ here or anything but in no way am I dumb, so if I can find a woman that can make me think and keep up a great, intelligent conversation, she just scored some major points. She won't intimidate me. She'll inspire me and make me better. That's what I seek in a S/O and it's what I feel I also offer to a S/O. I intimidated my Ex because while she was smart, she couldn't communicate it well and we when did talk if I disagreed with her on any subject, she never would validate her opinion, she took it like I was arguing with her. I wasn't, I just don't give in easily She lost points with me because of that. Made me think of her as 'wimpy.'
lindya Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 At the end of the day, men generally want to be needed and depended on. Independent women make men feel less adequate. You can read on many a thread various men saying what does this woman need a man for if she's fiscally, physically, and emotionally independent? Not true of all men but it seems to be a prevailing majority. I think there's some truth in many of these rules about what men want and what women want. The difficulty arises when people over-subscribe to those rules. Most of the men I've known would get bored and irritated very quickly with a woman who constantly gave off needy, dependent "silly little me" vibes. There's a line in "The Company of Wolves"...that goes something along the lines of "there might be a beast in man, but it meets its match in woman." That strikes me as a good bit sexier than the "big tough guy" and "meek, fragile little woman" deal that generally requires so much self-delusion and play-acting by both parties. Different strokes, I suppose.
cal gal Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 Is that because they are relatives or because you had no physical attraction to them? See, I know some women that will look past a guys looks if he is strong, intelligent, independent and happy. But, that's rarely the case now-a-days. Usually there has to be SOME physical attraction that brings you to that person to spark up a conversation. We can spin this 100 ways but that is the way we're wired. We see someone, have an attraction to them, want to talk to them and get to know them better. If there is no physical attraction and you've never met or talked to them, what would be the reason to spark up a conversation in the first place other than chance? Have you ever had someone you were not physically attracted to approach you, express their interest in some fashion and left you wanting to know more about them? I'm sure there are some cases, but for the most part if there's no physical attraction women will plop them in the dreaded 'friends' zone of which I liken to a black hole men never crawl out of Ooooooh - my goodness, my heart is heavy for you right now.... as I am a gal that even strangers will walk up to and start a conversation with, also people have always (even as a kid) felt like they can be touchy feely with me. The people that know me best say it is my open body language and my ability to enjoy aspects of anyone and any situation. Personally, I don't have a clue, I do know that my son has possessed those qualities since birth. He is not only a chick magnet, but a people magnet. Ok, now I am possibly getting some insight to my life... he he. Never did my STBXH ever feel like when I was speaking with someone (or anyone) that I was wanting them sexually, I just happen to love fascinating people, conversations and ideas.
whichwayisup Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 The only woman who intimidates me now is my mother. She just has to give me that "evil eye" and all of a sudden I'm 8 years old again. besutiful Woggle, I wonder what a "besutiful" woman looks like???? (Just being a pain in the ass here! )
Woggle Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 Woggle, I wonder what a "besutiful" woman looks like???? (Just being a pain in the ass here! ) Typing is not my biggest strength.
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